(Closed) Nevermind. /edited to remove

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3135 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

he sounds very, very immature. I think you guys need to work on communicating better. And also, make sure you actually like each other. There’s a lot of anger & aggression in this story. I don’t think getting engaged in the near future is the best idea. 

Post # 4
5065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Wow, sorry hun. How did it go from a gekko dish to your engagement…Your engagement will still be wonderful. It sounds like your SO was just letting off steam. Can you just get a rewind and move forward.

Post # 7
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

So, it kind of sounds like you guys need to have a CALM taalk about this ‘surprise’ thing.

Maybe ask him to tell you when he’s planning something, but not disclose what it is. People like to have security and know what’s going on, but surprises are nice too. If he were just to say to you ‘hey, i’m planning a surprise, can you do this ___ to help make it work?’ That way you’ll know he’s planning a surprise, you can then make appropriate plans (time off work, or keeping that day free ect) and it will go a LOT smoother. It’s disruptive for someone to say ‘here’s a surprise, drop what you’re doing!’, maybe he doesn’t know that you would prefer surprises to include you in a non-specific way (by letting you know he’s planning something, but not WHAT he’s planning).

As for the gecko dish, I think that was just a bad timing thing. I would FREAK if I thought I had forgotten to feed my horses (i once fell asleep, FH fed them and I woke up at 6pm in a frenzy, then I found a note he left me coz he knew i’d freak lol), but to him, he might have thought ‘well, this will put her in a good mood, I was thoughtful and got her a gift!’, he probably didn’t see why you were in a bad mood and needed to know immediately where the dish came from. He probably wanted to let the suspense build or get you a little confused and then be like ‘BAM! I’m awesome!’ Lol.

Don’t worry about the surprise being ‘ruined’. As you said, he LOVES surprises, he’ll probably plan another one now. My FH planned a week long holiday for my bday (also for him to propose), and was planning on surprising me last minute. He ended up having to tell me though (the plan for animal care fell through a month before) and I am glad he told me. I would have needed time to wrap my head around the idea and plan ahead. Even though FH had done a great job, I still need to adjust to big surprises like that. I’d explain why you needed to know a.s.a.p about the dish, why you got a bit snappy, that you appreciate the fact he bought you a dish. Ask that he tell you when he’s planning a big surprise, but to keep details secret so it’s still a surprise.

Good luck.

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