Been together more than 5 years, sick of waiting

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
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  • Post # 61
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee

    This thread had devolved into projections. Did the OP even hint anywhere in her posts that she wants children, or that this is a motivation behind getting married? What I’ve read from her so far is that she’s “sick of waiting”, that her family expects them to get married, but that she’s somehow also not even thinking about getting married anytime soon (?). And all the updates have been related to ring prices. I’m not getting an impression of passion from all of this, honestly, other than from commenters on this thread who are completely outside of the situation but using it as a soapbox for their own personal perspectives on “waiting”.

    Oy.

    Post # 62
    Member
    5485 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    ecrisrien :  Pense moult, parle peu, ecris rien.” ?

    I’m not sure what kind of passion you’re looking for, the OP was clearly impassioned about having to wait. As far as not getting married right away, I read that as she didn’t necessarily want to get married right away, she could wait a year or so, which is a pretty normal time frame after an engagement. And the only reason people are talking about ring prices is because the boyfriend explicitly stated that he doesn’t have enough money to get an expensive ring….that the OP doesn’t even want. She seemed pretty impassioned about that as well.

     

    Post # 64
    Member
    805 posts
    Busy bee

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    midnightblaze :  I know this is an older post but I’m hoping you see it. I often wonder if wanting to buy an expensive ring is a bit of societal pressure of showing a man’s worth. Is he less worthy by not buying this expensive ring with his own money? Why does he not feel worthy without doing that? I think this is true sometimes and is in other cases a defense against taking action in their own life, sometimes it’s both. I agree with some of the previous bees’ posts, it’s something he needs to want to change about himself. You can’t change him but you can discuss it with him. Ultimately you need to figure out what your boundary is here. I know from experience,  I literally had to navigate this topic with my own boyfriend during the past year. It takes a lot of communication and work from both people in the relationship to see what works best for the future they want.

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