Post # 1
Do you wear your ring/rings to work?
Do you ever take it off when you do home visits or see patients in difficult economic/social situations?
I’ve had a few patients comment on my ring (all positive, and I was very flattered) – but then I worried that if they were noticing it, maybe it was too noticeable and maybe not appropriate for the patients I see and the situations some of them are in. Its not big or anything (see pic) – its a third ct and a family heirloom but I guess it looks kind of big on my tiny finger and its the only jewelry Im usually wearing so maybe it stands out too much.
Just curious how others who see similar populations feel about it…. I’m thinking of just wearing my band to work?
Post # 3
First off, it’s a beautiful ring!!
I work in a hospital and I don’t wear my rings to work for the hand hygiene factor- and the fact alcohol handwash would build up and clog my rings.
But I have to be very hands on with my patients and I’m constantly gloving up and washing my hands so that’s just me.
I have to confess, It does make me freak out a bit inside when I see people working in a hospital or clinic setting with big rings and long nails. But not judging!!!
Post # 4
@BartenderPlease: Hi! I do mental health work with adolescents. I will usually wear my ring, even on the unit floor (inpatient mental health facility) unless its been crazy. If there have been a lot of assaults (client assaults on staff) I will not wear it to work 🙂
Post # 5
I do therapy with the elderly mentally ill, and my ring never comes off. My clients and I have a pretty non-clinical relationship because of services we provide, so they’re mostly happy to see me finally getting hitched!! LOL.
These people are all low-income and some take home $85 a month after bills. It doesn’t bother them, but then again my ring isn’t a huge rock.
Post # 6
I work with homeless youth. I don’t dress up or down because of their economic situation. I’m just myself. If anything the reason I’d prefer not to wear it would be to dodge questions anout my personal life, but I have clear boundaries and just explain my personal biz isn’t gonna help us on xyz goal.
Post # 7
@sealevels: I’m pretty similar – I work in a residential care setting for homeless adolescents, and they’re thrilled I’m getting married, and they love seeing my ring! It probably helps that they’re younger, so they don’t entirely “get” ring prices – most of these kids wear bigger rings than me that they bought from Target for $20!
Of course, if there have been some disruptive incidents (e.g. if clients have been assaulting staff or stealing from them) then I won’t wear it. I take if off all the time when I wash my hands and put it in my pocket and it falls out every now and then if I get someone from my pocket. The kids always return it, but if we get a client with a history of stealing, then the ring stays at home.
Post # 8
I have a volunteer position preparing tax returns for very-low income people, and I wear a very small sapphire ring instead of my 1ct equivalent moissy.
Honestly, if I was older I’d probably wear my real ring, but I feel self-conscious being a just-graduated 23 year old (much younger than most of the clients) with what looks like a decent-sized rock. Granted, my ring is pretty frugal, but the clients aren’t going to know that.
Post # 9
I work in both hospital and clinical/community/home settings and do work with a fair proportion of people in low socioeconomic groups.
I’m not a big wearer of jewellery in general (except earrings) and didn’t wear any ring until I started wearing my eternity band. I’ll admit that yes, the style of ring chosen by us (mutually) was in part due to my concerns of not appearing “too” flashy. I just would never want to feel uncomfortable or awkward as a client looks down at my 1ct ring while I tell them where the best food banks are. I know I *shouldn’t* feel that way but I do. Having said that, I work with other women who frequently rock average or larger-than-average size rocks and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that either! It’s whatever you are personally comfortable with.
Post # 10
I do victim’s services in an under priviledged area. I sometimes don’t wear it for hygenic reasons if I’m riding around with the police/going to the hospital with assault victims etc., but if I’m in the office, or attending court for support I do.
I never really gave much thought to the size, especially since it’s nothing overly ostentatious (.6 carat solitaire-ish), and really if anything in my area if anything is going to set off a client that I’m a privileged person, it’ll be the fact that I’m white, not my jewelery, unfortunately… But I find a lot of my clients are victims of domestic violence, so sometimes being married gives me a little street cred that I know what a relationship is supposed to look like.
Post # 11
I work at a shelter. I don’t have my ring yet, but I do plan on wearing it to work. Although, I think my ring is going to be a black diamond, so I don’t know if people will look at it as being as expensive or flashy because they don’t look like standard diamonds. I think if you feel safe and comfortable wearing it, then you should wear it. It’s really up to you. Other staff at my work sport fairly big rocks, and I’ve never heard a client say anything about it. I think if you were wearing all sorts of flashy jewelry and fancy clothes, it might be a different story, but I think its a bit different when its engagement/wedding rings.
Post # 12
So are you saying that just because someone is of lower socio-economic status that they are going to steal your ring? That is a pretty bad bias to carry around with you especially if you work in a field that works with people of a lower socio-economic status.
Thieves steal- sometimes they are from low economic status, sometimes middle class and more often the people that will steal and steal the most are from higher economic status.
Please do not define one group of people by the actions of another. That is a form of discrimination and bigotry and you should maybe reconsider your field of work if you feel so threatened by these people.
Post # 13
j_jaye That’s not what they’re saying at all, I’m not sure how you got that impression. The discussion is about whether it is always approporiate to wear a luxury item in cases where some might potentially view it as ostentatious/flashy, and arguably insensitive (I’m not saying it IS these things, just what someone might percieve, so please no one be offended).
Post # 14
@j_jaye: I interpreted it more as “is it inappropriate” or “is it too excessive” in the “is it going to potentially put up a barrier between us” kind of way. in the way that it might be inappropriate to bring an ostentatious bag or show up to a home meeting in a ferrari
I have worked with lower-income people, and while i wasn’t engaged then, i didn’t wear jewelry because it was more hands on (didn’t want to lose it), and a lot of it was with little kids, and they can be grabby (ie. potentially break chains or choke me)
I don’t think it’s too much so long as the rest of your wardrobe is suitable. if someone comments and you feel like it’s a disapproving/distrustful judgment, you can always volunteer that it was so-and-so’s and you were lucky to have something in your (or his?) family to inherit.
Post # 15
@j_jaye: I think only one person even mentioned stealing, and it was in speciic reference to the consideration being dealing with people with a known history of stealing.
Post # 16
@MrsSnowMountain: Well if that is the case then you better not roll up into work in anything less than a clunker, wear thrift store clothes etc etc.
What you wear etc does not create a barrier towards people but your actions and reactions and opinions do. There is something wrong if your main concern is how they will perceive a ring on your finger or a piece of clothing. In fact if you are working with people of low socio-economic status then I am pretty sure that they have bigger worries on their minds.