- 5 years ago
Ok, this is going to be long, so please bare with me
My SO and I are both nineteen, about to be twenty. Currently, I’m going to a local college on scholarship trying to get all the credits I can before I transfer either next fall or spring semester. I am hoping to get a scholarship at my new school, but it is no guarantee. More on that in a moment. When I transfer, SO and I have to move.
The thing is bees, we have NO savings. He is working a job that pays less than $10 an hour, and I am having issues finding a job. SO pays one fee to my dad to cover rent, utilities, and groceries, which eats up most of his check- then the rest goes to car payment, car insurance, gas, phone bill, etc. My dad lowered his rent and we thought we would finally be able to get ahead, save up a little to help cover college expenses. Nope. My dad then turned around and my SO ended up paying for a vet bill in my name that my parents racked up, and my dad is now making him pay for my gas to get to and from school (originally my dad was going to pay this). Between these two things, the little bit we were going to be able to save is gone.
I’m worried about how I’m going to pay for school. For five semesters that’s $50k+. I’m not eligible for most scholarships because they’re for college freshmen. The scholarship I’m hoping to get through the school (and I don’t even know how much it’s worth) takes into account GPA (I’m fine there), transferable hours (eh… I might be okay there), and financial need (ok, now I’m screwed). Can’t do federal aid because my dad makes too much- but my dad can’t help me pay for college (either directly or through cosigning for a loan with me) because SOMEHOW we are in debt up to our eyeballs. We’re barely scraping by. I don’t understand how, because we should- theoretically- be financially stable. I’ve done the math. Honestly, I think my dad is gambling again but I’m not entirely sure. Still, that is an issue for an entirely other post. Also, I’m considered a dependent of my dad’s for another 3 years, or until I get married— even if I move out of my parent’s house. I’m sure technically I could file as independent, but I don’t meet the federal requirements, and I’m not interested in committing fraud.
SO and I have been trying to figure out how to get me through school. Neither of us want me to have to take out loans; I’d have to go private, and because I wouldn’t have a cosigner and the vet bill on my record (which is the only credit I have at the moment) has gone into collections (I had no clue about the bill until collections called), I’d probably end up with a pretty high interest rate.
We’ve been thinking about getting married (please no “you’re too young” posts). We were already planning on doing it, but admittedly we had been planning to wait until AT LEAST my senior year of college, if not later. We’re not even engaged yet. I think he was going to buy me an engagement ring next year with his income tax.
We have a couple of months to decide, but this is a big decision and something neither of us want to rush into. Don’t get me wrong, we are elated at the thought of being married, but we never imagined getting married this soon. The way we see it, we have four options:
-We can run off and elope in the next couple of months and tell our parents. I doubt his mom will have much to say, because his sisters both married young and due to unintended pregnancies. She’ll probably think, “At least he’s out of my house and she’s not pregnant.” My parents, on the other hand, would disapprove. We’re young, we’re still living with them. I just don’t see them liking the idea. And it’s not exactly what SO or I envisioned. Neither of us really like the idea of coming home from our wedding to come back to my parent’s house. We’d have to give up a wedding, although this isn’t the highest on our priority list as neither of us wanted anything big anyways. BUT I would be eligible for a lot more grants and aid because his income is lower. In the long run, we’d come out better financially.
-We could always elope secretly, but my parents would react even worse. The idea of their daughter marrying young is not a good one- the idea of missing her wedding is probably even worse. So it would be a good short-term solution, but the long run, I think it would ruin our relationship with my parents.
-We could move out; I would get loans to cover me for a year, then we could get married sometime in the fall or winter of 2015. My parents would probably be more okay with it because we’re out of their house, and at least above drinking age. We could maybe save up enough for a small wedding- at least have a few major things like a photographer and cake. Also, my best friend would be back from her mission and she could be there (this is a huge deal for me. I want her there more than I want my own parents). Then I could get loans and grants for my last couple of semesters. We’d still have some loans to pay off, but it wouldn’t be $50,000.
-Of course, we could just slog through it and deal with the aftermath of an expensive college education, and pray I can get a scholarship.
Like I said, we have a couple of months to decide, and it’s a decision that we’re going to stew on for a little while, but I’m curious about what other bees would do in my situation