Post # 1
So here’s my situation. I’ve been with my boyfriend (soon to be fiance) for 4 years this year. I’m sick of being far apart so this is the year that we will hopefully be living together! How exciting right?? Well.. heres the deal. He lives in Texas and I live in Wisconsin. Pretty much all of my family lives here. However, I LOOOOOVE Texas. Such a nice change. But I just can’t justify the extra costs completely moving to Texas right now.. including higher tuition, apartment, etc. I don’t want to be in more debt that I have to, ya know?
-Would be a nice change
-His family lives there
-He wouldn’t have to quit his job
-Stay near family & parents (whom I’m VERY VERY close with)
-Cheap tuition (out of state tuition is $28,000 in Texas as opposed to $7,000 here)
I want to start a family in a few years and would like to eventually end up in Texas when that happens (or shortly after) and do not want piles of student loan debt!
So what do you think I should do bees??? I’m so lost and this gives me ba anxiety and night :
Post # 3
Finish school and THEN move to Texas. Going into almost (or more than) $100,000 in debt for school when it could be less than a year’s tuition in Texas is a lot of money!
In the end, though, that’s just what I’d do. I almost did something similar during my schooling and I know now I would have regretted it. What you decide to do has to be a choice you make on your own.
Post # 4
How does he feel about the possibility of your moving?
It seems like there is something special about this year. Why now? How much school do you have left?
Post # 5
Finish school, then move.
I know it sucks , I did it too. But starting out together in the same city with little/no debt and a degree is an awesome feeling 🙂
Post # 6
I’m with others, for that kind of $$ I’d def finish school then move.
Post # 7
I’d tell him to move to where you are if it’s more financially viable.
Post # 8
I didn’t vote because my answer depends.
Are you just about to start 4 years of school? And have you applied to schools yet or looked into scholarships?
ETA – If you are just now applying to schools I think you should apply in Texas and see if you can get any scholarhips before you make your decision.
Post # 9
I have an associates degree but am probably looking at another 3 years before I get my bachelors since it seems some of my classes wont fill the requirements :[ I have not applied yet but will be doing so within the next month. I thought about moving down there, waiting a year fo residency, then applying.. but I really dont wanna wait any longer.
Post # 10
Okay, what I understand is that you are not currently enrolled in school and are deciding whether you should attend school closer to home or in Texas. I think you should make this decision based on what your career goals are with your relationship goals secondary to this. I think that planning for your future requires considering a lot more than just the cost of school.
Is the school that is close to your home better for what you want to do? Are there resources that might be better at one school vs the other that would help you achieve your goals? What do you ultimately want to do with your life? (You dont have to answer here but in your head, that should be your guiding light).
On the flip side, can you work part time given your current degree that might help offset any costs if you end up choosing Texas?
Lastly, have you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend ever lived in the same place? Have you always been long distance? If so, it may be difficult to juggle adjusting to a new place and virtually a somewhat new relationship and school. If not, and you already know what your Boyfriend or Best Friend is like long term in person that may be less difficult but will still require some adjustment.
Post # 11
@tenacity: The school in Texas is a nationally ranked tier 1 university whereas the school in Wisconsin is only regionally ranked and tier 3 (although I’m not sure how much that matters). I want to study geoscience/geology so the school in Texas may have more resources and opportunities such as the oil fields. I tried seeing with program was better but had no luck so I will assume they are about the same. Regardless, I am going to have to get my Masters later.. so I was thinking maybe going to school in WI then going down to TX to do my Masters?
We have been together for 4 years this year and have always been long distance. We spend 1-4 weeks together at a time (normally 2 weeks) I spend enough time in Texas that I don’t think I will have to adjust much other than being away from my parents (which kinda terrifies me because I am super close to them.)
Ultimately, I would like to become a Geologist. The travel and being outside part excites me. I am 22 right now and ideally would like to start a family in a few years and be done by the time I’m 35. (I want 4-6 kids) My boyfriend is 3.5 years older than me so he is already ready for that part but I told him it has to wait a few years first, so we can spend time together, travel, and finish school.
I would definitely be able to work part time while going to school. I’ve worked two jobs while taking 16-18 credits so I know its possible. I am happiest when I’m busy. 🙂
Honestly, the only really big deciding factor I feel is moving away from my parents. My mother is not the most emotionally stable person and has told us multiple times that us kids are her rock. She wants me to be happy above all that but I really don’t want to hurt anyone if I move away because I feel like they are not completely happy about it. They want me to succeed but they also want my boyfriend to move up here and for me to go to school here haha, if that makes sense. They are not holding me back by any means, but I am holding myself back. I also have this super irrational fear of my parents passing away because a few of my friends parents have within the last 3 years. Doesn’t help that my mom thinks she wont live past 60. -_-
Sorry for pouring my heart out but hopefully someone can console me a little bit or relate to my problems! haha
Post # 12
If it were me, I’d probably move to TX & wait the year for residency. But.. that’s because I don’t like LDRs. When are you planning on getting engaged & married? That would probably influence my decision also. Also, if you plan on living in TX eventually, potential employers there may look more favorably upon you attending the in-state school you mentioned since it is nationally ranked.
Post # 13
If it were me, I’d see if FI-to-be could move to Wisconsin and if that wasn’t viable then I’d move to Texas and wait the year for residency. Would be a good opportunity to work for a year and save up some money for the future, whilst also being with your Fi-to-be. But that’s just me, I value my relationship very highly and it would be worth it to me to postpone school for a year.
Post # 14
Agh! I was so close to finishing a long reply and my son closed the window! >:(
Any how, hugs! That’s a tough decision! From what I hear from you, you are interested in something very specific and in this case I would lean towards moving. Finding the right mentors and resources to maximize your learning will make a big difference in your efficacy and success towards your masters. Yes, I also agree with Foxy that networking is crucial to future employment so that would bode well for you to get started earlier than later.
One year isn’t that long if you truly want to wait for state residency (trust me, I have waited a LONG time to get where I am..it was hard..but it was right for me and my family and in the end I am very happy..a year will not make a big difference whether u finish having kids at 35.5 or 36.5…) However, you are only going to get out of state tuition fees for the first year, so if you are really concerned about the timeline it may be worth it to just get started if you can work to pay some of the fees off.
In terms of the whole mom thing, I totally understand. You were her life for 22 years it makes sense that she would still want to have you close. Waiting 3 years won’t change that much. Making choices for yourself is part of growing up for both you and her. She will be okay, have faith. You never know when things might happen so live life to the fullest – if something happens you will be there when they need you – it is just a plane ride away. You hit the nail on the head, the only thing that prevents you from being the best you can be is fear.
Seven to eight years is a LONG time to be in a LDR. I am looking at a similar time frame for LDR but I have less choice in the matter. If I all I had the opportunity to go to a place that offers me better opporutnities for my career and I could be with my Boyfriend or Best Friend who is ready to settle down and all I had do was pay one year of out of state tuition (14K) I would definitely do it.
Of course asking for advice on a forum can only give you so much. Your life, your family, your education and your relationship are so much more complex. This is a BIG decision. Take your time. Best of luck! Rocks rock! 😀
Post # 15
DO NOT FALL FOR THE MOTHER GUILT!!!!! My Mom does that. Grrrr.
Finish school, then move. Don’t incurr that kind of debt.
Honestly, do not let your parents be the deciding factor in your decision. You will have a support system there and in “real” life, your husband comes first and decisions are based on what is the best for the two of you now and in the long run.
I think you really should sit down with him and talk about it!