(Closed) Bee's… I need to calm down…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4846 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah no. The night before the wedding you need to rest. The wedding night itself uh.. well really. I think I would put him up elsewhere. 

Post # 3
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No, I would feel exactly the same! I’m sorry. 😞 Just try to calmly approach your Fiance about it and why you think it’s a better idea for them to stay at the hotel. That’s pretty bold of them to even think that would be ok.

Post # 4
Member
391 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t have wanted people staying with us on our wedding night either.  Especially ones that plan on being wasted.

Take a deep breath and try to calmly talk to Fiance about what you heard and why you are concerned.  Perhaps if you bring it up Fiance (although his kindness is probably why he said it was okay) he will understand why this is a problem and will help them find a hotel room.

Post # 5
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Nah, they need to sleep somewhere else that night. Just tell fi that you heard __, and you really wanted a special night and it is making you uncomfortable

Post # 6
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee

Oh yeah….. these two guys need to sleep elsewhere on your wedding night. Have your Fiance give them a list of local hotel/motels that they can stay at…. they can also call Uber to get them to that hotel if they are too drunk to drive afterward. I soooooo would not be budging on this one!

Post # 7
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

“FI you realize if your brother and friend stay with us you will not be grtting laid that night” should knock him back to reality 😉

Post # 8
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
mrsstewietobe :  my advice: slow down, but no, you’re not wrong. your Fiance probably just didn’t think this through. 

it sounds like your generous guy was talking on the phone to his friend, heard him talk about his worry about expenses, and as a knee-jerk reaction said, “share our space!!” 

it’s completely fine and reasonable for you to nix this, but i’d approach it very kindly and delicately. your Fiance, when he offered this, probably wasn’t really thinking “this is my wedding night”, “this is the first night i’ll spend with my wife”, “we’ve been working tirelessly on this romantic wedding and this will totally alter it”. i’m not usually one to say that something is a “guy thing”, but i think in this case he was just like, “oh, my friend needs help, how about this?” it’s even possible that he immediately regretted his offer and realized it was dumb, but now feels silly!

i’d just bring it up to him (once you’re not pissed off) in the frame that you want to have a special, intimate, romantic evening with him where you have no worries or responsibilities, and that you can’t really picture that with his friends crashing with you guys. offer up an alternative for them, and i’m sure he’ll be on board. 

Post # 9
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

They are staying in your home, in a guest room or are you sharing your hotel room with them? Neither is good, but one is significantly worse……

Post # 11
Member
4227 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

No matter what the sleeping arangements would be, that is just awkward! I don’t know what your Fiance was thinking! He needs to set them straight ASAP! 

DH and I lived less than 15 minutes away from our wedding venue, but we still stayed in a hotel on our wedding night (as our Father-In-Law lives with us, my Maid/Matron of Honor was staying with us at the time, and one of the groomsmen AND DH’s cousin ended up drunkenly crashing at our home). We even stayed on a different floor as the few other guests who stayed in the same hotel and didn’t tell anyone our room number…we are constantly surrounded by people, so for this one sacred night we wanted our privacy!

Post # 13
Member
5155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

View original reply
mrsstewietobe :  Ha, that just makes this so much more mind-boggling.

No, they can get their own small hotel room.

I can’t believe that all three of them thought this was a good idea on your wedding night!

I would not even be okay with this on a random night!

Your Fiance needs to start thinking of you first and asking you before he offers up your space to others.

Post # 14
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Yep, sometimes boys just don’t think things through. This sounds like something my Fiance would do haha. I think it is completely understandable that you wouldn’t want anybody staying with you the night before, or the night of the wedding (der), and I think any reasonable person would get that too!

Just take a deep breath and approch it calmly. Sit down with your Fi and say look I have no problem with your brother or friends staying with us normally, but I was really hoping to just spend our wedding night alone with you. It is really important to me that we are able to relax and just be alone together after the wedding, do you think we would be able to arrange for your brother and his friend to split a room somwhere? I’m sure he will understand when you explain it to him smile

Post # 15
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

My husband’s adult daughter stayed with us when she came for the wedding from Japan.  We stayed at a hotel on the wedding night.

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