Post # 1
So I found out my boyfriend is proposing, and I know exactly when. I was on his ipad when a text came in saying “so you’ll be overseas when you propose?” It was from his best friend in college. Because I am pathetic and couldn’t help it, I opened the thread and read that yes in fact he planned to propose this April while we are in Paris, and the previous weekend he had taken my parents to breakfast to ask their permission. I LITTERALLY HAD ZERO IDEA and ruined it all. Since finding out I have been so disappointed, and I feel like I’m even anxious/having doubts. Two weeks ago I would JUMP at the opportunity to discuss a potential near proposal to him, now I know exactly the time coming, and have become indifferent. I know he’s the one, so I am just wondering, if I am experiencing that “after engaged anxiety” since I essentially spoiled the surprise. I’m also worried the moment will feel like nothing when it happens, because I will have known for months. I am seriously so mad at myself for ruining the surprise and am just looking for stories from those of you who knew for sure about the proposal, and what it felt like when it happened/leading up to it. We are going on a London/Paris trip so I also want to enjoy the vacation without expecting him to drop to his knee every five minutes!!!! Advice pleaseeeee.
For background: We have been together for over three years, and lived together for a year. His sister is getting married this October, and I am a bridesmaid in that, as well. We are both in our late twenties.
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
I knew for months, and even though he never told me what day I GUESSED what day it was going to happen. I never knew for certain, but it turned out that I was right. So even though I had a really solid idea of exactly what day it was going to happen, he still surprised me with how and where, and it was still so special. Not knowing ALL the specifics still made it exciting and surprising.
Post # 3
I creeped through my husbands phone and found out about my proposal as well, I had no idea, and if I wouldn’t have found out it would have been the biggest surprise of my life! I too waited several months knowing this because he had planned to propose while we were in Europe on vacation as well.
The proposal was still amazing and special, I acted surprised (he still doesn’t know I knew) and I still did feel some shock/surprise as it was a bit surreal.
I really wish I wouldn’t have looked through his phone, that was pretty fucked up of me and afterwards I did find myself wondering what it would have felt like had I let it be the surprise he had planned. But it is what it is, it was still a really special moment that I remember vividly.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
There weren’t any surprises in my proposal, I knew the ring because I picked it, knew what he was doing and where we were going, knew he would drop down on one knee exactly when he did….and I still had butterflies and started to cry. I’m a bit of a crier so that was maybe to be expected, but I was still so happy! And so excited!
Maybe you’re feeling guilty about snooping? Just try to put it out of your head and think about preparing for your trip and living your day to day life! Once you’re engaged you will feel excited and happy again (I hope!).
ETA: I played dumb the day he did it and I’m glad I did, sort of tricked myself into the surprise / excitement of the moment!
Post # 6
I’m not sure why proposals are meant to be surprises. I knew my husband was going to propose, but it didn’t make it any less special.
Post # 7
We designed my engagement ring together so I knew the ring existed for sure, plus we had also discussed a timeline so that we were both on the same page. My Fiance waited until the tail end of our timeline so there were only so many days left that it could have been. The day it happened I had a pretty good feeling that it was the day, but Fiance did throw me off throughout the day and I started to doubt it was going to happen until it did! I don’t think it took away from the feeling I got in the moment whatsoever. You know some details but not ALL of the details, so try to enjoy the nervous excitement during your trip that it could happen literally any minute!
Post # 8
I guessed which day it was going to happen months in advance. (He made some comments about wanting to plan something big for my birthday, and I had a strong suspicion that he was planning on proposing then — I ended up being right.) Even though I knew it was coming, I was still excited, nervous, and shocked when it actually happened! Maybe even moreso, because I remember I started almost hyperventilating on the drive over to my “surprise” party, thinking ‘oh my god, by the end of tonight I will probably be engaged!’ It definitely didn’t ruin the proposal, and I was still super happy about it. 🙂
Post # 9
Our computer is connected to our television so we can stream shows on there so he opened our computer one day and clicked the history and I accidentally saw something about ring shipping but didn’t say anything and he didn’t notice. We were taking a trip to Napa pretty soon after that and I was expecting it the whole time and of course he proposed but after he proposed he said “YOU KNEW DIDN’T YOU?!” Because I wasn’t crying and was just sort of smiling. Afterwards we still were super excited and talked about about our plans, future and had amazing rest of our trip. So it didn’t ruin it because it was still exciting and wonderful but to this day he’s still annoyed when people ask!! Haha
Post # 10
FH and I picked out the ring. Ive tried it on and he told me he plans to do it this weekend on our anniversary trip. So yea, I know, lol.
Im still super excited and expect to be emotional when it all becomes official. Like yea, we have made plans, and yea he bought a ring… but it will be real when he asks and I get to wear it 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana
I know he’s proposing, he knows I’m proposing. We both have rings and a plan. The whole thing has been special as we wait for each others plan in 2019. We opened the proposal window on 12/29, our 2 year anniversary. He can’t believe I’ve waited over a month. Little does he know it’s going to be an extra special birthday for him this year! I have no idea what his plans are or if they’re before or after mine. Just enjoying the anticipation! Sometimes it’s hard but I know the moment will be special no matter what. I’m sure I won’t believe it’s happening!!!
Post # 12
I will never understand the idea that a proposal should be a total surprise.
If I knew I was getting cake on Friday and then I ate the cake, it would still taste good. If someone surprised me with cake on Saturday, the cake is still going to taste good. The surprise cake is not going to taste better, solely because it was a surprise. If anything, knowing I’m having cake on Friday helps me to prepare for it. I might make sure there’s also ice cream to go with the cake. I might eat less that day to save room for it.
An engagement and marriage is much more life changing than cake. I wanted to have an idea about my future and the timeline a proposal would happen. It’s better to plan when everything isn’t a complete surprise.
You haven’t ruined your proposal. Now you can make sure your nails are done if you’re into that.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
My proposal was basically only a small part surprise. He gave me a 3 month range of when he would do it. He did trick/confuse me with the specific date (I thought we were doing something else entirely until we got to the jewellery store and my jeweller said my setting was in lmao )but other than that it wasn’t really surprising and I am grateful. I hate surprises and public spectacles so much. It was definitely not ruined at all for me.
Post # 14
I knew it was coming as he asked for my help designing the ring and I knew when he picked it up. We had gone away for the weekend and I thought that he might of done it then but he didn’t, but I wasn’t all that worried as I knew he wouldn’t hold ono the ring that long. As we were driving back from our trip he pulled up at my favorite ever spot. A normal church ruins in the middle of the countryside.
He said did we want to play with our cameras, I said sure. Anyway, he was faffing about with this tripod and it was freezing, November in the UK, and really windy, so I nearly went back to the car. Anyway, he said, let’s just get a photo together. He then got down on one knee and proposed. I screamed, I cried, I was in shock despite knowing it was coming,. ha ha
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
i thought I had found out by accident/ guessed – but then it was a complete surprise anyway, because the day of, I was like “oh no… there’s no way it’s happening today. Everyone’s so calm and normal, I was just being paranoid.”
and it was a total shock.
I think it’s good to be a little prepared, because otherwise you might go completely blank and not hear what he says. The moment itself is such a shock. You don’t want to miss it …
early congratulations. Just savor every second, it goes so slowly and so fast at the same time. ❤️❤️❤️