(Closed) Bee’s who have been waiting 6+ years for a proposal

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 62
Member
2152 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We will be together for 6 years this May….he’s 30, I’m 26 (27 in March). SO went to college later in life, and was a part time student working full time for the majority of the last 6 yrs…he was very adamant about being done with college and then proposing. He graduates in May, and we are going to pick out a diamond in February..the first half of 2011 was much harder, in terms of “waiting”…he’s been so much more vocal about moving our relationship along, that even though I’m SOOO anxious for it, I know it’s coming. 🙂

Post # 63
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I waited 10 years and 6 months before my proposal came.  We started dating at 18 (me) and 19 (him) and he proposed July 2011.  Though, at times I had the serious waiting bug, I never doubted that it would eventually happen. 

Post # 64
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’ve just gotten engaged but since I fit the bill exactly a month ago I figured I’d post (to give hope?) We had been together since June 2003 (started dating at 16 and never split up) and JUST got engaged, although he’s been planning it since last spring. It’s definitely frustrating to wait but I feel like if you know, you know and waiting this long is worth it to spend your life with that person. The bright side is that at 7+ years you’ve already beat the “7 year itch” and are only dealing with the “engagment-itch!”

Post # 65
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

OP- You said he was going to propose by the end of 2011….did he?

Post # 66
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Hi Ladies,

I’ve been with my BF for 10 years this Spring!  We met in college, I was 19, he was 20.  We finished college and were long distance for nearly 3 years before deciding to move in together.  We have been living together for 4 and a half years.  Every trip we’ve taken I have held my breath wondering if that would be the time, and nothing!  I would say I’ve been officially waiting on a proposal since we moved in together.  I have watched nearly all of my friends meet the man of their dreams and get married, while I have (happily of course!) been the bridesmaid.  

I suspect the proposal will be coming soon (hope so, for my sake and my mother’s!)  I got really upset a few weeks ago and asked him how long he really expected me to wait for him, how was I supposed to plan for my future, etc.  He ended up confessing that he has looked at rings recently.  I’m hoping the proposal comes soon, I would like to get married early next year.  It would be good timing as I will be done with graduate school and taking some time off to prep for my certification exam and job hunt.  

Happy waiting to all of you!  Glad I’m not the only person who has been with their SO for quite some time!

Post # 67
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

Hello ladies

I’ve been with my SO for 6 and 1/2 years, and we’ve been living together for nearly 4 years. I’ve had the engagement bee in my bonnet for the past 3 years.

I’m sure it will eventually happen, my SO just likes to take his time…

We’ve been ring shopping which is very exciting (though we have technically been ring shopping for about a year – what did I say,,, he’s certainly not someone to rush into something!) so who knows, maybe something sparkly is around the corner (fingers crossed)

Happy to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel with all the bees who are now engaged/married and were together 6y+ 

Post # 68
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hi Girls

 

I feel so happy that I’ve found this website and more specifically this message board. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years (anniversary on Vday – so cheesy!) and I guess I’ve been waiting/hoping for a proposal for the last 3 years. We have been long distance for a long time, since he is in the Navy and I’ve been doing a PhD so I suppose that is a fairly good reason for him wanting to wait a bit longer than some. However, we are finally going to be moving in together this summer (YIPPEE) as he has bought a flat and I have found a job in the same city as him. He took me to get my ring size a couple of weeks ago so hopefully I don’t have too much longer to wait now…..

 

BUT until then I’m so glad I’ve found you girls as he has banned me from all engagement/wedding talk and keeps telling me that if I talk about it I’ll have to wait longer. I guess most of you have experienced the crazy freak out days of WHY ISNT IT HAPPENING NOW so hopefully I can share that on here rather than with him! 

 

How does everyone else’s SOs cope with engagement chat – are you allowed to talk about it?

Post # 69
Member
18 posts
Newbee

im sorry ladies, i just really reallly reallllllly need to vent…..

 

ive been with my bf for 6 years. i know that he bought a ring over 6 months ago, because i picked it out. ive found it three times.

weve been together for so long, and so many other couples have gotten engaged or married, that i am beginning to get mad. as in past the point of frustration or sadness. sometimes i feel like he cant commit to anything- i have wanted to adopt a dog for 3 years, and he wont even commit to that! the straw that broke the camels back was when i was looking at dogs on petfinder, and he gave me a list of “criteria” that the dogs need to meet (which is bullsh!t). i found dogs that met his “criteria,” and he said “they dont jump out at me.” i have been waiting for three years for this, and he cannot get a move on and commit. he has been giving me excuses- when we move out of this teeny apartment, when we get back from vacation, when were done painting… and the list goes on! i feel like he is being the same way with his proposal. first it was that he didnt want to because his sister was getting married- then it was because of his friends wedding- then his other friends wedding- then its because im in grad school- now its because we bought a house.

i am so frustrated and saddened that i am going to have a talk with him when i get home. i feel like ive put my life on hold. i dated him all through college, and im now officially in my mid 20s. those are prime go to the bar, get wasted, and hook up years, that i have spent not hooking up. when he first bought the ring i thought there was hope, but its 6 months later and he doesnt seem any closer to asking. when he does ask, will i even care? will i be excited? will he care? will he be excited? at what point do i tell him that he needs to step up or im stepping out. i dont want to ultimatum him, but i am scared.

i also feel like he thinks he doesnt need to propose because im a live in girlfriend. one of the first times i brought up the marriage talk, he said “well were living together, so nothing would change.” he gets everything his wants from me, and i do his laundry and clean his house. i feel like a fool whos getting taken advantage of.

on a positive note- hes a very good gift giver, but i feel like these gifts are consolation prizes. “we’re on vacation, but im not proposing- here are those yurman earrings you wanted.” these presents also make me feel like im being naggy or greedy by wanting to get engaged.

i dont know what to feel….do other 6 years + people feel like this? i have absolutely no real life people to commisurate with on this.

