Post # 1
Hi Bee’s –
First, absolutely NO judgement here. Just curious. I’m 24..25 next month and just don’t see myself having child before I’m 30. Not that 30 is some “magic” number, but I would like to be finished with my Doctorial program.
I was talking to my make up artist and she said how happy she was that she started having children in her 20’s because it was so different when she had her last child in her 30’s. She just talked about how happy she was that she would hopefully live to see her grandchildren get married and so on.
I know SO many woman just don’t find their husband until they are in their late 20’s and want to be married for a bit before they have children. My Fiance and I will have been together 8 years before marriage and then wait another 5 before we have kids.
If you had kids in your 30’s and were married at 25 would you have waited?
Post # 2
Meant2Bee: I’ll be 26 when I get married and plan to wait until AT LEAST 30 to even TTC. Fiance is in law school right now, and won’t graduate till he’s 27. I’m starting grad school right now and will finish up next year. We want to have time to graduate and get established in our careers, pay off a significant chunk of our debt and at least have some savings towards a house before we have any kids.
I don’t think we’ll regret it. I think we WOULD regret having a kid that we couldn’t financially provide for in the way that we want to. Of course, accidents happen and our plan could end up not going exactly as we’d like, and we’ll adjust, but ideally, we’re waiting 4-5 years and I’m 100% confident that’s the right decision for us.
Post # 3
I was 31 when we started TTC for our first baby. I’m really glad we had a chance to establish ourselves career-wise and financially. I enjoyed travelling and being a little more spontaneous in my 20s (not that you can’t do those things with kids, but it involves more planning and preparation).
The drawbacks are- for us anyway- that we needed to decide whether or not to only have one kid or start TTC soon for another, and now our babies will only be about a year and a half apart. No biggie, but I do miss having more autonomy over my body.
Also, I will be the “old mom” at high school graduation. I don’t think it’ll bug me, but it might, I have no idea yet.
So, all in all, I’m glad we waited because I wouldn’t have been emotionally/mentally/financially ready much sooner. I enjoyed being a little irresponsible in my youth and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by being a mom.
Post # 4
DaneLady: My mom had me at 30 almost 31…although I was the last of 3. I certainly do not think she is the old mom! But I am SUPER jealous that my niece is 8 years old and got to enjoy my mom in her younger years as opposed to my children will have her much older.
Post # 5
Meant2Bee: I don’t have kids yet and so I’m just as curious as you are to see the responses in this thread. I’m 28 (almost) and unsure about when I want to TTC. My mom has, on more than one occassion, made a comment about how being a new mom in her 20s was easier than in her 30s (she had her 1st and 2nd kids 10 years apart; technically she’s my step mom FWIW). I have been sort of wondering if that’s her hinting to me that I need to have a baby sooner rather than later. haha
Post # 6
I’ve been with my husband 14 years and got married almost 2 years ago. We had our first (and only) baby in January this year. I’m glad we got to have so many wonderful experiences together before our son was born because looking after a baby is hard!
Post # 7
I met my future husband at your age, married at 32 and got pregnant 2 months after. We also had been living together for years. There was no need to ‘enjoy married life’ as we already felt married.
If we got married at 24/25 we still would have waited until our 30s. I am so happy we had the opportunity to see the world in our 20s and make a good amt of money because now we’re pretty much financially set and able to afford a comfortable life with children that we are 100% ready to have. We have checked everything off on our ‘to do’ list prior to kids.
I am so happy we were able to spend almost 7 yrs together childless because we experienced so much out of life. From my observation, people who get married and have kids so young really miss out on those kinds of things. Maybe they just really wanted a family and content with just that, but that wasn’t the life for us.
Post # 8
Meant2Bee: I had my first child at the age of 37. Do I wish had him sooner, no I don’t. I feel much more mature. Besides if had him earlier I more than likely wouldn’t be with the father. We are trying for baby #2 and I am 40 now.
Post # 9
Meant2Bee: I was married at 26 and we had our (only) child when I was 30. I think the timing was good for us. I’m glad we had a few years pre-children to settle into our marriage.
Post # 10
I’m 30 and we’ll probably start TTC in the next year. No regrets here. I’m very happy I had the chance to experience my 20s without the stress of a child in the picture.
Post # 11
Meant2Bee: We will be 27 and 28 with our first baby.
I don’t think it’s really age, but where you are in life at the moment that matters. Many bees reference fiances in regards to their decision, but at our ages already we have been able to pay off all of our student debt, have a cushion, invest and feel overall financially stable to have a child. We also graduated and started working in our respective professional fields before we were even 25 which helped us financially.
Since we’ve been independent, we’ve had time to travel and have fun. This is our first baby, and we don’t intend for that ‘fun’ to end, but rather change. Both our parents are excited to be grandparents and are still young and excited to take on babysitting duties if we’d like to take some time away.
We are also very excited to have a small little family 🙂 We honestly thought it was going to take awhile, so it’s been a blessing and it was giving me anxiety thinking that I was going to be infertile prior to ttc. So that has also played a role in our decision.
Post # 12
Women in my family don’t have children until their 30’s, typically. My mum was 32 when I was born, my grandmother was in her 30’s when my mum was born and i had my first child just barely before I turned 30. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it is important to experience life independently and then have time with one’s spouse before having children. As fabulous as they are, kids can put a lot of stress on a person and on a marriage; they certainly will never “fix” a marriage that isn’t already strong.
Everyone is different, but we wanted time to be established professionally, to travel and to experience life as a couple before starting a family. I hope the same for my own children and I certainly do not wish to be a grandmother until I am at least 60!
Post # 13
I’m getting ready to be 29 (DH is going to be 32) and we’ve missed our window for “this year” to TTC. I’ll almost definitely be over 30 before I have a kid, and I personally wish I had started this journey sooner. I’m a wedding photographer, and so I’m planning around my busy seasons.
My mom had me at 27 and my grandparents were still young enough to be super involved and active with us. We spent weekends and such with them and they did a lot with us.My sister (who was born when her mom was in her mid 30’s) totally got the shaft in the family department. Our grandparents were so much older when she was born that she did not experience a traditional grandparent
Post # 14
I think more and more people are waiting until 30s to have kids, so it’s something a lot of women will have to deal with together and society will be more accepting of it and have more resources available.
Post # 15
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
Meant2Bee: As a mother who had a child at 21 I would definitely recommend waiting until at least the late 20’s. I can give my reasons but there will be ones who say well I feel I have done that now. Well I hope you always feel that way. I +1 waiting over having them young any day!