(Closed) Bees, How do you feel about your spouse watching Porn?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: How do you feel about your spouse watching porn?
    I am against my spouse watching porn, and I believe that SO doesn't watch it, ever. : (79 votes)
    13 %
    I am against my spouse watching porn, but I think SO does it anyway. : (23 votes)
    4 %
    I am against my spouse watching porn, but I know SO does it anyway. : (39 votes)
    7 %
    I don't care if SO watches porn. : (249 votes)
    42 %
    We watch porn together. : (96 votes)
    16 %
    I would be upset if SO watched it without me. : (18 votes)
    3 %
    Certain types of porn are off limits, but generally, I don't mind. : (32 votes)
    5 %
    We have never had this conversation. : (6 votes)
    1 %
    My SO isn't interested in porn. : (57 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    Doesnt bother me in the slightest! In fact, when we first met, he didn’t admit to watching it and I was a little freaked out by that!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I have no issue with it. It’s not my business to control what my partner does with his own body by himself.

    Post # 5
    Member
    298 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC

    I watch it. He watches it. We’ve watched it together. No big deal!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    On a rational level I know he does it, and it really doesn’t phase me that much.  Basically as long as he’s never picking the computer OVER me, I just don’t worry about it. (During a few slumps over the years this was an issue, but not a major one, and has always been solved with good communication). 

    On an irrational level, whenever I’m confronted with him watching it (i.e. he forgets to delete his downloads from the que, he accidentally leaves the folder open on the computer, etc) I am bothered by it because I feel like maybe “this time” he’s watching it because I’m not good enough for him anymore… But as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more secure with myself, and while I still have self esteem issues, I am able to get overit a lot quicker, mostly because I realize it’s completely irrational.

    And lastly– after MANY talks about how/why it bothers me and why he continues to watch it, I’ve come to accept that there are a few things that Darling Husband enjoys/has an interest in that I don’t, or they are things he wouldn’t want to do with/to me.  As a result of this disconnect in interests/styles I accept that when he needs a “fix” for something that falls into one of these categories, he turns to videos instead of another person– this is perfectly fine with me. 

    ETA: Part of our conversations and something that we just needed to accept as a couple is that I don’t “play solo” in that way… not ever.  Don’t have any reason not to, it’s just not my thing– this was another area we had to talk and sort our between us. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    5963 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    How do a I feel about Mr. 99 watching porn…probably the same way he feels about me watching those super sugary extra drippy romantic movies or reading those trashy novels….he doesn’t get it, but it seems to make me happy…so whatever!

    Post # 8
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m  fine with it! He doesn’t use porn instead of having sex with me so i really don’t mind. we also watch together sometimes so it helps that I enjoy it as we’ll. I think some women feel insecure because porn stars might have a “better body” but luckily the girls my Fiance likes to watch look just like me!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I would prefer for him to not watch porn, but he says it freaks him out anyways; so it works out perfectly.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    As long as he doesn’t do it so often he can’t function, then whatever. Though, he’s not really big on porn to begin with, so oh well. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    5963 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    …and I’d like to add that the solo lovin is a natural component to any sexual being’s life…it’s nothing to fret over

    Post # 12
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t care if he watches it, my only rule is not when I’m in the house! That way he can save his energy for me 😉

    Post # 13
    Member
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We are with each other 24/7 basically, so I KNOW he doesn’t watch porn! It doesn’t turn him on and he thinks it’s just a funny show of fake sexual entertainment and a waste of money, he would rather watch the “Lord of the Rings” 100X than watch one porn movie.

    Post # 14
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I wanted to pick more than one answer to this but what it comes down to IS I could care less As long as I get what I want when I want it. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4327 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    I’m realistic about it knowing he’s a man and he does it, but I don’t want to see any evidence of it. I don’t want to see any accidental browser history left open, I don’t want to see tissues in the waste basket, I don’t want to see a lotion bottle next to the computer…….. eww. Be discreet, and carry on! 

    Mostly I don’t want to see the history in the browser, because I don’t want to see the women he’s looking at. His fantasies are his own. I don’t need to know about them, unless it directly involves me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4327 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    @TheHotMrsG:  Yeah, what you said. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of our sex life, have at it. But porn should in no way become a substitute for sex.

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