Post # 1
I’ve been lurking the boards for ages– have considered joining the ‘waiting list’ but don’t want get too eager. I’m still quite young (24), and SO is 29.. but am coming up on 3 years now and starting to get a bit impatient
I understand that every relationship is different and that some people take longer to finish school than others, have financial goals they’d like to meet before getting engaged, etc… but I was just wondering, to all the bees that are in their twenties, how long you dated SO before he/she proposed?
Feel free to post what ages you were when you started dating & ages when you got engaged– would love to get some perspective 🙂
Also, what would be the longest you would’ve waited for a proposal?
Post # 2
Well, I’m 31 now, but we met when I was 23 and got engaged when I was 30.
I don’t know that there is a magic number I would wait for, but you need to know a person as a fully-functioning adult to understand what you might be getting into. I think the problem some relationships run into when you’ve been together since you were “kids” is that some people need to grow a bit. Often times high school and college doesn’t give an accurate representation of adulthood despite an individual’s maturity and/or circumstances.
Ideally, couples considering marriage should take the time to *really* get to know each other and talk about the tough things. I’m amazed by how many couples I know who have nothing in common, never communicate, and keep secrets from each other.
Post # 3
We started dating when I was 18 and he had just turned 19, and got engaged a few months back after 8 years together. We are both 27 now, and will be 28 when we get married.
I wouldn’t have walked without a proposal, but if we hadn’t gotten engaged I would have wanted to get some protections like medical power of attorney set up within the next couple of years.
Post # 4
We have been together for 2.5 years when we got engaged.
Post # 5
We started dating at 19 and were together 6 years and 8 months before he proposed (this June)
Post # 6
carolynne: Age started dating: 23 and 27. Age engaged: 24 and 28. I would not wait longer than two years without a proposal as I would expect my partner to demonstrate in action that they are serious in building a future with me.
If you are getting impatient with your partner, you really need to have a serious talk and discuss a timeline for engagement, for your own sanity. Waiting too long after feeling ready to be engaged can poison a relationship as a lot of resentment builds up, which cannot easily be forgotten. All the best!
Post # 7
We met and started dating at 19/18. We just got engaged in September about 6 weeks before our five year anniversary. I’m 24 and he’s 23.
I started getting interested in a proposal/marriage around our 4 year anniversary. About six months before our 5 year I made it clear I was ready and wanted to be engaged (he was actually already planning it haha) by our 5 year. I wouldn’t have walked then, but may have reassessed living together when our lease was up in 2016.
Post # 8
We met/started dated in the middle of my freshman year of college, then moved in together shortly after we got engaged, on our 2 year dating anniversary. He is 10 years older than me though. We were married a few days before my 21st birthday.
Post # 9
Started dating at age 19, he proposed when I was almost 24, married at age 25. Next year will be our 4th wedding anniversary and a decade together! If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to calm down and stop worrying about this arbitrary “need to be engaged by” date/idea in my head. no need to rush things at that stage.
Post # 10
We got together right before my 25th birthday (my birthday was our second date!) and he proposed a little over a month after my 28th birthday. We will be married the day before the big 3-0 for me.
Post # 11
Started dating when I was 22 and he was 24. Engaged at 27 and 29, married at 28 and 30. We were together slightly over 5 years when we got engaged, 6 when we got married.
Post # 12
We got engaged on our one year anniversary – but marriage from the start has been his idea. We both knew we wanted to be together forever really early on but he was the first to mention marriage in a realistic way, I guess I hadn’t ever really considered it oddly.
Post # 13
Started dating at the end of college at 22. Engaged right after our 3 year anniversary at 25.
The longest I would wait for a proposal is a hard one to answer. It would really depend what the circumstances for dragging it out were. If there was grad school or something where we were still studying, or lots of student debt, or personal/medical/family issues that need more attention than engagement and marriage, I’d be very patient. If I felt like the guy was just giving me excuses and the run around on why he wasn’t ready and just blowing off the value I put on marriage, I would be less likely to wait around. If that makes any sense lol
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2017 - Bahamas
Started dating at 23 and 22. Got engaged at 25 and 24.
Post # 15
We only dated seriously for a year before getting engaged though we were friends for couple years before then. We actually got married a year and four months after getting engaged. I was 26 when we got married.