(Closed) Bees: Have you ever TURNED DOWN a proposal?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever declined a proposal?

    Yes - and I was expecting it

    Yes - and the proposal totally surprised me

    I said "maybe" or wasn't sure

    No, I accepted/ he hasn't proposed yet

  • Post # 17
    Member
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Oh snap..I have never been asked that question or even thought about it but yeah…I guess I did turn down the guy I dated before I was with my hubs. Luckily he didn’t get the ring, or kneel down and propose (that woulda been awkward) but he had been feeling me out for a while and I basically avoided the topic because I knew that I wasn’t in love with him and I didn’t know how tog et out because I was afraid to be alone…well finally he said he needed to know if I would marry him or not because he couldn’t continue a relationship with someone indifferent….well, I told him the truth as hard as it was that I couldnt marry him, ever….that my heart just wasn’t in it…I remember that was the first time I saw a guy cry for me…in front of me, and I remember knowing exactly how he felt because I’d cried for someone else before too.

     

    Now if we’re talking strangrs on the street…well, I guess I’ve turned down alot of propostals in that case. lol. 

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Ooh I have one. Years ago I was in a LDR and on the one visit talk turned to marriage. It wasn’t a serious discussion and felt very hypothetical to me. So the next day I wake up and there is a picture of a wedding gown on the bedside table (I will never forget it; strapless, a-line, with a strip of ZEBRA PRINT ribbon on the neckline). About 40 minutes later his mom comes over and lectures me on how ‘she is giving her son to me as he is with all his mistakes’ etc. I felt the blood draining from my face and started sweating. This lady was so sincere and I had ZERO idea what was going on. She also told me she chose the dress.

     

    I left that weekend and NEVER went back. I mean, clearly he thought we were magically engaged, without giving me a say in the matter – but had discussed it at length with his mom who basically had to inform me of what was happening and ‘give him to me’ like a family heirloom.

     

    Erm, no.

    Post # 19
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

    View original reply
    @littlebeanpole:  hehe now he knows you have options. Tough choices. That is a stellar bum. The best I have gotten from a bum is “hey hey, baby, come and spend the night with me!” So tempting.

    the random strangers thing has happened.. It was weird, but I can’t take that seriously. 

    The worst was my ex- we lived together for two years, I ended it because although he was an amazing guy, I just wasn’t in love. After I moved to Italy he had a meltdown, and begged my dad to help him get me back, and called me saying he was coming to Italy to live with me and get married. I had to break his heart again. Now he has a gf who seems to love him to pieces, and I’m really happy. That’s what everyone deserves.

    Post # 20
    Member
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @PromiseRooster:  holy crap that boy cray to the mother effin cray!!

    Post # 21
    Member
    9015 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: Dorset, UK

    I was going to say no but then remember when I was in my 2nd year of Uni and my then BF who was Scottish was in his 1st year and after the end of term was moving back to Scotland to go study there. I think there was a drunken final sexy time proposal there somewhere. Think I kind of just skipped past it! We tried to keep it going LD during the summer break but it didn’t work out. He was such a good guy as well and we had such fun. Ah well.

    Post # 22
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    No, but I narrowly avoided one. My overly-attached ex told me during our break up that he had been intending to propose – my god I was relieved that I avoided that moment! How awkward!!!

    Post # 23
    Member
    3088 posts
    Sugar bee

    I have never been in a long term relationship with a man who did not want to get married/ask for marriage. Answer is yes.

    Post # 24
    Member
    7367 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Yep, he was a great guy but I knew I wasn’t in love with him to the degree that he need or that warrented a marriage. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee

    An ex bf of mine didn’t exactly propose, but he took me on a weekend trip that was supposed to be very romantic including a trip to the jewelry store to pick out a ring. I had decided by this point that I was going to break up with him, so I slept on the very opposite edge of the bed as him all weekend and avoided holding hands, etc. When he took me to look at rings and said he was hoping I’d pick one out, I walked him out of the store and told him I thought we should break up. He looked devastated, but we both moved on. That was years ago.

    Post # 26
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    The guy I dated before Fiance proposed to me. 

    We dated for about 6 months. He wanted to get a place together, and buy me a car.

    There wasn’t a spark between us, but everything on paper seemed so good.. and I think he felt the same way. Like, we were trying to make it work because it seemed like it should.

    Thank goodness I wised up on that one, and then met Fiance & had immediate sparks.

    Post # 27
    Member
    4845 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I had a homeless guy walk up with a sign that said ‘marry me?’…. does that count? 

    Post # 28
    Member
    357 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2005

    So, it wasn’t a full ring-in-hand proposal, but I went through a time where things were going south with my long term SO (8 years), and we were staying up late having all these heart felt messy discussions, and he suggested that we should get married.  Yeah… let’s get married when you’re already driving me nuts and I’m not sure I can stand you any longer, good answer.  He basically thought that it would stick us together so he could stop being so insecure all the time.  I told him hell to the no would I marry him while things were like that between us – that it wasn’t something to do to try to fix a problem, only something to consider when/if our problems were fixed.

    We broke up.

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