(Closed) Bees. He cheated on me. Now what?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Take your time. You can decide what to do later. I hope everything works out. HUGS

Post # 3
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

Ugh, I’m so sorry, OP. This really sucks 🙁 It really shouldn’t be happening. You don’t deserve this.

To answer your question, what do you want to do? 

Post # 4
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Oh my god. Hugs to you sweetie. 

Can you block his number from calling and texting you? I’m pretty sure you can on iphone.

You seem to have made up your mind to leave him, and I commend you for that. Although be prepared to miss him and be tempted to go back over the next little while. Don’t cave. 

I suggest getting a friend or family member to go over there and get your stuff. 

Dont worry about notifying people the wedding is off. Or let a trusted person who is close to you spread the word. 

When I’ve been in situations like yours, I told my friends right away. It really helped me avoid staying with him or going back because I know how bad that would make me look and I didn’t want to let anyone else down.

I’m just so sorry you’re going through this. You deserve so much better. 

Post # 5
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Im sorry your going through this. Take the time you need to process everything. Dont feel pressured to talk to him before you are ready. 

Post # 6
Member
9524 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

That sucks! I want to say that atleast you found out before the wedding, but that is only of little help. I’m sorry. I’m glad you have your mother to turn to

Post # 7
Member
11428 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

That is awful, so sorry bee:-( I think you need time to process what’s happened, so take this time away and don’t feel like you have to talk to him unless you want to. You deserve better!

Post # 8
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

He doesn’t get the right to call and text you to make himself feel better. You take all the time you need and lean on your Mumma

Post # 10
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It’s pretty simple, dump him. If he had brought home an std to you, then what? Once a cheater, most possibly will cheat again down the road. You should be happy, ypu’re not married yet.

Post # 11
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Id probably have to walk from the relationship, I just would not trust him ever again. Cheating is a deal breaker for me. No amount of counseling would ever erase that memory for me. 

I’d distance myself for a bit till you can clear your mind and then make a decision.

Post # 12
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’d leave ASAP. He screwed another girl, which is the ultimate form of betrayal. No going back on that one.

Post # 13
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Ive been reading this sort of thing a lot lately! Why the hell are these “men” getting engaged if they cant keep it in their freakin pants!!! SO selfish and evil in my opinion! I have been cheated on. I was done. Im so so sorry you are going through this. 🙁

Post # 14
Member
21 posts
Newbee

Speaking from experience, I had always thought I’d give someone a second chance, however when it happened to me I had absolutely no desire to stick around. His stuff was gone, I was happy because I knew I respected myself enough to make a decision based purely on facts rather than emotion, and 3 months later I met my current SO (the best thing thats ever happened to me)

 

OP- If your partner doesnt respect you, or your relationship enough to stay faithful, why does he deserve you?

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

I actually just had Marriage Prep class tonight, and we had to do this exercise where we listed our top values and see if they lined up.  My fiance and I both listed “trust” or “trustworthiness”.  I think for a marriage to work you must have this.

I’m sorry.  Be strong.

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