Post # 71
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I just seen this thread pop up, but just noticed it was from 10 months ago. My fiance propose to me in april of this year, and we were together for a little over eight years at the time. 

Post # 72
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

He popped the question on our 10 year anniversary and we married on out 11th!

=) It was still a magical moment… and TOTALLY worth the wait.  Tears all around!! Hang in there ladies!

Post # 73
Member
9 posts
Newbee

my bf and i have been together for 6 1/2 years, 7 in Jan;living together for 7 years (roomies before we shacked up). i told him back in january that i wanted to move forward with my life, whether he was in it or not, although i’d like him to be, and that i wanted a proposal before our next anniversary, or i’d walk. He assured me i’d have one by my 25th birthday (7 days away)and i told him dont dare do it ON my birthday. thats tacky. i also told him that is the last proposal deadline i will accept, if he needs more time(for saving) then to let me know, not let the deadline pass and act like everythings all honkey dorey. i told him this was a firm deadline, and if it is not met, i’ll walk, and he can go find some one else who wants to wait around for him.

he had originally told me after we are togther for 5 years, we’d be married. 5th anniversary ame and went, with nothing, then the ‘conditions’ started.. extremely discouraging, as its making me feel like a show dog jumping through hoops. ‘do this and ill propose’ do it, no ring. ‘ok now so this and ill propose’ 15 times ive met ‘conditions’ set forth for an engagement. im no show dog, and if i dont recieve my engagement, i intend to walk. after 7 years, you should definately know whether or not you want to move forward with someone. im done playing house. i love him more than words can describe, but marriage is very important to me, and im not going to sit idly and let life pass me by, waiting, waiting, waiting for him. the worst part is he cant even say that saving is the holdup, as his grandmother had said many many times (in front of me too) that she would offer to buy the ring for him.in full. he really has no excuse..

Post # 74
Member
9 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@amrx:  omg im totally in the same boat, minus we havent bought our house yet, and ‘cant afford nice vacation because hes saving’  ive issued an ultimatum to mine.

Post # 75
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@lilred0409:  I would just ask him as a question if he actually wants to get married. In a neutral tone without emotions if possible. He says yes then there is your answer, then I would say when your ready to take it seriously then Ask me to Marry you, till then I am done  With trying to please you with your requirements. A marriage is a two way street. That is not fare on And hurts. If you want to have a dig, tell him to man up. ps. You don’t deserve that at all. I did this, it helped for Me. *hugs* totally crappy situation you are in x

 

SO and I have been together for 6.5 years. I made my mind up seriously 2 years ago and mentally came to terms about 6 months back now, we have living together in my house (kinda his too now) for over a year now, but he works away 4 weeks at a time. . We have picked and purchased the ring so now I’m just waiting. Which is okaY… Even tho 80% of our mutual friends are now engaged aNd we have been together the longest. My bestie made a point, everyone is being outshon right now so being the last may be better 🙂 

after everything I just want him home more than anything. 

 

Post # 76
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

It will be 6 yrs come this St. Patrick’s Day (2014), and we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs over the years, but the love we have for one another is unmistakable. I admit in the past I’ve been that girl who’s thought about marriage every day and prayed it would happen; and then I’ve been that girl who’s like if it happens it happens! Nothing can prepare you for the emotional roller coaster love does to one’s mind. 

I’ve listened to people tell me to walk away because it will NEVER happen and others who tell me they see how much he loves me it will happen just wait. No one knows better than one’s self if in-fact it really will ever happen. Some call it giving up or giving in, others say you’ve accepted the inevitable and are okay with it, good for you. I say be honest with yourself and see it for what it is; whatever that might be.

 What I do know is that my boyfriend gives me crazy love, he gives me the feeling deep down in my body that you just can’t shake, he brightens my day and I know I don’t ever want to spend a day without seeing his face and feeling his warmth. I know I have never felt love for any other man like what I feel for him. I know I want us to grow old together and look back on all the good times we’ve shared and smile. I know that I love him more than anything else in the world and marriage is extremely important to me for many reasons; but I refuse to put a “time limit” on it anymore. I know I’ve allowed for too many sunsets to go by just wishing and hoping for something more rather than just being thankful I’ve found someone who really loves, appreciates and cares for me like no other has before.

Don’t ever lose sight of the good life you currently have, just because you’re waiting or hoping for something better.   

Love the one your with in the present and the future will come, promise!!!!

We’re 2058 days strong and still counting

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