- 8 years ago
*** I would like to point out that my SO is a wonderfully hard-working man, has great communication skills when we really need to talk and work things out, and this is just a vent built up because I’m being overly anal about the house lately due to holidays and I myself am normally the first person to postpone cleaning if necessary. I am no saint myself, and this is just meant to be a post to vent and not be taken too seriously, and a fun place for my fellow female or male bees to vent their current frustrations. ENJOY! ***
I’m having serious issues today trying not to be bitter. Here’s the deal, and I apologize, this gets long —
When SO and I moved in together almost 2 years ago it was settled that I would buy groceries, plan bill pays, cook, and clean, since I didn’t have the funds to support bills other than my own.
Flash forward to about a month and a half ago and he made a statement about how I had been going out on the weekends (I have weekends off, he doesn’t, and doesn’t want to go “out” anways), and the house would be messy whilst I was out. My response? “When I said that I would clean the house, I meant scrub, mop, dust, wash, etc. I didn’t realize that I would also be responsible for your every day messes too. I don’t mind doing the ‘cleaning’ but you are responsible for picking up your messes, just like I’m responsible for mine”. So we’ve re-evaluated this scenario. I am now to pay electric and water up to $200, and can ask for help in the event that I can’t afford more than the $200 that month. I still will be cleaning and providing groceries/toilettries/and all other taken for granted things, but now I will be contributing monetary to monthly expenses as well. I’m perfectly okay with this as I got to enjoy a roof over my head and untilities for free for almost 2 years, so my only statement was “okay, and you will help out with cleaning”.
So, the last three weeks, between holidays and visitors, and the fact that I have been super slacking for about a year in my housely duties, I’ve been super anal about cleaning, and I’m noticing I can’t stand certain things he does (puts dishes in the sink instead of the empty dishwasher, leaves shoes in the middle of the floor, doesn’t put his recycling in the recycling bin for days, doesn’t crush the cans when he does make it to the recycling bin, leaves things out, and generally doesn’t do much to pick up his mess after he’s made it). I’m also remembering why it was that I stopped being so anal about everything, and that’s because between being the keeper of the house, checkbook, and animals, while working 40 hours a week, AND going to school – I’ve become a little bitter Betty about Mr. Work 40 hours a week to come home and eat the food I bought, sit in the clean room I cleaned, put on his clean sweatpants I washed, watch tv/play xbox using the electricity I made sure was paid for on time, and veg out while I stress out watching him set his empty can of soda on the floor and then walk away to leave it there, PASSING the recycle bin (where he also doesn’t crush it before throwing it in there).
Anywho, my final WTF moment was when I found a dog on Petfinder that I wanted to learn more about and possibly adopt. It would be our second dog, so as always I sent him the link. His response (for the first time ever) “go get him!”. Well apparently after he said that he felt like he had made a mistake because he remembered how stressful it was at first when we got our dog — accidents in the house, shoes getting chewed –.
Okay – Sorry this got long – here is the “did that just come out of your mouth” statement. When I brought up the dog again, he said this : “I’ve been stressing out about getting a second dog. It just means more accidents to clean up and more shoes getting chewed, and it sounds like an awful big commitment”.
OMG! First of all… if he put up the gate to block the upstairs, and closed the basement door, confining the dog to the main floor when he leaves LIKE I DO and LIKE WE’VE DISCUSSED, she doesn’t have accidents. As for the shoes? Think about it, you come home from work — he cuts meat — take off your meat juice soaked shoes, LEAVE THEM in the MIDDLE of the living room, and instead of putting them up when you leave the house or taking them to your shoe rack in our room, you leave them out for her to chew. So basically… the real problem is that you don’t want to have responsibilities…
Not to mention, I’ve picked up 10 x’s more poop because it makes him gag, also have to deal with cat litter that he won’t touch, and the shoe mess? Who do you think cleans up the vomit from the floor when the leather disagrees with her stomach. So, who exactly is he worried about being stressed out by another dog? ME?!
I’m feeling a little underappreciated. We women, and some men, who handle all of the behind scene jobs that keep daily life at the home going, really get the short end of the stick. I’m really tired of doing all the thankless jobs alone — clean clothes, food in the fridge, tepee in the bathroom — and then when I want to add more responsibilities to the household, knowing that they’ll get shouldered on myself, and he says it sounds like a lot of work [for him], I can’t help but feel a little… IDK… robbed/jipped… underappreciated.
To all bees who have made it this far – Any others have rants? House related or otherwise? Let’s get them all out so we can enjoy the rest of the week 🙂
PS, I’m hoping to have a phone interview arranged with the foster parent of the dog in question soon 🙂