Post # 1
I feel like ever since FH and I moved in together, we’ve been expected to enter into a “honeymoon” phase.
FH is gone from about 7 am to 1 pm, home for a bit, then gone again from 5 pm until 10 pm almost every day. Before we moved in together, we had 2.5 designated days (Thursday and Friday and part of Saturday) for each other, but when we moved in together, FH changed his work schedule around to add back Thursday and he goes into work much earlier on Saturday. We both figured that by this time I’d be employed too and wouldn’t have to spend so much time sitting around the house.
I’m not exactly bothered by it because I grew quite fond of living by myself. And I get a lot of stuff done while FH is gone.
Part of me says that this is a good thing, not spending too much time together so early on because we both really, really value our own personal space and time. But I’ve had other couples mention that we don’t spend enough quality time together and “that’s a bad sign”. Personally, my relationship is none of their business and what works for them doesn’t work for everyone, but it did get me to thinking.
I know that things will change when he graduates and when I start working, but I can’t help but think that we’re somehow expected to be stuck up under each other 24/7 since this living together thing is pretty new.
So Bees, when you first started living together, how much time did you spend with each other?
Post # 3
We both work 8-5 (sometimes til 6) monday-saturday then by the time we get home its about 6 or 7. Then we make dinner, eat, let the dogs out. and by that time its around 9 or 10. we usually have an hour for us. So Sundays are our only day together.
Post # 4
I honestly don’t remember how much time we spent together when we first started living together. Right now we don’t see each other Monday through Friday because I work 7am to 4pm and he works 4pm to 12am.
Post # 5
We work during the day, but we spend the weekday evenings together, and the weekends (although sometimes he will go do something with his friends and vice versa).
Post # 6
He’s up at 5:30 and out the door by 6 am. He kisses me goodbye. I get up at 7. I’m home at 6 pm. We work out and watch TV until around 9:30 when he goes to bed.
So we see each other for about 4 hours on weekdays. More on weekends.
Post # 7
We’re together literally almost all day. The only consistent times we are “apart” is when I wake up early to go to the gym and my Darling Husband stays up late to play video games lol. We get ready together, shower together (yes almost everyday lol, it’s just faster!!), drive to work together, work together, come home together and hang out together in the evening. Sure there are days when he goes off with his friends and I go off with mine, but a huge chunk of our lives are spent side by side. It’s been like this since we moved in together 2 years ago. It seems to work for us.
Post # 8
I thought we were pretty normal… Sure, it would be nice to see each other a bit more, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
It’s mainly one couple that’s been telling me that FH and I don’t spend enough time together, and they are our neighbors. They get to spend so much time together because neither of them work and his parents pay for everything. Obviously everyone else is in the same situation 😐
Post # 9
When we first started living together we both worked crappy retail jobs with no set schedule so our quality time varied. Some weeks we’d have the same days off and others we wouldn’t. The weeks that we had similar schedules, we’d pretty much spend all of our time off together. Those that we didn’t, nights were really the only time that we’d see each other. Back then, we lived in a MAJOR party house so we’d have people over pretty much constantly. Even if we were both home, there were plenty of distractions so we were rarely joined at the hip. After we moved out and got our own place (before we had a roommate) and “real jobs” with nights and weekends off, we spent all of that time together. For the last 5 years we’ve worked for the same company so we’re together even more considering we have an hour commute each way and we normally have lunch together. It’s a good thing we like each other.
Post # 10
We live and work together, so it’s 24/7 for us.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Fiance and I spend all of our time together… with the exception of work (we are on the same schedule; wake up at the same time, typically get home at the same time) and I don’t know, dr’s appointments or when Fiance needs to go to the junk yard and get parts for his car, stuff like that. Otherwise, we eat dinner together, watch tv/movies together, spend all weekend together hang out with friends together… been living together for a year and not sick of it yet, in fact we decided to get married ha 🙂 It just depends on the couple and works for you.
Post # 12
FH still gets two days off a week but those vary, so we still have a date night and time to do things together. He’s only got one year left of school so he’ll be on a regular work schedule and we’ll get more time in the day. I think it’s going to work out better for us that way so we have time to transition to being around each other a lot.
Post # 13
i would love to have your neighbors’ lives … no work and free housing… sold!
i would say we spend most of our non-work time together. we both work 9-5, he leaves about 20 minutes before me since he works a little further into the city. we meet up after work and take the train home together, make dinner and hang out. then ill go to the gym while he does boy things on his own.
usually 1 or 2 nights a week one or both of us will do things with our own friends for a while after work.
most weekends we are together the majority of the time. even when we didnt live together, we were spending that much time together, so i dont think we are in a honeymoon phase at all… this is just us and it works!
ETA: i am taking pre-req classes for my master’s program and sometimes i go to the library to do work, but usually we just sit together and i do it while he reads/watches tv.
Post # 14
We both work full-time days and we’re usually both home by 5pm. So we spend 5-pm until bedtime together every day, unless one of our has an appointment or the random night out with a friend. I like it this way 🙂
Post # 15
@GroovyHippieChick: Yep we are similar.
We see each other in the morning for about 15mins, and then we are usually both home by 6:30PM – cook & eat dinner, clean, and watch television is our typical routine; unless we have plans with friends or a happy hour.
Post # 16
@SouthernGirl: I wouldn’t worry too much about it. You’re right, what works for other couple’s doesn’t always work for other’s.
I’ve heard of couple’s that spend 100% of their free time together; meeting up for lunch everyday, spending every evening together, etc and it works for them! For Darling Husband and I, we just couldn’t do that. Even though we *obviously* enjoy each other’s company and spending time together, we do enjoy an evening here and there without each other. I will go away on weekends without him, and even trips (just went away to Vancouver to visit family for 5 days without him) and vice versa.
You and your FH will find your groove with each other and will figure out what’s an appropriate amount of time to spend together for the two of you.