(Closed) Bees doing IUI or IVF… Question and emotional vent

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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hollyberry4:  I’m very sorry you and your DH are going through this. It might make more sense to go to IVF with the results your DH has right now. They would be able to do ICSI if the sperm needed help.

IVF has a higher success rate so if the sperm is the main reason for not getting pregnant,  there are ways to get past that.

I wish you all the best and hope that you get your BFP soon!

Post # 3
1591 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

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hollyberry4:  Hugs. I feel your pain! We’ve been at it 1.5 years and I’m currently in my first cycle with injectables and timed intercourse. My initial consult and work up was in the middle of April and I started my first treatment cycle at the beginning of June (I could’ve started mid May but we were out of town). 

As for moving straight to IVF, I’m pretty sure my insurance won’t cover IVF until I’ve had 6 failed IUI cycles. So that might be something to look into with yours! IUI doesn’t have a high success rate, but there are lots of bees who have had success with IUI! Best of luck!

Post # 4
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ive just been through 2 cycles of IVF and i’m now on to a Frozen embryo transfer cycle. We are doing this for the same reason as you-MFI. 


The first cycle was a complete fiasco- only 1 of my 13 eggs fertilized naturally with my husbands pretty good sperm sample. ICSI was not used because our insurance only covers ICSI until after 1 failed cycle. Needless to say, we realized how bad our fertility issues were and how important sperm quality is.


the second cycle, ICSI was used and 10/16 eggs fertilized, 6 made it to freeze. We are trasnferring 2 in late July as a result of that cycle.


ICSI was a life saver for us and it will probably be the route your RE goes consdering you are battling MFI. Our first consultation was Feb. 29. We started cycling in April, then again in June. I had to be on BCP’s before each cycle so that lengthens the timeline a bit. I also had to do some testing before our first cycle- CD 3 bloodwork and a Sono HSG. 

We dont have a sticky baby (yet!)  but then again we havent made it to transfer yet- so hopefully I can say otherwise in July!


Good luck! IVF was the best decision we’ve made regarding TTC. 

Post # 5
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

Sorry you have to deal with this. Word of advice if you want a late August appointment- schedule it now! Many clinics take months for new patients to get first appoointments. I wanted one in July and ended up with my first in the end of October. Then I had my IVF testing and found out that my husband’s lack of sperm (we did a biopsy and an exteremly complicated  testicular surgery to figure that out and have now moved on to Donor sperm) and my endometriosis (for which I’ve had 3 surgeries and 7 months of chemically induced menopuse between surgeries 2 and 3 because it was so bad) were not our only issues, at 33 I found out I’m almost out of eggs too and barely respond to IVF meds. Due to our many, many issues we’re just now starting a cycle in which we will make our first embryos even though our first IVF cycle began just after the first of the year. We’re an extreme outlier though. In general it takes a few weeks for a month for tests, then about 6 weeks for an IVF cycle. I would think that with your husband’s issues you should have no issue going right to IVF. you can alway push for it anyways if you do. By The Way, there’s a 1 year+ TTC thread where all the ladies have issues TTC and sany are doing IUI and IVF. You’ll find great support there.

Post # 6
203 posts
Helper bee

Hugs to you ! So sorry infertility just sucks and it’s emotionally draining . I do not have a success story as we are almost in the same boat as you right now . DH has low sperm count ,his last count was only 4 million with 2% morphology . High FSH level also . He had surgical correction for undescended testicles as a baby so that is where his low counts are coming from . His urologist really did not think we had any chance without IVF where my doctor made it seem like we could get pregnant naturally with his counts as his motility is good . 

I have an appointment for an IVF consult in August .I think we are going to try one IUI next month and then move on to IVF as our insurance does not cover any of this and we do not want to waste money .But for us to mentally move on we need to try IUI .  Sorry that I don’t have any answers , it just helps to talk about this with someone who can relate to what we are going through . 

I really hope your insurance goes through and that you are successful very soon !!

