(Closed) Bee’s who have already tied the knot..

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

1. I would have hired live music for the ceremony. The IPod was a total ceremony fail.

2. I would have paid for a videographer. Mr. LK forgot to give the flip cameras to guests to film the ceremony, and now I have no video of it or the beautiful speeches that were given at dinner. Bummer.

Post # 4
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ooh good question. I would have put someone in charge of my purse and making sure everything I needed was in it, LOL! I just sort of ran out to our first look but didn’t specify for anyone to bring my purse, change of shoes, etc. Bad move. I had to send my BIL back for it, but somehow our thank you speech and my vows didn’t make the trip, I should have double checked it before I left. Whoops.

I also would have hired a few people to set up the decor. We had friends helping, but there were a series of disasters and Darling Husband and the groomsmen had to rush to get it done. I wish we had had a few more hands on deck to deal with it so they could have enjoyed their day more. We couldn’t have predicted any of it though, so what’s done is done!

One thing I did do after reading a post similar to this, was I hired our photographer to do cinematography as well. Best decision ever. I’m SO glad we spent the money on having someone shoot the wedding!!!!

Post # 5
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Been better about getting certain pictures. I was really worried about taking too much time and some of our guests had already headed in to the reception so I said that we could get the pictures when we were in side, guess what we never got the pictures.

There really isn’t much I would change about my wedding. It was really a perect day even with a few bups in the road.

ETA: The biggest piece of advice is more about planning. Spend time on the things that are really important to you and you enjoy. If it isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things don’t spend time worrying about it. I loved making little personalized details, but if you don’t, don’t do it. I really loved planning, but I could see how some people could find it really stressful.

Post # 5
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Have someone give me a good look over to make sure all of my accessories, etc. were right. I’m one of those girls that ALWAYS has a hair band on my wrist, and the one I had on that day was bright blue, and I forgot about it, and it ended up in all of our pictures. I’ve been playing it off as my something blue, though…

Make sure the parents were happy with all of the posed parent pictures. My mom wasn’t, but didn’t say anything even though we had a crap load of picture time, and actually finished early, and called me in tears the next day because we didn’t take some shots she would have liked.

Post # 6
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Glad you asked!  I just wrote these up for a friend of mine.

Good ideas:

  • Limo/getaway car- soooo much less stress than trying to drive ourselves anywhere.
  • Anniversary dance- At first I thought this would take up too much of the ‘fun’ dancing time, but it was well received especially by older couples as it gave them a reason to get out of their seats at least for a few minutes.
  • Having a day-of coordinator- I’m all about organizing things yourself, but on the day-of it was very helpful to know someone was controlling things.
  • Abandoning a DIY project- if you run out of time, or realize it’s just not that important to you.
  • Personality!- Make it YOU even if it’s unconventional.  Example of this was our music.

Bad ideas:

  • Too many formal pictures- not enough fun ones, sacrificed more dancing time.
    But also…
  • Missing important pics- if you have your heart set on a certain shot or location, write it down!  I totally forgot about a whole chunk of pics I wanted with the bridal party on the pretty couch in our church’s lobby.
  • Apron Dance- just be aware if it’s a normal tradition or not in your part of the country.  It’s not too common here in MD and it was pretty awkward.
  • Too many dessert options- We had 4.  Not sure the chocolate fountain was worth the cost really.
  • Personalized napkins- waste of money.  Other brides told me this and I really didn’t miss them.  Glad I listened.

Post # 7
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

1. I wouldn’t have consumed as many mimosas as I did throughout the day leading up to our ceremony. The champagne wasn’t an issue but the massive amount of OJ did a number of my stomach. I was cramping like crazy about an hour into our reception.

2. Our ceremony aisle was REALLY narrow. Like, my mom and cousins (our 2 ushers) couldn’t even fit down it when she was being escorted. My one cousin had to bail out and walk down behind them. Then when Darling Husband and I made our way back up the aisle, I pretty much kicked a pumpkin the whole way. The ceremony chairs were also WAYYYY too close together. Anyone who was wider than a foot or so was basically sitting on their neighbors lap. I wish I would have paid more attention to the ceremony set up but I was too busy taking our first look pictures. 

3. I also regret not getting certain pictures with our families. We didn’t get a single shot of DH’s side beyond his parents and sibling/his family. To be honest, they’re really the only ones that mattered since we rarely associate with anyone else but it still would have been nice to have. We also missed a few shots on my side, too. A few that I’m actually really sad about but there’s nothing I can do about it now. If I were doing it all over again, I would have given my DOC a detailed list of everyone who we needed pictures with and had her handle getting everyone rounded up. It was much too stressful for me having to worry about where Aunt Sue and Uncle Jack were when I should have been focused on just enjoying the whole experience. 

Post # 8
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

1. I would have used prettier chairs. The ones we used were okay, but looking at guest pics of the reception, I wish we’d just gone ahead and done something different.

2. Changed out of my gown sooner. I absolutely *loved* my wedding gown, but the corset kept re-tightening even after we loosened it quite a bit, so I had a really hard time breathing and I couldn’t eat anything. I changed into something more comfy for the last hour and the after-party, but I should’ve said goodbye to the gown an hour earlier.

3. As from above, I wish I’d made myself eat something. I just couldn’t do it, and I regret not tasting our delicious meal.

4. Biggest regret: I should not have allowed my hair stylist (DH’s aunt…) to leave without fixing my hair the way I wanted it. It was her fault we were running off-schedule, and she didn’t adhere to what we did in the hair trial. Everyone just said “it’s beautiful! Perfect!” and let her go, but I hated it. I’ve only ever told one person (my mother) for fear of causing drama after the fact, but good lord… looking at pics now, I should’ve just made her change it to how I wanted it.

