(Closed) bees that have a way with words, please help me with the email!!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Southern Plantation House

Sorry… in my head, there’s not really an eloquent way. If I got an email like that I would be pretty offended. Invite who you want to invite, and have personal conversations with everyone else. To find out through email is pretty insulting.

Post # 3
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I wouldn’t put it in writing. Just hand deliever and say “please keep in mind we could not invite the whole office”

Post # 4
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

There is neither a polite nor eloquent way to do what you are asking for assistance with. Ask each person individually to be discreet. In an office of that size I assume a fair amount of gossip will occur anyway so you may want to be prepared for that.

Post # 5
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m not sure email is the best way to do this, but if you have to I’d write something like

Hi Everyone,

I’m so excited to share with everyone that Mr. Big and I have finally nailed down the guest list. I’m happy to have been able to include all of you, and I so look forward to seeing all of you on May 1, 2016. However, as you can understand the budget has constrained us and we haven’t been able to invite everyone we wanted to. Since we were forced to leave a few people here in the office off the list, I would be grateful if we could keep the wedding talk here in the office to an absolute minimum. I’m so grateful for all  of my work relationships here and I wouldn’t want to offend anyone by discussing the wedding when we aren’t able to extend them an invitation. I really appreciate your discretion and look forward to seeing all of you in May,



Post # 6
636 posts
Busy bee

waitingtobeemrsS:  She’s not going to email the NOT-invited co-workers, so I’m not sure what you would be offended to ‘find out through email’ here. 


That said I don’t think I’d put any of it in writing, but I would mention it to the invited co-workers in person. 

Post # 7
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

The eloquent way, I agree, is by not doing it at all. Let those invited know that not all co workers were invited by word of mouth. 

Post # 8
88 posts
Worker bee

I agree, don’t write an email.  The minute you hit send, it’s no longer yours and therefore can be forwarded at will. 

Post # 9
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

daniellemc:  I would inform my co-workers in person. 

Post # 10
1384 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

daniellemc:  I agree with the other PP’s. I would actually tell my other colleagues who aren’t being invited that unfortunately you can’t accommodate everyone as your venue has a max cap. or your funds are limited and that you wish you could have everyone there with you on your special day and that you hope they understand. Maybe go out for drinks to celebrate with them after the wedding. You can’t please everyone. 

Post # 11
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would just not bring it up in the office, ever, and, if another coworker does bring it up, say something quietly to him/her like “I feel bad talking about it here since we weren’t able to invite everyone!” They will get the hint.

Post # 12
1123 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve worked at the same place for 8 years and would also consider writing an email to those I ‘have’ invited telling them to be discreet when discussing the wedding. I think the draft email by jily:  sounds good. Since I know my colleagues very well I would probably use a slightly more colloquial tone when writing it though.

Post # 14
3036 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

daniellemc:  Maybe the group could go out for lunch together and you could invite them then?

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