Post # 7
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with 

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Aqualov: – schedule your appoinment now. They may already be booked through August! You also may want to have consults with more than one clinic before choosing. We have MFI and did 3 IUIs (well, two were cancelled) because they were covered by insurance and it sort of let us ease into fertility treatments. My IUIs were with injectables, so it was actually really helpful to see how I respond to the meds since they are the same meds for IVF. Anyway, we had our IVF consult in October and started in November. We got 3 blasts from our first cycle but two BFNs and had to try all over again. Our second cycle has been MUCH better – we got 12 high grade blasts and did genetic testing (PGS) and got 6 genetically normal. We just transferred a perfect one on Friday, so we don’t know yet if it stuck, but we are crossing everything and holding our breaths! It’s a long haul, it’s expensive, and it’s incredibly emotionally trying, but I am 100% certain that it will be entirely worthwhile when we see our baby. Take your time and do your research, I know it seems really overwhelming at first but you learn a lot as you go along!

Post # 9
203 posts
Helper bee

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hollyberry4:  Wow that is amazing that your state has that law ! I live in New York so it’s not required . Although they have a grant program we are looking into that we might qualify for with his high FSH level . His urologist has him on clomid right now to try to increase his count . And yes about the self blame . He was in tears when we first found out . He is very close to his mom and confessed to her that he feels like he failed me 🙁. I just have to remind him we are on the same team and we have the same end goal. I am sorry you are going through this also . My doctor suspects I might have PCOS as my AMH level was at 7.1 so guess now it is both of us . It really just sucks . 

Post # 10
8982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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hollyberry4:  I’m in Massachusetts and we have a similar insurance law except it’s 1 year for under 35 and 6 months for over 35. Our insurance didn’t really require special documentation for us to start – I’d been off the pill for 1.5 years and my doctor noted that we told him we’d be trying. Hopefully that’s all you need too. It’s a shame more states don’t require coverage – any other medical diagnosis is covered so why should infertility be any different?! 

Post # 11
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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hollyberry4:  We’re in a similar boat as you with MFI. My husband has a varicocele that is the most likely cause of his low counts (his most recent test showed 4 million sperm, 25% motile). He is gonig to have surgery this Fall to repair the varicocele, but in the meantime we are trying our first IUI this week. The odds aren’t nearly as good as IVF, but they’re also better than natural intercourse with a 4 million count. Most RE’s want to see a count of at least 5 million to do an IUI. Our doc does them with a minimum of 2 million.  

Post # 12
422 posts
Helper bee

First, I’m sorry. Infertility is a really, really rough thing to go through as a couple and individually. You will make it through, just keep your chin up and keep on truckin’.

We did IVF for PCOS (I over-responded to even clomid and femara which resulted in 2 cancelled IUIs. Read: $3000 down the drain without even a chance of success). My husband had 0% morphology and low motility so our RE was quite skeptical on if it would have been a worthy try for us anyways.

After the 2 IUI attempts (which spanned 9 months and we tried 2 different REs), we made plans to move ahead with IVF. However, a month after decided to do IVF we also decided to up and move to another state which delayed us another several months. We ended up doing IVF with a 3rd Re 18 months after our first failed IUI. We did ICSI to overcome any MFI issues and I’m glad we went there instead of trying other IUIs. In hindsight, I had a feeling that IUI was not right for us and wish we had saved the money and just done IVF. I know the timing was right for us, though. Happy to report that we conceived on our first transfer, am 20 weeks pregnant with a singleton and have 5 embryos waiting for future tries.

You can do this – just follow your gut. The advice I give everyone I know who is undergoing treatment is to have the cash up front. Don’t put it on a credit card, and don’t take out a loan. You don’t want to have a monthly payment reminding you of a failed cycle. Write the check and then forget about the money.

Post # 13
676 posts
Busy bee
Post # 14
2200 posts
Buzzing bee

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hollyberry4:  Sorry you are struggling with ttc. We have been doing fertility treatments for a while, and honestly it is more of a relief than trying naturally, because at least it is doing something. Our clinic was pretty quick to start everything after the first consult (but new patient consult appointment took a while). After the consult, one month was spent doing testing (as certain tests have to be done on certain cycle days), and the following month we started IUIs. We did 3 back to back IUIs (no sucess) and went to IVF. IVF took about 2 months to start. After first IVF, we had an early loss that dragged out for 3 months, so that delayed the process of starting ivf again. After you get in the clinic, the treatments can start very soon thereafter, but during treatments there can be number of things to cause delays.

As far as IUIs, personally, knowing what I know now, I would not waste a penny on those. The sucess rates are the lowest with male factor, and aside from timing things perfectly (which you already do on your own if use opks, tempting, etc), IUI is not doing much to overcome the male factor issue. I would skip those and go straight to IVF (unless you have insurance coverage that would pay for everything and requires IUIs as a pre-req).

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