Bees Have You Been Criticized For Your Ring Being to Large?

posted 6 months ago in Engagement
Post # 32
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

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@g456:  I just don’t see it as judging in the sense that you mean. Like, I 100000% do not care where someone’s ring comes from. But I certainly am going to assume my wealthy friend’s 4ct ring is a diamond and my LMC friend’s 4ct ring is not because that’s basic logic. That doesn’t mean anything good or bad about those people.

Post # 33
Member
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@g456:  Errr….I don’t know if you’re right here. The point that people make assumptions based on lifestyle v ring size is one based in logic. For me, it’s a vague interest. If I see a big ring on someone’s finger, who lives an otherwise modest lifestyle, it’s not a “lol bet it isn’t real, can’t possibly be real! What a fake!”, my thoughts are always”huh that’s a big ring I wonder if it’s a diamond or a moissy etc etc” but the only words out of my mouth would be “OMG what a gorgeous ring!!” – no matter what my thoughts were; small, big, gouche, whatever. When I saw Paris Hilton’s engagement ring, I literally thought “the f*ck is that thing it looks like it fell out the ass end of a gumball machine”. 

But I wouldn’t go up to her and say it.

We can have thoughts, Bee. What separates good people from the bad or ignorant is those who vocalise them out of spite or stupidity.

Post # 36
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

Personally I’ve never experienced direct criticism for the size of my ring, just mixed responses. Some people saying “wow your ring is huge” while others have said “oh it’s cute”. While I don’t love hearing my ring is “cute”, I just assume people have varying expectations of an ering. 
However I have witnessed friends who have received pretty rude comments. One of my close friends in particular has a very large diamond ring and a stranger asked her “how big of a loan did he have to take out to buy that?”. First of all, zero loan. She and her husband work very hard and are extremely wealthy. She was pretty shocked to say the least, but didn’t let it bother her.
Honestly if you love your ring that’s all the matters because it will always be too small or too large for someone out there. 

Post # 38
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Criticized – not really, harsh comment regarding style – yes.

But most people really don’t care or even noticing.

I agree that no one should be criticized by their jewellery. Different priority for different folks. But in the world that we live in, people will judge period. Just trying not to be one of them.

Post # 39
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee

I couldn’t actually care if someone’s ring is real, fake, lab or anything else as long as they are happy with it.  If they show me their new ring, I say ‘how beautiful’ – or if I truly think it’s hideous, I’ll say ‘congratulations, you must be so pleased with it’ instead.  Because no one wants to hear negative comments or questions about their e-ring.  And it doesn’t matter if I think their ring is the most horrible one on the planet, because they like it and it’s their ring, not mine.

It wouldn’t even occur to me to wonder how someone afforded it, is it real, should they have spent that much…because it’s none of my business.

Post # 40
Member
663 posts
Busy bee

I haven’t been criticised about the size of my ring (it’s only 0.6ct anyway) but a coworker did criticise the fact I chose it myself, in a back-handed sort of way. 

We got engaged within about a month of each other (mine happening first) and my SO and I chose the ring together. When coworker got engaged a month later she made a real show of the fact her fiance chose the ring himself and she ‘wouldn’t wanted to have ruined the surprise and chosen it herself, it’s far more romantic this way’ etc etc. 

Post # 41
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee

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@peach11:  Rubbish!  What’s ‘romantic’ differs for each couple – if you & your OH enjoyed picking the ring together that’s far more romantic than being presented with a pre-chosen ring you didn’t want!

Post # 42
Member
663 posts
Busy bee

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@teaandcake:  I don’t believe her anyway to be honest. She’s has lied about stuff in the past, and her proposal was very much orchestrated to be as Instagrammable as possible, so I don’t believe for one second she had no input in that ring lol. 

 

Post # 43
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have a small size 4 finger and wear a just under 2 carat diamond. 

The only person who has ever made a comment about it….was my Mother-In-Law 😇  Naturally she had to say “woooooow. I bet that wasn’t cheap…” in a rather disapproving tone  

Admittedly, we do have very different lifestyles. So while she would never buy a piece of jewelry like that or really any other luxurious item, her son can and does. Though I do find it funny that she always comments on the price of things DH and I have but it doesn’t phase her that her daughter drives a Range Rover and loves luxury items (clothes, bags, furniture, etc).

And that’s why Mother-In-Law won’t ever know that we just bought a new beach house 😉 I don’t need her judgement 

Post # 44
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

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@mrscb2bee:  wow! Keeping your beach house a secret from your Mother-In-Law, impressive, and probably the best luxury of all!

Post # 45
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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@g456:  To be fair, we don’t communicate with her much these days anyway. We stopped playing her little games and I guess she got bored with us. So there’s really no need to tell them anyway. We aren’t close 

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