(Closed) Bees I need your help!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t send an email like that.

Not sure how I’d feel about getting an email that said I didn’t make the cut of 100 people.  

If they are people he hasn’t talked to in years – why would he send an email just to tell them they are not invited to the wedding?

Post # 4
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s kind of rude to point out who isn’t invited… if she wants to send out a mass e-mail, she can send it out.  You shouldn’t have to tell a bunch of people you’ve never met why you aren’t inviting them to your wedding.

You could send out announcements after the wedding though. 

Post # 5
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@finallytheone:  

Honestly…I think that’s unnecessary! I wouldn’t want to receive an e mail out of the blue telling me i’m not invited to a wedding. Sorry, I know that’s not what you asked for and not at all helpful but I just feel that’s a difficult task to ask of you!

Post # 7
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, I would do this by snail mail rather than by email. And I would not approach this as an announcement of “why you are not invited to our wedding”. The most etiquette appropriate thing to do would be to send everyone who wasn’t invited a “marriage announcement” after the wedding. This basically announces your marriage and gives a new addres (if necessary). You could throw in an easy “We had a wonderful time at our wedding on ____ but were sorry that space limitations did not allow us to invite extended family.” Or something like that. If Future Mother-In-Law insists on something sent prior to the wedding you could send out an “engagement announcement” that would do the same thing. But either way, the focus should be on announcing your joy at your engagement/marriage and the explanation of why people weren’t invited should be a side note.

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly if people arent invited to my wedding I wouldnt send them anything about the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Add a clicky poll and let us all vote, then show her that all of the interwebs thinks this idea is rude.  We’ve got your back lady!

Post # 10
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry – but why do you have to do it just because it’s what your Future Mother-In-Law wants?   If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.

Post # 11
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Even after reading your latest post, I still think you shouldn’t send anything – it’s pretty rude to point out who isn’t invited.  If she keeps pressing, tell her you’re not going to send out this kind of email because it’s rude.  Or better yet, have your Fiance do this, since it’s his mother.  Stand your ground.  Also, you aren’t responsible for the people who already booked their flights – this is something Future Mother-In-Law should fix since she’s the one who invited them. 

Post # 12
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t send the email!  It’s her fault she told all these people who aren’t invited, so it’s her mess to fix.

 

Post # 14
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It really is rude to email people telling them they AREN’T invited to something.  Don’t send it.  If people who aren’t on the guest list ask about it, just tell them that you are trying to keep the guest list very small.

Post # 15
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I still think you shouldn’t send it, but it sounds fine.

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