(Closed) Bees who have gone through Long Engagements…

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
4412 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Our engagement is only 13 months (we’re now 8 weeks away!), so much shorter than yours. We got engaged Nov. 2012 and are getting married on New Year’s Eve. We originally planned to wait around 2 years (December 2014/January 2015) and then decided we couldn’t do it. We were surprised, however, that 13 months was a LONG time to a lot of people. I will say having a long/longer engagement really allows you to decide what you want and what you are comfortable spending-oh! and more time to save- before getting caught up in the excitement of an impending wedding. I also liked that we enjoyed the excitement of our engagement and that next step before focusing on the wedding. He proposed almost half-way through my first year of teaching while I was also in an accelerated graduate program. I liked having something different than work/school to think about and focus on. It helped me realize that the year of work/intense school would come to an end and that then it would be close to the wedding. Enjoy the time!

Post # 4
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Our engagement will be about 27mths by wedding date.

PROS: *I think the money thing is definitely a pro, more time to save/pay things off. At 7mths out right now, we could pay off the balance of everything owing & still have decent savings left in our bank.

*Being able to secure locations is also a pro, compared to trying to secure something when everything seems to book out well in advance.

*Being able to have time to look at trends/styles/themes etc & figure out what you really want, rather than just having to choose something cos there’s no time to muck around

CONS: *I kinda just want it to hurry up already!

* Careful about the vendors you choose, cos things change for businesses – we’re on our 3rd reception venue, cos the 1st one had terrible management, so we ditched them, 2nd changed owners & didn’t tell us (we found out by accident) and new owners claimed we had no booking or deposit. Third time lucky however!

* Styles etc change too. There are a few things that I invested money in early & I love, but part of me wishes I hadn’t been so efficient, cos I’ve seen cooler ideas since.

Overall, I’m happy – haven’t had too many dramas & 7mths out most of it is sorted. Good luck!

Post # 5
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We have been engaged for 16 months and get married next week. I know you are planning something longer but I think ours is on the long side. I think the pros of a long engagement is having plenty of time to save money, plan everything and not be stressed. You two both already have the stress of grad school! Also, since you have such a long engagement you can have a nice period of just enjoying the moment and not even have to plan anything. 

At this point, Fiance and I are very ready to be married. I think the only con could be you may feel the same way. It’s not a bad thing but both of us started to get a bit antsy like, okay we are ready and want to be married. This also could be attributed to the fact that we booked most of our vendors late 2012/early January. So we had such a long gap of nothingness in regards to planning that I think we are both just ready to get to the big day. 

Congrats on the engagement and enjoy your time together!

Post # 6
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


Our engagement will be 2 years when all is said and done, and I think it was a mistake for us.

Originally, we figured that a long engagement would go over better with our families and friends, since we were 22 when we got engaged, which is pretty much absurd in our communities.  We also wanted to have some certainty in terms of our grad/med school plans.

But what we realize now is that we were ready to get married when he proposed.  We’re a fully committed couple; we share a home and our bank accounts, and either one of us would follow the other to whatever city we end up in next.  I feel like waiting 2 years kind of ruined the “fun” of getting married when we were really just starting our lives together.  The only reason we haven’t moved up the date is because we have deposits down, and we’ve toyed with the idea of courthouse + reception later, but my parents were ultimately uncomfortable asking my relatives to travel for something that wasn’t a legal wedding ceremony.  It’s not a disaster or anything–our relationship is growing and obviously just being together is more important than anything else, but we both wish that we had gotten married at a time that felt right, not a time that seemed smart.


Post # 7
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

By the time we get married, we will have had an 18 month engagement.


We’ve really gotten to know each other much better, and our relationship has really improved. It’s been wonderful getting engaged, moving in together, and actually having time to celebrate our engagement. When we got engaged, we had only been together a year, and only known each other for a year and 2 weeks. Our relationship moved quickly. It was nice to finally slow down.

You also have more time to save for presents, the wedding itself, and the Honeymoon. I’m SO thankful to have this time to save as much money as possible. It’s been a BIG blessing!


TOO many choices out there! When you plan a wedding SO far in advance, there are a lot more options for photographers, MUA, venues, dresses, etc. I went shopping for a dress at least 8 times before I committed. It was hard to choose a dress so far out. (BUT, having too many choices can also be a pro! You get the first pickings of venue, photographer, etc.)

You’ll get to the point where you think “COME ON!!! Let’s just get married!!”

All-in-all, I’m so glad I waited. It’s been a wonderful year so far, and after looking at my list of to dos, I’m SO glad that I still have 6 months until the day! 

Post # 8
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MissBatman:  agreed!  Pros & cons well said.

First date: March 15, 2012

Engaged: December 25 2012

Cohabitation: around Jan or Feb 2013.

