Bees who have or did hyphenate their names: Advice.

posted 2 weeks ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Hostess
4152 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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@MrsMeowton:  I think that mine sounds WAY better first, and he things his sounds better first lol.  I agree, I’ve anecdotally seen that maiden usually goes first, but when I tried to google the “rules” to aid in our debate, I couldn’t find much.  I have started conditioning people over the years that we are the Maiden-Married family, even though I kept my last name, so hopefully it’ll win out 😉 

Our families will all just have to come to terms with it!  

Post # 17
Member
9467 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@MrsMeowton:  I know this wasn’t directed at me, but FWIW, we put my maiden first and that was solely because it sounded MUCH better that way. I also happen to like my maiden’s first initial better than dh’s surname’s first initial, so that was another consideration.

Dh’s family didn’t like the hyphenation generally and REALLY didn’t like the fact that my name came first. They are traditional and weirdly, weirdly obsessed with and proud of their surname. But dh and I just shrugged it off and kept saying things like “welp, that’s the decision we made and we stand by it.” Other than the initial grumpiness about it, they haven’t said anything since. I’m sure they still don’t like it, but I don’t care as long as I don’t have to hear about it.

Post # 18
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2021 - Banff

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@MrsMeowton:  I was born with a hyphenated last name.

Pros: I identify more strongly with my mother’s side and I love that I get to claim that name. It also helped with school things to have both my parents names attached to me when I was a kid. 

Cons: my whole name is 27 characters long. It cannot fit on a license or scantron sheet for school exams. In university I was marked with a 0 on exams several times because of this. Legal documents take forever. My job requires my legal printed name quite frequently and it’s painful. 

Post # 19
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Brighton victorua

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@MrsMeowton:  

Oh my gosh. If the other siblings weren’t so mollicodled I would think our in-laws are the same people. 

That’s horrible. It is disgusting the way some people feel they are entitled to talk to people. 

I had to tell my childrens educators about the incident that made me cut out my Father-In-Law for good and it can be so embarrassing to explain. (The kids weren’t awake but they were there and we had to leave the home in a hurry and I have a thing in place with the school so he can’t go there even if it’s not in corona times) I honestly was so embarrassed that the situation even happened and that people from the same family could treat people like that. 

I think you do what you’re happy with and if you want it and hubby is okay with it then that’s exactly what should be done. 

Post # 20
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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@MrsMeowton:  We hyphenated post-wedding and I’ve never had any problem with it at all? I don’t really understand where this notion of having a hyphenated last name being inconvienent comes from because frankly, people just don’t care. I cannot fathom why it would possibly cause any kind of issue. All last names have limitations when it comes to picking a childs first name, some things just don’t sound good together- but thats the only scenario I can see a double-barrelled name being considered a limitation and really, its no different. 

Post # 22
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Have you considered what will happen when your son or daughter grows up and has a spouse/kids of their own? Would they hyphenate their name with their partner’s name? So it’s like jones-miller-smith? Would they drop one of your names at that point? Would they retain their hyphenated name but their partner and children would have their partner’s ‘simple’ last name?

I have a friend who was in this situation (had a hyphenated name already) and his wife did not take his last name at all and they chose to give their son her name since it is less complicated. Would that bother you if that happened? There is no right answer, just figured it is good food for thought in making this decision. 

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