(Closed) Bees–take it from me. Wait to ask your Bridesmaids!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Very good advice.

Some of us are engaged for long periods of time… lots of time for drama to happen.

All the best for your weddinng.

Post # 4
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@CelticBeachBride:  This is exactly what happened with my ex-best friend. She didn’t show up for anything wedding related for me (BM dress shopping, bridal party, etc) and complained about whatever we had planned. She ended up dropping out of the wedding via FB instead of calling me about it 4 months before the wedding. I was always there for her but she was never there for me. The only difference in our story was I’ve known her since I was 12 and I am now 26. Its sad that it took me this long to see how really self-centered she was and she cared nothing about me… I actually had 2 more BMs drop out but their stories are a bit different but the end result is all the same. They weren’t real friends to begin with.


Post # 5
10 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CelticBeachBride:  AGREED. 150% sorry you had to go through that. i feel like i couldve written this exact thing.

Post # 6
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CelticBeachBride:  + 100!

Same thing happened to me with my friend/cousin of 25 years. 

It took me being engaged for her to realize that would be a great time to throw all her commitment issues into the air, wreck havoc on my life and blame it all on me.


Post # 7
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@CelticBeachBride:  My sister just called tonight to drop out of the wedding (not for monitary reasons or anything like that just because we didnt want her daughter to be flower girl) and we asked her 6 months ago and have 3.5 months to go so I have to say it is cathartic to hear someone else has gone through similar ickyness 

Post # 8
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

I haven’t done anything formal for my girls, but I’ve definitely lost a friend who was one that wouldn’t have to ask if she were in the wedding…she’s the girl who introduced my Fiance and I, and now, he doesn’t even want her at the wedding.

Solid advice – and while there has been very little scathing (she doesn’t have the guts for that) I know what you mean about being just done. There is only so much you can do for one person.

I’m sorry that you’ve lost a friend, but hopeful that your wedding planning (and your life) will be much more peaceful without her.

Post # 9
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I had this exact same thing happen to me…almost. A former best friend from high school posted on my FB time line for all the wordl to see: “I’m your best friend and I really want to be in your wedding. Is that ok?” 

We haven’t hung out together in years and I haven’t spoke to her in over a year. She got married 5 years ago and invited no one. I had an idea of a bridal party, but at this point, I am only having my Maid/Matron of Honor and thats it! 

Post # 10
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@CelticBeachBride:   Good advice! Similar situation right now.  For years I always knew my best friend would be in my wedding, but in the last year we started to drift apart. We still did everything together but I could feel the difference. We weren’t close. Long story short, there was some family drama when I started dating my sweetie. It didn’t have hardly anything to do with us at all. It cause a slight family split, my best friend side against me. We haven’t spoken since. She didn’t even try to Be my friend, she stop trying. I haven’t even seen her in awhile. My sweetie is officially proposing when I see him at Thanksgiving (horrible at secrets) but we have wedding date picked me out anyways. Lol 

I want her still in the wedding, but cause she been non-supportive. I decided she won’t be my Maid/Matron of Honor, but a bridesmaid. She still on the pending side though. We are waiting to see how she will react To the Annoucements of the engagement. 

Post # 11
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


I lost a bridesmaid and a friend two months before my wedding.

To this day, I am still frazzled by the turn of events.  I was friends with this person for 15 years……

My only wish was that I realized her true colors before I started planning my wedding……

Post # 12
166 posts
Blushing bee

Wow.  Now there is some sage advice in this piece.  I really love that friendly bridesmaid who said the oceans/puddles quip.  It’s a goodie.

Personally, I would have nipped it in the bud right off.  It would have been a “sorry, it’s just family” line coming out of my mouth.

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