Post # 1
Hi bees. I need some help. I’m usually the person everyone goes to when they need something eloquently written, but this time I need a little help! I will be inviting 7 out of 25 of my coworkers to my wedding. I would like to write them an email lettering them know that not everyone was invited. This way I don’t have A sarong to B “are you going to Danielle’s wedding?” But I didn’t invite B. Basically I want to say “hey coworkers I’m inviting the 7 of you to my wedding but please shut up about it to eneryone else ” only I want it to sound not so blunt. Can anyone help me with that?
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2015 - Southern Plantation House
Sorry… in my head, there’s not really an eloquent way. If I got an email like that I would be pretty offended. Invite who you want to invite, and have personal conversations with everyone else. To find out through email is pretty insulting.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t put it in writing. Just hand deliever and say “please keep in mind we could not invite the whole office”
Post # 4
There is neither a polite nor eloquent way to do what you are asking for assistance with. Ask each person individually to be discreet. In an office of that size I assume a fair amount of gossip will occur anyway so you may want to be prepared for that.
Post # 5
I’m not sure email is the best way to do this, but if you have to I’d write something like
I’m so excited to share with everyone that Mr. Big and I have finally nailed down the guest list. I’m happy to have been able to include all of you, and I so look forward to seeing all of you on May 1, 2016. However, as you can understand the budget has constrained us and we haven’t been able to invite everyone we wanted to. Since we were forced to leave a few people here in the office off the list, I would be grateful if we could keep the wedding talk here in the office to an absolute minimum. I’m so grateful for all of my work relationships here and I wouldn’t want to offend anyone by discussing the wedding when we aren’t able to extend them an invitation. I really appreciate your discretion and look forward to seeing all of you in May,
Post # 6
waitingtobeemrsS: She’s not going to email the NOT-invited co-workers, so I’m not sure what you would be offended to ‘find out through email’ here.
That said I don’t think I’d put any of it in writing, but I would mention it to the invited co-workers in person.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
The eloquent way, I agree, is by not doing it at all. Let those invited know that not all co workers were invited by word of mouth.
Post # 8
I agree, don’t write an email. The minute you hit send, it’s no longer yours and therefore can be forwarded at will.
Post # 9
daniellemc: I would inform my co-workers in person.
Post # 10
daniellemc: I agree with the other PP’s. I would actually tell my other colleagues who aren’t being invited that unfortunately you can’t accommodate everyone as your venue has a max cap. or your funds are limited and that you wish you could have everyone there with you on your special day and that you hope they understand. Maybe go out for drinks to celebrate with them after the wedding. You can’t please everyone.
Post # 11
I would just not bring it up in the office, ever, and, if another coworker does bring it up, say something quietly to him/her like “I feel bad talking about it here since we weren’t able to invite everyone!” They will get the hint.
Post # 12
I’ve worked at the same place for 8 years and would also consider writing an email to those I ‘have’ invited telling them to be discreet when discussing the wedding. I think the draft email by jily: sounds good. Since I know my colleagues very well I would probably use a slightly more colloquial tone when writing it though.
Post # 13
thank you for your help everyone. I dont plan on telling people that are not invited, and certanly not by email!!! I’ve worked here for 5 years and i’m just not as close with my other coworkers as i am with those 7 people. We all sit very close so i wasn’t too thrilled with saying it out loud in case someone overhears. That’s why the email was a better option for me. Perhaps if i corner then individually in the kitchen i can explain how i feel and how they are invited but i couldn’t invite others unfortunately. If financially i could include them all i would. But our guest list is already far over what we planned on. Also, sorry for all the funny words in my post, I was using my phone and i guess it auto corrected a few words.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
daniellemc: Maybe the group could go out for lunch together and you could invite them then?