Bees that work 55+ hours per week- how to you keep your house running?

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 31
Member
1579 posts
Bumble bee

I hire someone else. Women who balance everything well can usually afford to outsource tasks. It’s hard otherwise. 

Post # 32
Member
3095 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

When my husband and I were both working a lot of hours, we had 2 cleaning ladies who came every 3 weeks. They did the big jobs—the deep cleaning. We also had a robotic vacuum cleaner. It’s very helpful if you have cats!! 

 

Post # 34
Member
9217 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
otterbee :  if it feels overwhelming focus on creating small habits slowly. Get yourself an app (or a notebook) and set one goal for every 30 days. Once each new task is a habit it won’t feel like a big deal and then add from there. Things like making the bed each morning, making sure the kitchen sink is empty and clean each night, wiping out the bathroom sink each night after you brush your teeth, all take a few minutes of extra oomph each day, but quickly become habits and make a big difference in the daily state of the house. Just don’t try and do it all at once and frustrate yourself! 

Post # 35
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Research shows the people working 40+ hours have unhealthy eating habits and tend to eat more junk food. You are not lazy, you are human. What has happened to society if people question their worth because they can’t keep up with chores while working 55+ hours a week. Chores are work too, it’s just unpaid work. You are not lazy, you are enough, you’re doing a great job. Do what you can and don’t beat yourself up about what can’t get done.

Post # 36
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Roomba runs daily for vacumming. Yard guy comes once a week. The rest I clean as I go, a little bit every day. I go to bed with no clutter out or it builds quickly. 

Post # 37
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Get a cleaner. It is so worth it to get your weekends back. I would in your situation 

Post # 39
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

So much good advice on this thread! I have worked many 50 or 60 hour weeks. During those weeks I’ve found it helpful to order groceries online while at work. My favorite store charges $5 but places like Walmart offer it for free if you spend over $30. Maybe it’s possible for your husband to run through the pickup line once a week after work or clinicals? I also suggest Timetree as a scheduling app to help keep life “feeling” more organized even if it’s not. It’s been life changing for us. I’ve also found it helpful to put clothes in the washing machine when I go to bed at 2am and have my husband put everything in the dryer when he gets home at 7am. It’s also helpful to me to not include items in the washing machine that can’t be dried. That way my husband doesn’t have to remember what can’t be washed. I’ve found that washing light and dark clothes together is better than not washing clothes at all. Simplify where you can. If you only use one or two water bottle then you are less likely to end up with 5 dirty ones on the counter. I’ve also found it helpful on particularly busy weeks to prep what I can but to be okay with having easy meals. When you do cook cook things that have lots of leftovers instead of cooking for one day at a time. You’ve got this bee! 

Post # 40
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Also, forgot to mention it but a lot of my coworkers (who also work tons of OT) swear by Amazon Prime! 

Post # 41
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee

Two points:

1. The cleaning isn’t solely your responsibility. At least split it with your husband 50:50.

2. If your work is the only source of income it is important that you don’t get ill or exhausted, otherwise your income will be nil and your husband’s student days will be over. On particularly busy work weeks your husband will have to do more than 50% of the cleaning.

(By the way, just because you’re the one with the vagina doesn’t been that you have to emotionally or literally take on the responsibility for the cleaning. We are in the 21st century.)

Post # 42
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I am 8 months pregnant and work anywhere from 40-50 hours a week. What has helped me is implementing a system that I like to call my power half hour. Either right when I get home, or on the weekend when I get up, I spend 30 minutes cleaning. There is no tv, no distractions just straight tidying. I am systematic too, starting in one room completing it, then moving to the next. It spares all the extra walking back and forth, and allows for a more efficient process. By doing this (almost daily) I maintain a fairly tidy household with minimal effort. 

When my husband can (he works full time and in class) he will join the power half hour and we accomplish so much together! Knowing that for only 30 minutes you have to clean makes it a lot easier 😀

Post # 43
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
otterbee :  I’ve read your other posts and it sounds like you’re not only working long hours but in a mentally draining field.  It’s really hard to have the energy to do anything when you’re emotionally exhaused when you come home.

I work in health care myself (in the NICU) and I have good days and bad days.  I don’t work 50 hours or more (just 40) but my husband routinely does so the majority of household chores fall on me.

