(Closed) Bees, how did you choose your dress?

posted 4 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I am the same! And it doesn’t help that there is this hyped up ‘teary moment’ and you should ‘just know.’ I tried on maybe… 80 dresses? I searched for months and there wasn’t a single dress that made me tear up. Nothing ever seemed 100% perfect. In the end I felt like I had been to every store in my city, I’d had about 20 appointments and still hadn’t had any amazing feelings. I had seen one online that I liked so I flew interstate to try it on. I ended up picking that one even though I still didn’t get ‘that special feeling.’ I am a little worried that I just picked it because I had gone to all the extra effort to try it on. It is pretty amazing though, my Maid/Matron of Honor got teary! It was the shape, colour and lace I wanted so figured it was as good as it was gonna get. It comes in in September so fingers crossed I still like it!

 I think it’s definitely worth seeing what else is out there, even if it does cost you. If I had picked something from my first day of shopping I would have been way off my dream dress. I think at the end of the day not everyone gets that bridal moment.

Post # 3
1701 posts
Bumble bee

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It seems you are more focused on what your mom is getting/wearing than what you are wearing…

1. Unless you buy a sample, your wedding dress isn’t “off the rack”…and even if it is a sample – who cares?! 

2. There are WAY more options in samples for wedding dresses than MOB dresses

3. Who is going to know or care what your mother’s dress process was?

4. I would want my mother to look and feel beautiful at my wedding – whatever it takes for her to make that happen, go for it! 

5. Are you paying for her dress?

6. I don’t understand this notion that brides need to try on hundreds or even dozens of dresses before finding “the one”…I am sure you can find a dress that you will love and feel beautiful in – don’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be

I have gone to dozens over weddings over the years…I can’t remember ONE dress someone wore…at the time, they all looked beautiful, but beyond that I don’t remember. 

Post # 4
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I was very logical when it came to dress shopping. I got teary in a dress I didn’t buy but I think that was more because I felt like for the first time in 6 shops we were heading in the right direction. When I put my dress on I just analyzed it like I had with all the others and then when my mother and I were talking privately I just found myself saying “We aren’t going to top this dress” and that was it. I haven’t regretted my decision once and if I ever get doubtful I just look at the pictures and it all melts away.

Post # 5
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I had a gut feeling about my gown since my older sister got engaged in the summer of 2013. She said she was thinking of an Allure gown so I went and searched their site to see what they had and then I fell in love with Allure 9155. As soon as I tried it on after getting engaged last summer – I just knew it was it. It was everything I had been imagining. I felt like a bride. 

Post # 6
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: The Retreat at Bradley\'s Pond

Where do you live that there is such a limited selection? I agree with most of what 

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ct2015:  said! Who cares what your mother’s process is. Let her even tell people it’s custom if that’s what she needs in life. Here’s the struggle- it’s your day, but she’s been looking forward to this for 20-30 years. She’s beyond excited. Maybe for the right reasons, maybe for the wrong but she’s excited none of the less. Try to not let it distract you from your goals- marry the love of your life and find something you feel amazing in. 

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cinnapep:  I was just like you I swear! I had to have tried on 50-75 dresses, hitting some stores 2-3 times to go through all of their selections. In the end I ended up finding the style dress I wanted all along at the best price. It was a floor sample (so it was a bit big on me) which had some decent stains (and not just on the bottom but across the bodice in black) but I got it cleaned before the wedding and it looked PERFECT. Nobody knew that but me and my bridal party… and it was 60% off for that reason. 

Before going into stores, really do your research in magazines and online on styles/colors/details you really want and show the store that. It’ll save you and your attendent time on trying on styles you ultimately don’t want anyways. Most of my shopping was done by myself I would say because I figured it was easier to wean down the list and then show family the top contenders. The day I tried on my dress I didn’t really cry but that’s because I already saw it online, been obsessing about it for a week, and when it fit, had the right price I just called my mom while in it and was like “we’re done!”. We were just tickled!

So don’t worry about everyone crying, focus on being so excited that you never want to get out of it! 🙂 It’ll come to you in time. 

Post # 7
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I really didn’t have any strong emotions about my dress. Compared to the other dresses, it just looked better on me in general. It was a lot lighter than the other ones, and very much my style. I know this isn’t particularly helpful, but it was kind of a “when you know, you know” moment. Every dress I tried on inevitably got compared to that first one, so eventually I was like you know what, let’s just go get it. And the minute I tried it on again, I just knew that was it!

Post # 8
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I always have a pretty logical approach when buying clothes. My wedding dress was no different.

1. I’ma  quality not quantity person. Money talks. I like expensive things so I needed a relatively expensive dress. You can tell the difference between designer and discount. YOu just can. THe seams. THe threads, etc. 

2. I had to be able to wear a bra. Low backs. Cut out backs are cool and all, but they rarely look perfect. Back fat. Saggy boob. No cleavage. Even when I’m buying a party dress I make sure there can be a bra. We see all of these styles in magazines that look flawless, but it’s so unfair because they’ve been altered, the wearer has implants, etc. I just know that’s a look I’d never be able to get so I don’t try, lol.

3. Alterations. I wanted as few as possible so I straight up stayed away from lace. I also picked a dress that I liked “as is” I didn’t want to picture something if this was cut, tweaked, etc. What if it all goes wrong? What if it’s not like you pictured?

