(Closed) Bees, it’s gripe day – what does SO/FI/DH do that makes you crazy? (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Haha, I could get pretty long myself with all the little things that add up to big fat gripes regarding the household chores. I think what drives me the absolute craziest though, is his lack of attention to our two year old. Don’t get me wrong, SO is an absolutely wonderful father, but it’s like he is incapable of multitasking. If I’m doing the dishes or the laundry, or on the computer paying bills or whatever, I’m still fully tuned in to what our son is doing, where he’s at exactly etc. Not SO. He can be in the same room with him,watching tv or something, right next to him, and totally not notice that he has a diaper that’s oozing out the sides and reeking up the room. Or won’t notice/hear that the LO has gotten into the bathroom, and is splashing in the toilet, or gotten into his big bubba’s room, and is playing/destroying with bubba’s toys.

Sigh. Maybe it’s a man thing?

Post # 5
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sometimes it feels like my SO goes out of his way to leave socks all over the house. He’ll kick off a pair under the coffee table in front of the tv, leave them in the bathroom, pile them in the corner near the bedroom door. His side of the bed is like a single sock graveyard. And he wonders why we always come up with extra socks when we do the laundry… lol. 

I also definitely relate to the not taking a can of soda to the recycling bin even though he’s going there anyway! Soda cans, glasses, plates all sit around no matter how many times he walks to the kitchen. I always say “since you’re going to the kitchen will you take that plate/can/glass with you?” He actually anticipated it last night and did it by himself! Success!

It’s only endearing because he’s willing to work on changing his habits. Every once in a while I have a “The house is a mess and I need to clean it NOW and you need to help me!” freak out, but he’s getting better at helping and I’m getting better at telling him exactly what I need him to do and that helps.

Seriously though, our brains are wired completely different when it comes to cleaning!

Post # 6
365 posts
Helper bee

Has no friends and never leaves his house…,

Post # 7
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When J gets so involved in video games.  I understand that he needs his “me” time and he works all day and goes to school, but I hate that it’s so hard to even talk to him sometimes to the point I am repeating myself and/or not receiving an answer.  IE:  last night he was playing.  Cool.  Gave me time to play around on here and finish up some job applications.  He turned around and asked me why I wasn’t talking.  He doesn’t understand how frustrating it is to try and talk to someone who is in another world.  So, we finally lie down together and I said something about him being so quiet.  He told me he was tired.  I was kind of annoyed at the fact that he always points out when I am quiet, but I point out that he is, he gets defensive.  Maybe I am reading into it wrong, but that’s pretty much the only thing that gets to me at times.  

Post # 8
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@inexplicablecomfort:  I thought I was the only one with the single sock graveyard!!! Hubs has about 50 pairs of the same type of sock, so they are everywhere, wherever he wants to drop them.  That is my biggest gripe – leaving clothes all over the house!  other than that, he is really good at most other stuff, after quite a few outbursts on my part, he has finally gotten the hint! and we usually reserve real cleaning for the weekend so we can knock it out together

Post # 9
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

He gets crumbs EVERYWHERE. And he puts his nasty, sweaty socks in the hamper all balled up so they stay damp and get so gross. Then I have to unball them when I put them in the wash, or they don’t get clean or dry properly. I’ve explained it to him a million times but he doesn’t fix this habit. I think I’m going on a sock-washing strike. He’ll eventually have no socks left to wear and learn his lesson.

Post # 10
1807 posts
Buzzing bee

I love him dearly, but his hobbies are so damn expensive! I mean it’s HIS money (until we get married) and he should be able to do whatever he wants with it..but he likes collecting guns and hunting which are EXPENSIVE. He always tells me before he makes a purchase but still. I guess I’m jealous because I don’t make as much as him and I’m not able to make expensive purchases towards hobbies. It also bothers me that the man can’t save money…well he could…he just doesn’t want to. Hm..maybe if you didn’t buy guns you could save some $$???

This is making him sound like a total deadbeat but he really isn’t. The man has no debt, minimal bills, and can do whatever he wants with his money. I’m just jealous 🙂

Post # 11
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My fiance must blow his nose like 50 times a day.  I know this because he throws the tissues into the wastebins in the bathrooms and NEVER makes any attempt to empty them.  He will continue to throw tissues in until they’re falling all over the floor and behind the toilet, etc.  It is so annoying.  I boycotted emptying the trash cans for a while hoping that the mess would bother him enough to empty it himself but he didn’t seem to care.