I know you said hiring a cleaning person is out of the question so you just have to allow yourself to be OK with things being a bit messier or less organized than you would like.  We have a cleaning lady that comes twice a month and I don’t care where we would need to scrimp, I’m never getting rid of her!  She makes our lives so much easier!  So maybe tell yourself once your husband is done with his program and gets a job that’s something you need to budget for.

I find that even though I’m tired when I get home (from being on my feet a lot) that ironically that’s when I have the most energy.  If I allow myself to sit and relax longer than say 15 minutes, forget it.  I get nothing done.  I also don’t let things pile up so it’s easy to do 20 minutes worth of cleaning as soon as I get home.  We don’t have kids yet so our house doesn’t get that messy.

I agree in having things organized and put away is key.  I’m a bit of a neat freak and my mind feels cluttered when I see clutter.  My husband is neat but not as much as me, so we have had to compromise.  He had a home office (well it’s “our” office but I don’t use it) where he can keep it as messy as he likes.  It’s not messy, he just had piles of stuff and he calls it organized chaos.  I can’t stand to even go in there, so if he does leave a pile of papers out like on the island, I put them in his office.  We also moved last year to a new house that have the same square footage as our old, but the layout is so much better so we are much better organized. 

I think one of the keys is to not let things get out of hand to begin with.  I too go through the mail as I’m walking back from the mailbox like a PP said.  I don’t let dishes pile up in the sink.  I do laundry several times a week, even if that means it’s a small load, rather then spending hours in one day.  I also put it away as soon as it’s done.  Again, it’s a mind clean thing for me.

But if there’s no way you can get extra help then you just have to tell yourself that this is temporary.  Hopefully you’ll have more time once the new job starts.

Post # 44
Member
789 posts
Busy bee

Can we please stop advising OP to hire a professional cleaner when she has very clearly stated that this is not within her budget? Everyone’s circumstances and expenses are different. 

IA that a professional cleaner can be worth his/  her weight in gold, but it’s a privileged mindset to believe that this is an option/ viable solutionn for everyone. No harm suggesting it- but when OP has said this isn’t do-able for her, it’s rather tone deaf to keep trying to sell her on it. 

I work 55+ hours part of the year, other times my hours are more work-life balance friendly but my finances always take a hit. It seems when I have lots of OT, I never have enough time, when my hours are reduced I worry about money. TBH I think if I worked 55+ hours on a year round basis &/ or still  had younger children, I would be burnt out. 

I’m fortunate to have help at home when I do work lots of hours- if I’m putting in a 12-14 hour day I come home to a cooked dinner and a reasonably clean house and the grocery shopping done thanks to my husband and my college aged daughter who take on my share of household stuff. And it’s still tiring- even with support! 

I’m not a stickler for spotlessness, I think I’m a little more laid back based on my own experience (the people in my life who’ve kept immaculate homes were always on their family’s backs to keep it looking showroom clean and wore themselves ragged adhering to their own super high standards). I’m not saying this describes everyone who is super tidy by nature, just that these experiences of mine have made me shy away from striving for uber-clean. This doesn’t mean my home is dirty by any stretch, like we have grubby sinks or unwashed floors, just that my aim is a pretty reasonable happy medium. 

The one thing I do recommend is managing clutter. It’s hard to keep on top of dusting if you have tons of knickknacks on every surface. It’s hard to keep a closet organized if it’s bursting at the seams with stuff you hardly ever wear. So even when I’m busy I will try to set aside a day to focus on de-cluttering and organizing- stuff we keep, stuff we don’t want to part with but doesn’t get regular use can go in a bin in our crawlspace, stuff we can donate, and stuff that is for the recycling bins or garbage. Doing this on a semi-regular (every few months) basis helps make the ordinary daily/ weekly cleaning easier. 

 

Post # 45
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i would designate one task per day, vaccum rooms one day, pick up stuff lying around the house the other, dishes in the morning, put away at night. laundry maybe dedicate it to the one day you have off. spraying the bathrooms down, clorox, windex etc. one night before bed. etc. etc. 

we tried to get a cleaner once ourselves but we just arent home enough, but we do splurge on a cleaner every once in a while that comes one day and does the house top to bottom. You dont really need to pay for a cleaning company, ask around and see if you can hire just a regular cleaning lady who does it possibly on the side. 

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