4. It had to be relatively easy to move in.

5. THat “feeling” you get when you love something.

Post # 9
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I thought I was going to be one of those people who tried on 100 dresses. I can’t make decisions and I had a ton of anxiety about dress shopping. I ended up trying on a total of 5. My dress was number 4. I was convinced I wanted a-line, but they put this drop waist/fit and flare/mermaid dress on me and I knew it was the one before she had it zipped. I didn’t cry or come close to crying. I just felt amazing in the dress.

Maybe if you find yourself not loving anything, then try on some different styles, even if you think they won’t look good.

I agree with others, don’t worry about what your mother is wearing. Let her do what she wants. It really doesn’t matter. Focus on you!

Post # 10
2317 posts
Buzzing bee

Where do you live where you have to pay to try on bridal gowns?  I have never heard of that.  Just a question because I am genuinely curious.

But I had to try on about 100 dresses over the course of 3 months to find the right dress. I did not tear up but the dress I chose made me smile all gitty and I felt special.  I even kept tinking about it after I left the store and would imaging wearing it around the hose.  I bought it two weeks later.  

Some things I considered…

  • Venue – What style of dress will fit 
  • My preferences – I tried on dresses and picked the shilouttes that flattered my body the most
  • Material – Some dreses just feel cheap or do not have enough structure, those I passes on
  • Formality – My wedding is Black- Tie so My dress needed to be more formal than casual
  • Color – I knew I did not want stark White – I choose designers that made colors that complimented my complexion
  • Construction – I saw elements of dresses that I disliked such as Horizontal seams on mermaids and visible selvage fabric on satin gowns.  Those dresses I did not try on it saved time
  • Material – as soon as I tried on materials I disliked I did not try on any other gowns with similar fabrics
  • What I want for my wedding day – I want to feel glam, elegant and vintage. (Eventhough my wedding is not vintage) I wanted something in a style that I would Never ever wear again beause It is not practical in any situation.  
Post # 11
10352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I put it on and was like “Yeah, this one doesn’t suck. I’ll take it.” I seriously hated everything I tried on so as soon as I found something I didn’t totally hate I went with it.

Also, I bought my dress off the rack and took it home that day. Custom doesn’t always mean better. I’ve seen some truly hideous custom made dresses.

Post # 12
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

I went in wanting a white lace with blue underlay simple modified A-line with straps with no train.

I ended up with a strapless lace and tulle full A-line gown, hand-beaded lace appliqués dropped waist bodice with chapel length train. It is ivory with champagne and light gold.

Honestly, I tried on about 10 gowns. I showed the girl my pinterest board and told her that I am open to trying other things. This was one of her picks. She found something identical to what I described so I was torn between the two. But when I walked out and saw my families reaction to me in the dress and they all told me how I glowed and just looked super happy in this dress more so than other, that was my selling point. Once I put the veil on with it I just got emotional and said yes. So moral of my story, is be open to trying things on outside of what you came in asking for, If you have a great consultant they should find something to look great on you and that you like!

Post # 13
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I made two appointments at different shops in one day. I tried on a bunch of different styles at the first shop, quickly realising that what I liked on Pinterest didn’t suit me at all. I  analysed each one, was it comfortable, could I walk, what did I like, what didn’t I like? I went to the second shop and tried a few dresses on, telling the woman what I liked and didn’t like about each one. She picked a dress for me. When I tried it on, it was comfortable, it made me feel beautiful and it was the cheapest I’d tried on. I didn’t cry or get an ‘OMG’ moment, neither did my mum. I think it partly depends how practical you are in your approach to most other things but you don’t need to have any moment you just need to feel comfortable in it. The dress and the day will do the rest of the work for you.

Post # 14
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

First, I looked online to see what styles I liked to instantly narrow down my search. Then I went to a David’s Bridal to try on some gowns, not necessarily planning to buy from there but just to see how the styles I liked looked on me IRL.

While there, I realized a) all white bridal dresses kinda looked the same to me (which I’d already suspected would happen after watching Say Yes to the Dress), b) they were all terribly uncomfortable, even the thinnest/most lightweight ones, and c) I didn’t care about looking “traditional” and didn’t want to spend $$$ on a dress I only wore once. 

I ended up in the evening gown section of my local department stores, looking for an off-white or nude evening gown. I found a sparkly, lightweight nude sheath gown at Bloomingdale’s on clearance for $250, had it altered for another $50, had a veil custom made to match by an Etsy seller, and splurged on a pair of Jimmy Choo wedges. I LOVE my dress – I felt like myself in it, if that makes sense – it was so comfy yet glamorous, and the veil made me feel bridal. I can’t wait to wear that lovely dress again. 

I have to point out I did not at any point have “that moment” – I never got weepy, neither did my mom or sister, who I’m very close to, and I never swooned and said “this is the one” – I still felt incredible on my wedding day. I am also not that girl who dreamed of her wedding since I was a little girl so really I wasn’t weepy or overwhelmed with emotion at any point – I was happy, nervous, excited, but it wasn’t like what you see on TV. 

Post # 15
728 posts
Busy bee

I made like 8 appointments in one week and just went for it. I went to all the appointments and then went back to the dress I liked the best. It was a slow process of ‘okay this is the dress’ definitely no tears. I didn’t want to have dress regret at all so I made sure to see a lot of choices. I’m a huge online shopper but even seeing the dresses in person it was so hard to tell what they looked like until I got them on. 

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