(Closed) Bees who have sex with your SO…will you/did you abstain for your wedding night

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

DH and I stopped over a year before we got married… we did it for other reasons but we did make it the whole time and it was completely worth it

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We are not abstaining.  Absense of sex doesn’t make me love my FI more….. it makes me frustrated.  Sex is special with my FI because I love him and I want to be with him and only him.  It’s not special because we haven’t had it in a while.

Post # 5
Member
4680 posts
Honey bee

@3xaCharm:  +1. We won’t be abstaining before the wedding. Sex on our wedding night will be special and memorable, whether we had sex a year before or the night before. 

Post # 6
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I also think there can be so much pressure about making wedding night sex special.  I’m not even remotely concerned with if we even HAVE sex on our wedding night.  We will be exhausted, we will be emotional, we will be entertaining our family for 3 days before the wedding and 2 days after.  We will be having some drinks which will add to being exhuasted.  

I am hopeful that more often than not over the next 49 years (cuz I’m 41) I have more good sex than bad sex and that as I learn more and more about this man that I love that I get better and better at making him happy and that he will get better and better about making me happy.  I don’t have any illusions that one act of sex is meaningful at all.

Post # 7
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We did a week and it was great because we were in need of it big time so the first time we did it, it was awesome. 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We’ll have to abstain before the wedding because he’ll be deployed. :/

I’m pretty sure my vagina will have withered and died by then. :O

Post # 9
Member
4314 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Uh no.  We hooked up the night before lol.

Post # 10
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

Ummmmm we’ll probably abstain the night before the wedding because we’re sleeping in separate places. But that’s about it! Sometimes I like the idea of abstaining for a while, in theory, so that you really REALLY want it on your wedding night, not because it makes it more “special” on an emotional level. I think if I were to abstain it’d be so that my desire would be higher and it would be better on a physical level. I think wedding night sex, whether you’ve done it 1 million times or 0 times before, will automatically be emotional and meaningful because, well, it’s your wedding night!

I say I like the idea in theory — because there is NO WAY we would be able to hold off for more than a few days. Feeling like it was “forbidden” would make it even more impossible.

Post # 11
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We will have just finished a two year bout of long distance right before we get married.  So hell to the no on any more abstinence for us.  We have put in our time!

Post # 12
Member
5880 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I find the idea of abstaining really weird, sorry.

We’ll have been together 9 years when we get married. God knows how many times we’ve had sex, but it’s got to be in the thousands. So I find abstaining a bit ‘fake’ and pointless.

I also don’t think abstaining will make it any more special. In fact, I very much doubt we’ll be having sex on our wedding night anyway, as we plan on partying until the early hours, and will then probably collapse into bed exhausted; maybe we’ll have q uick fumble, but I doubt we’ll have passionate, mind-blowing sex… I find the whole idea of ‘wedding night sex’ a bit overrated TBH.

But then, I’m not the most romantic, and I don’t see sex as an emotional thing; I know that for me, maried sex is going to be no different at all from unmarried sex; waiting is not going to make it any more special, it will just make both of us sexually frustrated.

Each to their own though.

Post # 13
Member
8115 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We had sex the morning of the wedding just in case we were too tired to be bothered afterwards Wink 

Post # 14
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs.Jansen:  +1 this is what we are doing plus I don’t like sex so it will be good =]

Post # 15
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i havent thought about it… hmmm

Post # 16
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

@alishaloo: What do you mean you don’t like sex? You should change that!  

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