Post # 1
I’m just going to vent here for a moment & if I am out of line PLEASE tell me. So my fiance is a great man, has a very kind heart and always wants to help others in need which is one of the reasons I love him. He would give the shirt off his back for somebody. So we are getting married in 20 days. We have been engaged for over a year and have been planning. His brother backed out of the wedding party and then all the sudden decided he wanted to be in the wedding party again which is great because my fiance felt sad when he backed out. We know he doesn’t have a lot of money so we gave him the free tux rental. My fiance has another friend lets call him “Sam”. Sam and my fiance’s brother are friends which is great. Sam is going to drive down to the wedding Saturday morning, the day of the wedding with my fiances brother. Ok cool.. Well I was talking to my fiances brother and he told me that my fiance told them he could stay with us the night of the wedding… What? I was completely blindesided by this. Thank God I found out now instead of the day of the wedding! Now what? Ive always been so worried about everybody else and now that its coming so soon, I need to focus on the wedding and not worry about other people. I know my fiance didn’t say that to piss me off but why would he say that? Thats our wedding night! Plus, I’ve only met his brother once and never met his friend Sam before. His brother is telling me how wasted they are going to be! I’m not comfortable with that!! I get it, its one night… but its our wedding night! How can I confront my fiance without saying what the hell were you thinking? Look, Sam and my fiance’s brother both have jobs, if they split a room it would be $60 each for one night.. HELP ME PLEASE! I feel like my fiance needs to be the person to tell them they can’t stay with us. I didn’t create this mess.. Am I wrong here? Thanks Bee’s!
Post # 2
Yeah no. The night before the wedding you need to rest. The wedding night itself uh.. well really. I think I would put him up elsewhere.
Post # 3
No, I would feel exactly the same! I’m sorry. 😞 Just try to calmly approach your Fiance about it and why you think it’s a better idea for them to stay at the hotel. That’s pretty bold of them to even think that would be ok.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t have wanted people staying with us on our wedding night either. Especially ones that plan on being wasted.
Take a deep breath and try to calmly talk to Fiance about what you heard and why you are concerned. Perhaps if you bring it up Fiance (although his kindness is probably why he said it was okay) he will understand why this is a problem and will help them find a hotel room.
Post # 5
Nah, they need to sleep somewhere else that night. Just tell fi that you heard __, and you really wanted a special night and it is making you uncomfortable
Post # 6
Oh yeah….. these two guys need to sleep elsewhere on your wedding night. Have your Fiance give them a list of local hotel/motels that they can stay at…. they can also call Uber to get them to that hotel if they are too drunk to drive afterward. I soooooo would not be budging on this one!
Post # 7
“FI you realize if your brother and friend stay with us you will not be grtting laid that night” should knock him back to reality 😉
Post # 8
my advice: slow down, but no, you’re not wrong. your Fiance probably just didn’t think this through.
it sounds like your generous guy was talking on the phone to his friend, heard him talk about his worry about expenses, and as a knee-jerk reaction said, “share our space!!”
it’s completely fine and reasonable for you to nix this, but i’d approach it very kindly and delicately. your Fiance, when he offered this, probably wasn’t really thinking “this is my wedding night”, “this is the first night i’ll spend with my wife”, “we’ve been working tirelessly on this romantic wedding and this will totally alter it”. i’m not usually one to say that something is a “guy thing”, but i think in this case he was just like, “oh, my friend needs help, how about this?” it’s even possible that he immediately regretted his offer and realized it was dumb, but now feels silly!
i’d just bring it up to him (once you’re not pissed off) in the frame that you want to have a special, intimate, romantic evening with him where you have no worries or responsibilities, and that you can’t really picture that with his friends crashing with you guys. offer up an alternative for them, and i’m sure he’ll be on board.
Post # 9
They are staying in your home, in a guest room or are you sharing your hotel room with them? Neither is good, but one is significantly worse……
Post # 10
Sharing a hotel room.. like small hotel room..
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
No matter what the sleeping arangements would be, that is just awkward! I don’t know what your Fiance was thinking! He needs to set them straight ASAP!
DH and I lived less than 15 minutes away from our wedding venue, but we still stayed in a hotel on our wedding night (as our Father-In-Law lives with us, my Maid/Matron of Honor was staying with us at the time, and one of the groomsmen AND DH’s cousin ended up drunkenly crashing at our home). We even stayed on a different floor as the few other guests who stayed in the same hotel and didn’t tell anyone our room number…we are constantly surrounded by people, so for this one sacred night we wanted our privacy!
Post # 12
I agree with you 100% and you are right he probably said they could because he’s all about helping others. I do need to slow down. Thank you!!!
Post # 13
Ha, that just makes this so much more mind-boggling.
No, they can get their own small hotel room.
I can’t believe that all three of them thought this was a good idea on your wedding night!
I would not even be okay with this on a random night!
Your Fiance needs to start thinking of you first and asking you before he offers up your space to others.
Post # 14
Yep, sometimes boys just don’t think things through. This sounds like something my Fiance would do haha. I think it is completely understandable that you wouldn’t want anybody staying with you the night before, or the night of the wedding (der), and I think any reasonable person would get that too!
Just take a deep breath and approch it calmly. Sit down with your Fi and say look I have no problem with your brother or friends staying with us normally, but I was really hoping to just spend our wedding night alone with you. It is really important to me that we are able to relax and just be alone together after the wedding, do you think we would be able to arrange for your brother and his friend to split a room somwhere? I’m sure he will understand when you explain it to him
Post # 15
My husband’s adult daughter stayed with us when she came for the wedding from Japan. We stayed at a hotel on the wedding night.