Post # 1
Not wedding related, but I wanted to get your input.
My friend who’s been married for 6 years texted me at 8pm while I was at my FI’s for the night. ‘can I stay with you tonight please’. I answer back: I am not home tonight but are you ok, what happened. She then calls me crying and tells me that she had a huge fight and she left.. I tell her to come to my FI’s even if just to talk and she says: I can’t go there and she hangs up. (My Fiance and I don’t live together at the time, moving in in June).
I was feeling bad about the situation when I tell her that I was spending the night at my FI’s but i can meet her in my house if she wants. Giving her the option, instead of me telling her yeah sure no problem. She texted me back: its ok, i really find out who the real friends are in hard times. Not sure what to think about the whole situation, was I a bad friend to her? Or was she expecting her only single friend to rescue her? (single, but I have my own life too). Was I wrong?
Post # 3
I don’t think you were a bad friend, you told her you would meet her. She just seems over emotional, she’ll get over it.
Post # 4
No, you weren’t wrong. I think she is just upset and lashing out. You offered to meet up with her, but she declined. Its not like you said, umm no, I’m with Fiance so deal with it yourself. I know she is having issues, but she can’t expect you to drop everything right then and there, and hopefully once things calm down she will realize that
Post # 5
I don’t think you did anything wrong. You offered to help her, even though you already had plans for that night. She was probably just really upset and taking it out on you.
Post # 6
And why couldn’t she come to his place? What would she have done if you already lived with him??
Post # 7
I think she’s just in a hard place right now and is upset! You are not a bad friend!
Post # 8
Eh, Idk, she may be really emotional. But, if it was serious enough that she left and she just wanted comfort and came to you only, maybe you should have gone to her. IDK.. But, no I don’t think you intended to be a bad friend to her, you did try.
Post # 9
You did nothing wrong in the slightest. She is lashing out. I hope this is out-of-character for her and that she apologizes when she has a little more distance.
Post # 10
Nope, you’re not a bad friend. You sounded totally available and caring. Hopefully once the worst of the emotion passes for her, your friendship will be find. Maybe follow up with her in a few days with something like, “The other night you seemed offended with me. I’m here for you, so I want to make sure we’re ok…”
Post # 11
I’d perhaps give a little appologize that the logistics didnt work out the way she wanted but that you’ll be there for her.
Post # 12
Hmmm, I don’t know if she was or was not justified in being mad at you. I think it depends on the details to some extent. There are some very rare emergency occassions when you drop everything and rush to the person. I think it depends on how close you are and how serious the emergency is.
Post # 13
You’re not a bad friend at all. Why would she not want to go to your FI’s house? My friends come over to his house all the time! I feel like I’m missing something. Does she just not feel comfortable because you guys don’t live together and you were just staying there?
At any rate, you gave her two different options, she hung up on you and didn’t take your help at all, so NO, I’d think you aren’t the bad friend in this situation.
ETA: I’m just confused about where you were supposed to go. You were offering her a stable place to be. If she’s the one that left the house, wouldn’t she want to go somewhere?
Post # 14
I don’t think you’re a bad friend. I’m sure once she calms down she’ll apologize (or at least ignore her previous comment)
Post # 15
No, you did the right thing – that was selfish of her to expect you to give her the conditions she preferred instead of what you were able to offer. She made her bed and has to lie in it, no pun intended, so if she’s having marital troubles she has to deal with it.