(Closed) Bees, are you having a Paid 'n Full Wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 136
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Historic house and gardens

My FI’s parents offered to contribute, but I wanted full control over the planning, so we politely declined. We are paying the full amount ourselves, totallying about 35k for the wedding and honeymoon. I wouldn’t spend that much if it were going to send us brioke, but we can comfortably save it between ow and the wedding, without cutting too many of our spending habits (we don’t usually go silly with spending anyway).

The honeymoon is costing the bulk of the amount, as we are going to Europe! Yay! We’ve already put most of our deposits down.

Post # 137
Member
975 posts
Busy bee

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SoNLoveWithHim:  We were only engaged for 5 months, so we didn’t have too much time to save up. Our parents both contributed, and we paid for the other 2/3 ourselves. We did go on what we called a “buying hiatus” for those 5 months, though, and ended up having to dip into my savings acct at the end.

After the wedding, we moved in together, and have been able to get our savings back up. It was nice to not have any wedding-related bills to pay after the fact. 

Post # 138
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

We are paying for everything except the honeymoon airfare and hotel (the fi’s dad is gifting that to us). Fi and I have been together for almost 6 years and living together almost 5 1/2 so we decided on a two year engagement. He proposed dec. 2012 and the wedding is jan. 2015. We both put money into the wedding. Our budget is $12k. No debt for us! Yay!

Post # 139
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

My mom gave us $7k and my FIl’s gave us $6k and we are paying the rest. We are 9 months out and deposits have been paid for everything.  We both get our annual work bonuses in Feb so we can pay any last min stuff befre  the wedding. We did not want to start our marriage in debt!!

Post # 140
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

Ours will be paid in full, well under 8000 for 100 people. I have worked hard to thrift shop, groupon and craiglist and ebay for alot of things. I found 2 sterling tussy mussys for $8.00 at a thirft shop for a children’s home, I found the flower girl and Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses (all David’s — new with tags) at a thirft shop (since the Flower Girl and BMs are my FIs kids, this would have been our expense). I got my invites from Vistaprint on a groupon deal. Found my photographer on Craiglist. Because we are getting married 2 days after Christmas, decorating has been a breeze! The restaurant we picked is not only already decorated but they have their own band and dance floor so, we saved a ton on that.  Found my dress, veil and jewelery on Ebay. If I had to buy all these things at full retail value, our wedding would be costing about double….

Post # 141
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We have no help from parents (we make more money than they do!), but I feel that’s only right. We’re adults making the most adult of commitments, so to turn around and say “Can I have a couple of grand for a party please mummy?” is ehhh… But I might have changed my mind if that was an option haha!

We’ve had a long engagement and started a joint savings account right at the start, so we have well over the wedding total saved by now. Whatever change we have left over from the wedding is the start of a house deposit. It’s so nice to know we won’t be starting out with a financial hangover from the wedding. 🙂 Plus seeing that massive number in our account makes me not want to spend it, so we might end up with a cheaper wedding because of it!

I’ve read something in this thread that actually is really interesting to me; brides who fiancees want to pay for the whole wedding. I almost can’t even imagine how this would work! It seems like a massive burden for one person to shoulder alone, and I would imagine it creates a massive imbalance in the couples personal finances. It obviously works for some couples, but I’d never heard of it before and it blew my mind to read about it. 

Post # 142
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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SoNLoveWithHim:  we decided to have a long engagement to make sure the wedding would be paid off. The wedding came out to about 30k and then another 10k for the honeymoon. My parents surprised us by giving us 15k which was very unexpected but was a great surprise. Everything was paid off in cash and we even had a little left over. It was def worth it to wait for us!

Post # 143
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Paid in full wedding over here. Nothing against girls that get help from their family but I’m fiercely independent and I feel like if I had family members contributing I would need to appease them and allow for their input. We are spending 6k to get married on a cliff in San Diego overlooking the pacific ocean and a 40 person reception with dancing on an outdoor patio also overlooking the ocean 🙂

Post # 144
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My husband and I are having a Vow Renewal on our 17th Anniversary. We didn’t have a traditional wedding the first time around and so we are going all out! We started planning about 16 months in advance to give ourselves time to pay for everything we (I) want. I wouldn’t have it any other way because I don’t want to deal with any debt or have to make any payments the day of the Renewal. Careful planning and smart shopping and our 5,000 budget will be just right!   

Post # 145
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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SoNLoveWithHim:  we are saving up money but then paying with credit card – chase rewards are awesome so we should be getting about $600 back in rewards points! I recommend paying with card for that reason, and also because if you pay a vendor with cash and they go out of business you are sort of SOL. If you save up money and then use a credit card and pay it off right away, it’s not building debt

Post # 146
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

We are paying for ours on our own. We have been paying for everything a bit at a time since we were engaged last August. We knew for sure we didn’t want any debt. I am happy we have done it this way. 

Post # 147
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

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Please help ! Anything is appreciated !!!

Post # 148
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Industrial/Modern

I haven’t had any discussions with my parents about budget yet but I am not making any assumptions (though knowing them they’ll want to foot the entire bill). As of now we’re planning on paying for it and I’ve set a tentative budget of $25000. We know we want less than a hundred people (probably no more than 75 truthfully) so I’m thinking that’s a reasonable goal. Since I’m anticipating an offer from them though I’ve picked a couple things that they can pay for if they really kick up a fuss (my dress for instance.) 

I’ve been hyper independent my whole life (put myself through college etc). It’s a delicate balance though because me staunchly refusing could potentially hurt their feelings which of course I want to avoid doing.

Post # 149
Member
45 posts
Newbee

My parents mentioned in passing they’d help, but I think the prices of everything has them shell shocked.  So, we are going to try and pay for it all on our own. SUPER stressed, and cutting things out, but I think we can do it if we stick to our guns!

Post # 150
Member
1942 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We have been paying for everything as it goes. Instead of giving deposits, we are paying in full. By the time the wedding comes around, everything will be paid off. The only thing we haven’t paid for is my dress because my mom always wanted to buy it for me. 

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