He also smokes way too much.  I try not to let it bother me  because I smoked for many years and was a smoker when we met.  I quit 2 years ago and haven’t had any urges to start up again.  I’m surprised my willpower has been so strong because he insists on chain smoking in my car and in the bathrooms in our house.  He is also one of those disrespectful smokers who will light up right outside the entrance/exit to a building and walk on crowded streets while smoking a cigarette so the smoke just blows all over strangers.  I find it very embarrassing.  He has a stressful job that requires excessive travel, long hours, and working with some of the biggest jerks on the planet, so there’s never a good time for him to quit.  I’m starting to worry that I’m going to marry someone who ends up dying young from a heart attack or lung cancer or something.

Post # 12
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Orders food or goes to any drive through place with the radio up loud.  lol.  Silly huh? 

Post # 13
222 posts
Helper bee

@sleepingbeauty88: Omg you sound like me =)

SO has a pretty demanding job sometimes, and other times it’s slack because he’s basically the boss and gets ADD at work from time to time. I knew he was a pig when he was in college, I couldn’t stand his room! Every surface including the floor was always COVERED with everything under the sun. Before we moved in together 1.5 years ago, I said to him “this will NOT be happening in our place”. Of course, what happens? MESS happens. I work full time also, go to school in the evenings and sometimes weekends, babysit for my sister occassionaly, etc. Him? He gets home from work and does jack, is either on his computer or xbox. I cann’t STAND when he whines “I feel like I have no time for myself”. I just wanna blow and say ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

The problems:
1. He leaves clothes EVERYWHERE. He takes them off in a trail when he enters the apartment or where ever he happened to be when he decided he didn’t want to wear them anymore. I’ve found more clothes under the desk, under the couch, IN the couch, under the kitchen table, all over the dang place. How hard is it to take them to the hamper!?!?!? “But the floor is a shelf” he says with a smile. I’d like to beat him with the laundry basket when he does that!
2. DISHES. We don’t have a dishwasher, but he will leave them on his desk, in the living room, all over the kitchen for AGES.
3. He leaves garbage everywhere. His one job in the beginning was the take out the kitchen trash and his desk trash can. I cannot tell you how many times it is completely overflowing before I have to finally say something. One time he told me “when the trash is overflowing, why can’t you at least tie it up?” and I was so utterly amazed he had the guts to say that I said “because the garbage has always been your job, that would be me doing your job” (cue “why can’t you just help me out”). That part of it has since been handled by me giving in, tying it up, and putting it infront of the door. However, he still leaves trash freaking everywhere. My biggest annoyance is when he will put a can of pop into a glass, then put the EMPTY can on the counter….Ladies….the counter is directly above the trash can (we can’t recycle at our complex, it sucks).

I have anxiety issues and he darn well knows clutter makes me anxious. I had started doing a lot of things myself just to ease my anxiety, because asking him was such a chore most of the time. Most of the time, it works to tell him Friday “I would appreciate if you would ______________________ before you go to bed Sunday.” I will remind him Saturday night if it’s still not done. Most of the time, he’ll do it Sunday night, but hey it’s done. Sometimes it’s Monday and I nicely remind him of my request. I have found that giving them a large time frame, like a child, gets it done instead of “right now!!”. All the same, it’s too hard to get these lazy beasts off their butts!!!!!! (On a side note, we do go grocery shopping and do laundry together).

Post # 14
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

There are only 2 things that Fiance does that make me crazy…

1. While he may be listening, he won’t reply when I ask him a question. I get annoyed and ask it again and again and again. Then he gets pissed because I didn’t give him long enough to answer. HELLO! It takes like 2 seconds to answer “What do you want for dinner?”. If you don’t know, say “I don’t know”. Don’t just ignore me!!

2. Fiance can’t aim for shit. Thankfully we each have our own bathroom and I rarely even go in his but the fact that he is so careless when “draining the hose” is super frustrating!! I use to clean his bathroom but I put my foot down about a year ago and now I make him do it. Unfortunately, his is the hallway bathroom that our guests use so if we have a quick drop by, I normally have to go in and wipe up the puddle. It’s disgusting! 

Post # 15
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012


You definitely are not alone! The sock graveyard drives me crazy. I usually just make “close enough” pairs when I can.

Oh the clothes… by the end of the week he usually has three or four work shirts, a sweatshirt and even a jacket or tie piled up on each of our dining room chairs. And the shoes in the foyer… I swear, sometimes I think wears more different pairs of shoes in a week than I do!

We do the big weekend cleaning together, too. Make a to-do list, turn on some music and just knock it out. He tries not to admit it, but I know he likes the way the house looks when it’s clean. I can feel my neatness rubbing off on him… bwahahaha!

Post # 16
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

He doesn’t believe he snores.  And let me tell you his snores sound like monkey being slaughtered after being forced to eat elephants.

I’m gonna record him one day so he can hear the monstrosity coming out of this nostrils.  

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