(Closed) Bees who chose unusual e-rings…did you regret it? why or why not?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
10544 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

noms…cake:  omg! She does sound a bit nutty! And must be $25,000 and a 2 carat? Wow not everyone wants to spend that much on a ring! And a size 7 finger is not big it’s average! Ahhh girl just take the high road and ignore your mom. You know she’s like this and will get over it! Goodluck 

Post # 47
2632 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

noms…cake:  I have black diamonds in my set, very unusual but i love it!!! I have notice some people not react to my ring (I either get a positive reation or no reaction at all…) but I don’t care. 

Post # 48
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I have a lot of experience with a mum who believes that things need to be a certain way and gets judgey when they are not. Ultimately, she (my mum, and perhaps yours) values the opinion of society as a whole or other people more than she values the individual. Fitting in and looking good to others is her top priority. I am not even sure she would identify with that, and she certainly would never claim to value the opinions of others over her own daughter’s, but in reality that is what it comes down to. My mum wants people to think I am doing well socially and financially and that I look good, because in her mind that reflects well on her and on me. It is a completely foreign concept to her that a person could be negatively judged by others and still be happy.

It is a very old-fashioned mind-set, and it doesn’t excuse what your mum said to you, but perhaps it helps a bit to understand where it is coming from. She wants what is best for you, and part of that means that she wants others to value the things you have and the life you lead. You won’t convince her otherwise, so try to just humour her and do what is best for you.

I was originally married with a small diamond ring with ruby side stones. At 15 years my DH upgraded my ring to a simple solitaire. I DO prefer the traditional look at my current age (and perhaps after decades of my own mum’s opinions ringing in my ears), but it would not have changed what I chose then. You need to do what is right for you, and try to understand why your mum wants the things she wants for you. Don’t let her judgement rule your life, but do understand that she probably wants others to look well upon you. In her mind, that is what’s “best” for you.

Post # 49
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2000

My engagement ring, and my upgrade ring, are non traditional rings.  I didn’t want a ring that looked like everyone else’s ring.  I’ve had my share of rude comment, but I’ve never regretted my decision.  My rings are perfect for me, and no one else’s opinion matters.

Post # 50
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

Did your mom actually SEE your ring OP? How could ANYONE think it was anything but gorgeous?

Post # 51
10 posts
  • Wedding: April 2015

I have a feeling once your mom sees the ring on you and sees how happy you two are she’s going to change her mind.  I love that ring and I would totally go for it!  You’ve got a ton of people from here backing you so don’t worry about it.  Good luck!

Post # 52
11803 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Mine isn’t unusual, but it’s significantly smaller than the average rings you see nowadays (.38 carat solitaire). I go back and forth over feeling like it’s the perfect ring for me, but ultimately it’s not a huge part of my life so mostly I don’t regret it.

Post # 53
151 posts
Blushing bee

Your ring is lovely. I am obsessed with so-called rustic diamonds and other gems, especially rose cut. It’s very much the new look, and new things always take some getting used to so hopefully your mother will come around, especially if she sees some more rings in this style (all she would have to do is look at my pinterest! hehe). My engagement ring is black and white diamonds in an antique style setting and my wedding ring is a handmade eternity band with rough black diamonds. I can’t imagine regretting either.

Post # 55
6 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015

We choose to use a family heirloom ring from his great great grandmother. We know very little about the ring and it’s diamonds. It’s a unusual and I love it! It’s yellow gold and low-set which were two of only things I had an opinion about. No regrets here 🙂

Post # 56
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

After looking them up, I think that they are lovely… I really am baffled about why your mom would cry over your ring. She will not be wearing it ever, so I don’t see how it is her concern at all. The problem is that everyone makes the mistake of thinking that their opinion is somehow relevant. Sigh… Please, for the rest of your engagement/wedding/baby-making (if you want kids), please keep people out of your business from here on. They don’t need to know anything in advance. Let everything be a surprise to them. As confident as you were, your mother’s reaction took you aback, and you may know have doubts. Don’t let that happen again. Your ring needs to be something that you care about, and you totally love it. Congrats on the engagement and the ring!

Post # 57
2 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015

 My SO picked out my band, but I saw this ring before I even met him and completely fell in love with it. I wanted a one of a kind ring and did not want a traditional white diamond. So happy to have this one and I know I’ll never regret it because we both decided it was perfect.

Post # 58
3302 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh boy. Your mother is not in the real world, is she? First, a diamond is no “insurance policy”, it has a terrible return on investment. Second, the ring you selected is lovely and the stone is something that pleases you (and presumably your FI) – and you two are the only people that matter. All other opinions including Mom are immaterial.

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