(Closed) Bees posting about wedding budget

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Which bees are you referring to? the hive? or the actual guest bloggers?

I think if someone wants to share, they share. Scattered across the boards, posters have posted what their bands cost, what they are spending on the caterer or the dj/band. So I don’t know if you are asking for a cost breakdown all in one post and who you would want to see the price(s) from? 

Post # 4
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

I will be honest — I don’t feel comfortable sharing how much we spent on our wedding, because money is such a personal thing to me. I hope that readers can still gain inspiration and ideas from our wedding without knowing exactly how much it cost us.  I have mentioned how much certain things have cost — my dress, our invitations, etc. — but I don’t feel comfortable doing a whole budget post.

Many brave bees have shared their budgets, though. There are links to a few here:

http://wiki.weddingbee.com/Budget

Post # 5
Bee
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2008 - Oceanfront lawn and tent

Unfortunately, I’m with Cupcake.  I’ve gotten quite a few emails/private messages asking for cost details on certain items and I’m more than happy to give specifics in those situations.  But I’m just not comfortable sharing a big breakdown of cost so publicly- I’m sorry!

Post # 6
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I totally feel you guys and if I were the Bee, I don’t know if I would post my budget either.  But, I have to say, I do appreciate those who post their budgets because then I’m like WOW, they sure know how to spend their money well!  For my wedding, I had spent the money differently because I think so many more personal touches could have been done.  Thank you all for the inspiration either way!

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Thre is no need to get personal and disclose your private personal expenses.  This question of wedding expenses is important with the current recession.  It has been adressed ad nauseum over the web and the consensus is that the average wedding in the USA cost about 30K in 2007, about 25K in 2008, and is projected to cost about 20K in 2009.  A breakdown of average costs is listed here.

Post # 8
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I fully understand why Bees wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing their full wedding budget. I know my friends have no problem sharing "my band cost this or my photog cost this." But we never say my budget is X.

In that vein of thought, I have a question for the hive: why is there such a negative feeling attached to being honest about money? Especially how much you spend on your wedding. I feel there’s a lot of judgment attached to spending "too much" versus lots of praise for spending a little. Why isn’t there more of an understanding everyone comes from different backgrounds, with different expectations, budgets, family size, different costs in their region etc.

Regardless of what you spend, I really appreciate hearing from those that are willing to be honest.I think it is helpful to other brides. But i’ll confess I’m still afraid to say my budget in fear of being judged…

 

Post # 9
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am always grateful when the Bees break down their wedding costs, and I really do think it can be helpful to others. I can fully understand why some do not want to share, though. Personally, I don’t mind saying I probably spent around X amount of $ for everything, but I certainly do not want to break it down, simply for the fear of having heart palpitations. I stressed enough about money during the planning process…I just want to move on without having to re-live it! I think my situation was very much reflected in what Mrs. Cherry Pie went through, so I felt so much better reading her post.

Post # 10
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@ sarsk624

I agree with you as well. I feel like the "in" thing to do now is to have a budget wedding. Like it’s so cool to have a wedding under 5K and it’s frowned upon to have anything more than that. But there are SO many different circumstances.

Some brides have small families that all live in the same town. Some brides have huge families, that in and of itself plays a huge part in the wedding expensve. We are inviting close to 200 and that is ONLY aunts, uncles and first cousins. A couple of close friends and coworkers.  I have a huge family and I’m the 2nd youngest on my side so almost all first cousins are married with at least 2 kids apiece. The head count really starts to add up.

And the biggest thing I notice that contributes to a wedding under 5K are those brides lucky enough to have photographers, bakers, DJs etc in their circle. Unfortunately alot of us aren’t. Trust me if I knew some we would ask them!

Anyway, I think the important thing is that the couples do not get themselves into debt because of the wedding. But if they have the finances to do so and that’s how they wish to spend it so be it.

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t mind showing what I actually spent on everything to an approximate. Just rounded off. I wouldn’t nickle and dime everyone. I know I’m being savvy and frugal and not wasting my money, but if someone doesnt’ like that I splurged on my photographer, well, it’s not their money. Plus, it’s OUR money, not our parents, so if I could save someone else some money by showing them how I managed to spend (for example) only $200 on all our flowers and bouquets, then no problem! It’s not like I really know any of you anyways .

I know it’s a private issue, but it wouldn’t really bother me. I don’t think i’d have that many categories anyways since I forgoed a lot of traditional wedding things like the videographer, etc, and it’d literally be "reception plus ceremony = $X" since our venue lumped it all together. 

 I’m already keeping a spreadsheet of what I spend so I know what we spent. Sometimes i buy something here and there out of my spreadsheet, but overall, I think I have a good idea within a few hundred bucks what it’s costing us. 

Post # 12
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

I know when I posted about my budget on the bee, I got a comment about how it was such a waste and that they hoped I would still be married in 5 years.  Even though those comments are generally not the norm, the threat of them is enough to keep most people from posting about their budgets.

It is a shame that there is a stigma for spending a significant or even moderate amount on your wedding.  But it all ties back to the disappointing notion that still in this day and age of the empowered and enlightened woman, we continue to knock each other down.

 

Post # 13
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

totally concur with sars, gerbera, and corn. it seems like there’s a prevailing notion of "why are you spending so much money on one day? what a waste!" and, even if it’s just an undercurrent, i find it hurtful enough not to want to share our budget with anybody. i don’t blame any bees that feel the same way, although i’m grateful to the ones that do share cost breakdowns.

Post # 14
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Our budget is right at $5K. We’ve had several things come in under budget and some things we didn’t plan on. The only thing not included in that figure is my engagement ring-the rest is in there-food, my dress, wedding bands, church fees, rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, etc.

Post # 15
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

 I cringe when I watch those super expensive wedding shows (because it is not for me and it seems wasteful) 

 But one thing to remember that it is money being spent here in the US. It is creating jobs and incomes for families. If people want to guilt you out for spending your money how you want it, keep that in mind. I never thought I’d spend what it looks like I’m spending (over 30,000) and I’m keeping it simple. I live in an expensive area and we’ve invited about 190.

While you shouldn’t send yourself into crazy debt, people buy more expensive cars all the time when a hyundai still gets you where your going the same way. People rarely make the same comments about that.  

I also don’t have friends to ask to do things. Plus I don’t feel comfortable as I can afford to pay.  

Post # 16
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Also check the posts on Real Budgets that Mrs. Bee features every once in a while.  Often, the bios of the week have budget information as well. 

Besides general privacy, there can definitely be connotations with a budget that is considered to be too extravagant or too cheap (by what standards?!).  You put yourself under some pressure and open yourself up to a lot of criticism by posting something as personal as a wedding budget.

I personally don’t mind sharing mine with the blogging world/Weddingbee, but I would be horrified if any of my friends/family/guests found out how much we’re spending.  That’s just too personal of information!

 

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