im sorry ladies, i just really reallly reallllllly need to vent…..
ive been with my bf for 6 years. i know that he bought a ring over 6 months ago, because i picked it out. ive found it three times.
weve been together for so long, and so many other couples have gotten engaged or married, that i am beginning to get mad. as in past the point of frustration or sadness. sometimes i feel like he cant commit to anything- i have wanted to adopt a dog for 3 years, and he wont even commit to that! the straw that broke the camels back was when i was looking at dogs on petfinder, and he gave me a list of “criteria” that the dogs need to meet (which is bullsh!t). i found dogs that met his “criteria,” and he said “they dont jump out at me.” i have been waiting for three years for this, and he cannot get a move on and commit. he has been giving me excuses- when we move out of this teeny apartment, when we get back from vacation, when were done painting… and the list goes on! i feel like he is being the same way with his proposal. first it was that he didnt want to because his sister was getting married- then it was because of his friends wedding- then his other friends wedding- then its because im in grad school- now its because we bought a house.
i am so frustrated and saddened that i am going to have a talk with him when i get home. i feel like ive put my life on hold. i dated him all through college, and im now officially in my mid 20s. those are prime go to the bar, get wasted, and hook up years, that i have spent not hooking up. when he first bought the ring i thought there was hope, but its 6 months later and he doesnt seem any closer to asking. when he does ask, will i even care? will i be excited? will he care? will he be excited? at what point do i tell him that he needs to step up or im stepping out. i dont want to ultimatum him, but i am scared.
i also feel like he thinks he doesnt need to propose because im a live in girlfriend. one of the first times i brought up the marriage talk, he said “well were living together, so nothing would change.” he gets everything his wants from me, and i do his laundry and clean his house. i feel like a fool whos getting taken advantage of.
on a positive note- hes a very good gift giver, but i feel like these gifts are consolation prizes. “we’re on vacation, but im not proposing- here are those yurman earrings you wanted.” these presents also make me feel like im being naggy or greedy by wanting to get engaged.
i dont know what to feel….do other 6 years + people feel like this? i have absolutely no real life people to commisurate with on this.