Bees who go to couples counseling

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

We don’t go anymore but we did for several months. We found our therapist through Psychology Today’s online search tool. You’re correct that most insurance won’t cover couple/marriage counseling; ours was able to bill my FH’s in such a way that we got it covered (something about “therapy due to familial issues”) so all we had was a co-pay. At first, we were going once a week, then she slowly scaled us down to once every two weeks, then once every three weeks or as needed. It was 100% worth it, I think every couple should go to counseling together, especially before getting married.

Post # 3
7816 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We did premarital counseling with a therapist we found through Psychology Today’s tool, like pp. I don’t think our insurance covered it, and it was pretty steep, like $200 or something a pop. We only went twice but it was helpful. We went because we had one specific problem we were kind of at a stalemate over.

Post # 4
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

My SO and I see the same therapist as I was seeing myself first, and she has continued to bill me the same as when I was doing individual therapy, so I still only pay a copay for each session. We’ve been going every three weeks since February.  

Post # 5
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Darling Husband and I are currently in counseling. We found her through Psychology Today and she does take insurance. We’ve been going weekly to resolve to long standing issues.

Post # 7
10664 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Soon2BMrsFredericks :  

Your therapist is right.  As an ethical matter, your therapist has made a commitment to help you.  Conflicts of interest and lack of objectivity would get in the way if he tried to transform himself into your marriage counselor.

It’s one thing when a client is working on an issue and the SO being read in could benefit the client. It’s quite another for a therapist to try to take on a completely different role, without breaching any obligations to the original client.

Ideally, the therapist would refer you to a qualified couples therapist.

Post # 9
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Soon2BMrsFredericks :  Does your therapist have an individual practice or are there other practitioners in the office you could see with your SO? I had the option of being transferred to a different therapist in the same office once my SO started coming. 

Post # 11
38 posts

Where to look for therapists:

1) I echo all PPs in terms of psychology today.

2) If you reside in the United States, you could try AASECT  (American Association of Sex Educators Counselors & Therapists). AASECT certified clinicians are often trained in couples counseling/marital therapy and some of them take insurance or have a sliding scale fee.

3) If you have insurance, you can seek out marriage and family therapists that are in network. 

4) Certain religious organizations provide pre-marital classes but I am unsure if trained mental health professionals are involved instead of clergy people.

5) your therapist could provide you with referrals as well.

I’m actually a sex therapist and couples counselor. I would be out of a job if I didn’t say I think it’s helpful. Pre-marital counseling is nice, but not entirely necessary. 

I was taught that couples counseling is meant to be a short in duration (~12 sessions are advised, but there certain cases are an exception to this rule). You can always ask the provider what they would recommend in terms of frequency. Most will suggest weekly sessions to have consistency in the therapeutic process, but we also understand that financial hardship, scheduling conflicts (couples finding a time when they can come together can be difficult) can affect a person’s ability to attend treatment. Depending on the severity of the issue, they can make an appropriate determination. 

It seems as though you and your FH have agreed on a goal that you’d like to work towards. This makes it easier on the therapist because a treatment plan will be put in place early on, and sessions can be tailored to meet your goals.


If you have any questions please feel free to PM me. I hope this helps!

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