We were ready to marry quickly but ended up with a 16 month engagement because we needed to do an April wedding to suit our schedules.  April 2013 would not have allowed enough time to plan.  We are so anxious to just be married that we entertained scrapping the whole thing and eloping just about a month ago!  I’d love to do that but it’s not fair to our families since they’ve been counting on a wedding since we booked a venue in Feburary.  

16 months is a bit long for me but living together for this time has been good for us.  We have bonded, set some ground rules and learned to accept each other.

We’re in the home stretch now, I think April 26 is going to come FAST at this point.

Post # 9
2890 posts
Sugar bee

We started dating in April 2012.

We moved in together (appartment) in September 2012.

We opened a joint account on October 2012 (we did not combine finances per se, but we do share and split money).

We got engaged unofficially in November 2012. And officially (had bought rings, and started to announce) in March 2013.

Our wedding is set for January 10th, 2015. That makes 1,2 to 2 year engagement. 


– We can shop and split the expenses throughout the months/year. It’s easier to fit in our budget and leaves us more time to save.

– We do not feel pressured by time (if ordering a dress, looking for a vendor, etc.). And we do not have to rush to book any venue. Same with DIY : no stress, I’ll do it when I feel like it, I do not want to rush a week before wedding to finish everything.

– Discounts ! I’ll have all the 2013 Holidays (and the after-Holidays) to shop discount everything : accessories, shoes, decor …! Which I won’t have the time to do in December 2014.


– It honestly doesn’t feel serious, or that people take ous seriously, because they do not see it coming in together yet. Like @jdhall89: said, it somehow kills the fun. I know I’ll have fun when it starts to move on, deposits are paid, etc. But it does feel like we’re in a limbo for now.

– Too many options, too many possibilities to change your mind and want to buy other stuff, it’s endless. You really have to stay focussed on what you want and have a detailed budget written down !

– Unfortunately, I am not sure my grandparents will make it to 2015. 🙁

– Being both student (I am finishing my ph.D., Fiance just started a bachelor), it’ll most likely cut his student loans (scholarship) in half, and he already doesn’t get much. But I’ll be a worker by then, we’ll make it. And we also chose to delay our honeymoon a few months in order to save money and all. We want to go to Europe, it’s better to go in May or June rather than January anyway.

Post # 10
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We decided to do about a two year engagement. When we had been talking about getting engaged someayd, I told Fiance that I really wanted the extra amount of time because I am in grad school (almost done, whew!) and didn’t want wedding planning to distract me from the academics. At the same time, I wanted to be able to nail down little things as I found the time to do them. I’ve had some people tell me that they don’t “believe” in long engagements or that they don’t think that they work. Honestly, I think for my parents, it has been a great litmus test to see that although we are young (I’m 23 and he’s 25), we are serious. 

Post # 11
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It will be 4 years, 2 months engaged on our wedding day.. Crazy, right? 

The truth is we had other things come up, decided to buy a house etc. I don’t regret our decision, but I’m at the stage where I just want to be his wife, now. 

Post # 12
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Started dating: May 18, 2005

Moved in together: June 2008

Engaged: March 1, 2012

Married: March 1, 2015


As you can see we are in no rush either. We will be engaged for 3 years. We our waiting to get married for our 10 year anniversary.

Pros are lots of time to save explore and plan. The only con I have found is changing my mind. There are so many ideas our there. I have changed my mind on the colors and theme at least 3 times.

Post # 13
522 posts
Busy bee

Although we are not yet engaged, my SO and I have decided on having a 2 year engagement. I am in grad school (graduating August 2015) and I want to have my education complete before I am married. I also want plenty of time to plan and save for our dream wedding. 


However, most people we know believe that an engagement should be about 1 year. It’s a bit uncomfortable knowing we are going against the norm, and wondering what people are thinking. If we got engaged now, we would have close to a 3 year engagement and I just don’t think it would mesh well with our families. 

Post # 14
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We were engaged for 18 months, mainly due to the fact that I was planning the wedding from out of the country. It worked great for us, as we had our choice of venue and vendors that far in advance, people had plenty of time to buy international plane tickets, make arrangements, etc., and I felt like I really got to enjoy the planning process without much stress.

I say without much stress, cause by the time May rolled around, I was saying “F it, I want to be married yesterday!” But I think that happens to alot of us, regardless of engagment length 😉

Post # 15
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We were negaged for 14 months.  It seemed like forever.  However, it gave us plenty of time to plan and make things just right.  Plus, husband was in school for 9 months during that time which is one of the reasons we had a longer engagement.

Post # 16
598 posts
Busy bee

We have been engaged for 2.5 years, and will have a 3 year and 1 day long engagement! It was nice spending a year and a half to enjoy engagement. After that the wedding planning slowly started, and I finally got to go dress shopping and make some major purchases. We also waited due to graduation. It’s been a good experience overall!

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