Ok first and foremost, we are all human… and we have “chemistry” will lots of different people
WHAT MATTERS is what we do with that chemistry… whether we act upon it or not
And Chemistry won’t suddenly go away in some cases just because we get engaged or married (which is WHY I tell people, that when your relationship status changes, so should the boundaries that you have with the “relationships” outside of your couple-dom… be that with Family or Friends)
Ie. When one marries, the relationship (NEW Family) you’ve formed with your Spouse should come BEFORE other relationships or family ties… so the NEW Family needs comes before HIS Family or YOUR Family. Most Newlyweds run into this issue first with Holidays, and how to spend them.
Likewise, friendships should change too. Be those the ones you or your hubby have with same sex pals (the GFs you hang with, the guys he golfs with) it is very healthy to have a posse of friends, but not so much if they impose on your home life / couple time.
Same with opposite sex friends… boundaries should change when one becomes part of a duo to honour that relationship. I strongly believe it is disrespectful to a spouse to see opposite sex friends one-on-one outside of being a couple. Just too much sharing and possibility of the relationship developing further.
Truth is, when it comes to opposite sex friendships more often than not one of the parties is interested in the possiblity of MORE coming out of the relationship. And that ends up causing hurt feelings and pain inevitably somewhere along the way.
All that said.
You call this person a friend who is giving you this crazy CHEMISTRY advice when you are perhaps thinking of getting engaged / married to your current SO ?
She what is proposing that you stop dating your SO to check out one of these guys as a “potential” mate
OR was she thinking more along the lines of you should just have some hook ups behind your SO’s back ?
She is planting seeds of doubt in your mind for a reason.
A – She doesn’t like your current SO
B – She really likes your SO and would like to have him for herself, and in order to do that she needs you out of the picture / find someway that your relationship with him is in jeoparday
Truthfully… even talking about this concept with her may be enough… I mean she now tells your SO that you’ve been “wondering” out loud about other men, could put serious doubt in a guy’s brain about the TRUSTWORTHINESS of his women
(Men are uber competitive… and trusting their Woman around other men, men who might horn-dog in on their territory is a HUGE CONCERN to them… they don’t want a woman who can easily turn her head / potentially cheat. Men don’t take well to women who cheat on them… even emotional cheaters)
This Girlfriend isn’t a friend… she’s a shark, and not to be trusted.
Hope this helps,