(Closed) Bees in waiting- what I wish I would have known

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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RobbieAndJuliahaha :  no contradiction here: while I knew he would do it, I wanted him to do it sooner, so a brought it up a few times. Once he did it, I questioned the rush (not ownership of the decision) and need for some grand gesture (I would be ok with him just casually asking, but he went all out with his proposal). Sorry, English is not my first language, so sometimes my posts are not as clear as I’d like them to be.

And yes, imo after a few years together you should be able to tell if he is going to do it or not. If in doubt, run – what’s the point of waiting for a miracle?

Post # 32
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

Sorry but I totally disagree. Discussing things in a calm adult manner is ideal, instead of freaking out about it. But why should us women just shut up and let the man get whatever he wants, without even having to discuss it. 

I tried to explain it to my ex bf (he was stringing me along) by asking how he would feel if I said we wouldn’t be having sex, possibly ever again, and he was never allowed to ask, discuss it, or even mention it. In ten years or so I might be ready, or I might not be, until then it’s off the table forever and never mentioned again. Would any man stay in this relationship? 

Post # 34
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Was totally being pushy about this too! More like just kept bringing it up but he got the gist. I read a ton of online stuff that basically said the same thing – sit back and wait and he’ll do it in his own time. Once I finally backed off a few weeks Fiance finally asked and it was perfect! On the way home from the state park we got engaged at he said he’d noticed I’d stopped talking about a wedding and getting married so much and he really appreciated that I trusted him to do it in his own time. Paitience is good! Men don’t like being pressured or pushed, they are very independent creatures. The best thing to do it BACK OFF and LOVE THEM. Otherwise they’ll feel like you want a wedding, not them as a DH! As the Lord says, patience is key ladies. 🙂

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