Post # 9
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

1. Hired a string quartet for the ceremony.2. I wish I had more than just my mom know how to bustle my dress. It took so much longer than anticipated and we were late starting the reception. Train a few people so they can get it done fast!3. Wish I had blotting papers with me. I am normally not a shiny/oily face person but it was so hot during the ceremony, it was hard to wipe my face without ruining makeup. 4. A short timeline for getting ready. I got my hair done at 9 for a 5pm wedding. I sat around most of the day just waiting for makeup. Wish I could have slept a little longer!

Post # 10
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Hired a different photographer that was more willing to work with us.

Not let some of my family’s actions get to me so much.

Not let some of DH’s family’s actions get to me so much.

Explain a couple simple requests (reserving a table for my family, playing our slideshow DURING dinner, not BEFORE and making people wait) to our vendors in the language of a 5 year old. Do not assume that if you say it once or even put it in writing, that it’s going to happen. Sigh.

Laugh, instead of cry when finding out our hotel room was next to DH’s parents.


Ok, this kind of sounds like our day was shitty, and it wasn’t – overall it was really great, but the time before the ceremony and as the reception ended were very stressful due to family action/inaction.


Post # 11
5785 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would have told my DJ that Darling Husband and I wanted to give a quick thank you before we cut the cake. We completely spaced when the time came.

Specific, but I would have put the photobooth in the reception room rather than the hall outside it. A ton of people forgot it was there (including DH)

Bucking the trend and saying I would have skipped the videographer. Darling Husband and I have yet to watch our video.

I would have practiced our first dance at least once. I spun Darling Husband at like the 3 minute mark because I was running out of things to do haha.

Nothing too major

Post # 12
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Should have had the DJ not take requests from guests. I had a few songs that were important to me and the Hubs that were not played b/c guests kept requesting songs.

Post # 13
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1. I wish I’d have had a list of important pictures that I wanted the photographer to get.  He missed a lot of the details, and we didn’t have many pictures of my parents.  🙁

2. I wish I would have thought a bit longer about wearing gloves.  It came down to a last minute (literally) decision before I walked down the aisle, and then I was so swept up in activities from then on that I forgot to take them off for the reception or any photos.  I really wish I wouldn’t have worn them now, especially after hearing all the harsh criticism on gloves from this board.  Bummer.

3.  I wish I would’ve put more effort into the cake.  What we ended up with was a huge, 80’s cake (I call it “Monster Cake”).  We were organizing our wedding from 2500 miles away, however, and didn’t even ever get to meet the caterer in person.  My hubby just sent pictures of what he liked.  Gulp.

4. I wish I would have done a hair trial.  I liked my hair day-of, but I felt like it was swooped over to one side a bit more than I’d have liked.  Again, we flew in from out-of-state the day before, so I didn’t get a chance for a hair trial.

5.  I should have skipped the wedding favors!!  Honestly, I stressed so much about them and I don’t think anyone even cared!

(Sorry!!  This was more than one or two do-overs!!!)

Post # 14
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Like others, I would have made a list of specific shots I wanted the photog to get. I ended up without any close-ups of my bouquet, shoes, or train. Not the most important pictures in the world, but they would have been nice to have.

Post # 15
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I wish I had:

  • Made sure my photographer got some very specific shots of certain details.  Nothing major, but I just wish I’d had photos of things I spent a little time on and was really proud of – silly things like our straws with flags, our guest book table, card box, and stuff like that.
  • Somehow encouraged more guests to go to the photobooth, s’mores bar, and late-night snacks.  Either with signage at their tables, having the DJ make announcements, or even just telling them when we visited.  I think with the way the room was set up some people didn’t know everything that was going on in other areas, especially if they didn’t get up to dance.
  • Found a way to spend a little more time visiting with certain guests.  There were a few friends that came in from out of town that I wish I’d spent a little more time with, but after we did a quick round of table visits during dinner we were on the dance floor the rest of the night… and I guess I didn’t expect these particular guests to be such wallflowers.  Part of me knows that they could also have come to spend time with us on the dance floor, it’s hard to take yourself away from the party to spend one-on-one time with people during your own wedding.  But I would have at least liked to grab a few of these friends and dragged them into the photobooth so that we’d have some memory that they were even there! 
  • Asked my photographer to stay a few more minutes to get photos of our boat exit!  I didn’t realize that my friend had decorated the boat with a lit-up “just married” sign and it would have been really nice to have had pro photos of us leaving on the boat!

Two random and relatively minor things that only bothered me later in the photos –

  • I didn’t like the way the seamstress sewed in the cups to my dress, and although I mentioned it at the final fitting she, my mom, and my sister told me it looked fine so I let it go.  In many photos it looks like I have some under-boob thing going on and it irks me that I wasn’t firm in asking her to fix it.
  • I didn’t wear my veil during our first look, so I had my sister put it on me while we were sequestered in the back room right before the ceremony.  The room didn’t have a mirror, so she did her best, but it was a bit lower on the back of my head than I would have liked it to have been and I didn’t realize it until I got my photos back. 

It’s crazy that I still have these thoughts of what I would have done differently (like this morning I was re-thinking the table assignments in my head LOL) – since I certainly can’t go back and do anything about it now!  Overall though the day was as close to perfect as I could have hoped for.  There were no major disasters and I don’t regret a lot of the big decisions like having a coordinator there to take care of all the setup/takedown, or spending the extra money on the best photographer and videographer I could afford. 

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