- 4 years ago
I am from Italy. I was born there and up until I was around 10, I lived there. Most of my family lives there and though I have lived in Canada for roughly 10 years which were my growing up into the person I am now years, my person still feels like a European and I miss my country. My family. I have met my FI here, 8 years ago, and he is from here. His family is here. Since the very beginning he knew that I would eventually want to move back – not necessarily forever – but for a couple of years. To be close to my family as well. That time has come where my siblings are having children, my mother is getting older, I just miss them terribly and on the other hand, we see inlaws every week, couple of times a week.
I think I am allowed to have that too, being able to spend time with my family. The problem is, my inlaws don’t like me. My MIL sees me, it seems, as the woman that took her son (she has 2). She is waiting for me to dump him basically. FI and I have talked about moving, but his reponse has troubled me and I am afraid of doing the move.
We have a baby by the way. I asked him, when would you be ok to move over there ? He said in january of next year. I thought wow, that’s quick, but good ! Then I told him, it is very quick to say so soon, are you sure you would be ok moving with baby and I ? Do you like Italy, and do you think you can be happy there ? All he answered was, I know you are unhappy here, so if you can be happy there and I can get a job, it’ll do.
I don’t want him to move because ‘it’ll do’ !!! I don’t know what to do. I feel if we move, our couple might be in danger. From the pressure of his family, from him moving for me, being unhappy there? and on the other hand I’m really thinking I have the right to spend time with my family as well, I have not spent a single holiday with them ever sicne I was with FI, because we always go to his family’s house (we could have easily decided to take a plane and go to mine) but they are overbearing and his mom gets upset when we do go on summer vacations over there for 2 weeks. Another example, about 5 years ago we were living in a city 2 hours from her (the city we met in), she actually called him crying everynight saying she needed him to come home (home is where we live now, because he gave in to her and went home to her house, I followed him a year later in the same city. He was 22 at the time, we were not engaged, and were not living together yet but still I find it so overbearing!!!)
Any advice appreciated…