(Closed) Bees I really need some advice. My husband may have messed thing up…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Easiest thing is to just go and act like nothing happened, but Darling Husband needs to understand that he should not have called SIL.

Post # 4
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well first off, I am sorry but I do feel your Darling Husband was out of line by going and talking to SIL about your feelings without your consent.  It’s wasn’t even like it’s his blood sister who he’s known since they were kids, but that’s done with now.  He was not right.

I’m sorry it’s come to this, I would suggest just going over in the morning like you planned so that the kids can play.  Was your SIL upset or angry about what she hears, or was she understand or shocked?

 

Post # 7
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Cash000: At least there is no animosity between you two then, that’s always good and means you should be able to move forward from this without too much problems.

As to things with your Darling Husband, perhaps just wait until tomorrow, or later when you’ve both managed to calm down a bit and think thoroughly about what you want to say next

Post # 8
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ugh. Uncomfortable. I would be pissed if my partner shared my gossip with his sister. If this happened to me, i would take a deep breath and call up the SIL, apologize for Darling Husband and explain myself. Just say you are really shy or that you haven’t felt close to her (yet). I would hope that my disclosure would help to build a relationship. I would say that i was very much looking forward to us spending time together over Christmas. 

Then i would give my Darling Husband the cold-shoulder for the night. What a tattletale! 

Post # 9
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think things will be fine. Just put it in a little box and tuck it away. Sleep on it tonight, then maybe talk to Darling Husband tomorrow about a game plan.

Post # 12
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Cash000: hey dude, fair enough. Only you know what the drama-meter is reading … 

I know i would feel so awkward having this situation dangling. 

Post # 13
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Mollytov: My sense wasn’t that he was sharing gossip. Instead, it seemed like because OP expressed that he wasn’t being supportive enough, he tried to stick up for her to SIL in a misguided attempt at chivalry.

First, I would explain to him that you appreciate his attempt at having your back, but ask that information like that be kept private in the future. Or, at least if he is planning on confronting someone on your behalf, to let you know he’s going to do it beforehand.

As for the SIL, I would just call her. Explain that you were frustrated and emotional when you vented to your husband, but there is some real hurt based on past actions. Get it out in the open and, as an adult who is family, I’m sure she’ll be able to at least hear your concerns, with both of you attempting to move past it. Especially if she truly wasn’t aware of how her actions were perceived and made you feel.

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