(Closed) bees who live far away from their families… how do you handle visits/vacations

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

My parents live about 500 miles away.  We live close to his family, so it isn’t really an issue for THAT, but for my family….I got visit on long weekends whenever I can.  We drove up for Christmas and came back to spend New Year’s with his family.  My parents come visit me sometimes, too.

 

I think the answer is either to move closer to your parents, or get jobs that allow you to travel more!  Simple simple lol.

Post # 4
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband and I were born in the same area in Southern California. My family lives in one town, his family lives in the next town over. My husband and I now live in Oklahoma City, where he is stationed at Tinker AFB. We live about 1,200 miles away from our families.

1) How much time do you spend with each family during a year?

Our family time is very limited. I’ve seen my parents twice this year, we’ve seen his parents once. Mostly, we interact via skype (with webcam) and that definitely helps.

2) How many trips/year do you take?  Does your family come visit you?

We will be flying back home in June for our formal wedding. My parents came out in August for a visit shortly after my husband deployed. My family and his family came back later in December to see us get married.

3) How do you / do you carve out vacation time for yourselves too?

We don’t get many vacations because my husband is in the Navy, so this doesn’t really pertain to us. He deploys often and isn’t home for more than a couple weeks before he deploys again. So, we don’t vacation. Also, we have pets, so, that makes it more difficult, too.

4) What do you think is a normal/reasonable amount of time to get to visit long-distance family?

I don’t know, a couple weeks? I think we’re staying in California for a week when we have our formal wedding.

Post # 5
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Fiance and I are just out of college which means we have virtually no vacation time. We’re from the same hometown which is a good 6 hour drive from where we live. The longest we’ve managed to go home for is 4 days for the weekend before Christmas because we both got that off without taking time off. We spent the entire time bouncing between our families and trying to sqeeze his friends inbetween. We’ve managed to go home for maybe a weekend for the birth of his neice, thanksgiving (missed the actual holiday), and now Christmas. We missed the birth of his neice because she was late and we’re hoping we can meet her in March if his sister manages to get home. So we might get home for the weekend about 5 times a year. My parents come to visit a few time a year because they actually have the time. His dad came up to help him move, but hasn’t visited since and his mother refuses to visit us which is a whole other can of worms.

Someday we’ll actually have vacation time and will want to go on a trip, I’m not sure how we’ll balance that.

Post # 6
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it’s hard balance. Currently I love only a few hours from my parents. But I lived on the west coast for a few years, and will be moving back with Fi after I’m married.

1) How much time do you spend with each family during a year?


It really depends my first year living six hour plane ride was touch so I managed twice. Now I make more money when I move back to the west coast I’m aiming for 6-8 times, not counting the times they visit me.Keep in touch by Skype or video chatting. I think it was hard but I set apart time to Skype with my parents a couple times a month. This is important and you find that talking “face to face” is much better then strictly over the phone. My mom isn’t a big tech logy person but she learn fairly quickly and easily how to use Skype.

2) How many trips/year do you take?  Does your family come visit you?

 I think the biggest gripe for me an a lot of people who live far from their families is that they don’t take the time to come visit. So speak to your parents about coming to see you and hopefully they will set apart time and money to do so. My parents were against me moving, so the first year didn’t come visit me. I wasn’t making much money and couldn’t fly home for Christmas it was hard missing that holiday. But I think it made them more flexible and the following year they came to see me twice. I think explaining to the families that they do their part and come visit you will help as you see them more often. That way you can enjoy your vacation time!

3) How do you / do you carve out vacation time for yourselves too?

3. Go when you can even if your Fi/Dh can’t come. At the time that I lived across the country if I had a four day weekend where I could save money  or find a cheap flight and fly in for a three or four day weekend I went without my Ex. It just made things easier to plan for one person rather then juggling two peoples budgets and work schedules. It also meant that I didn’t have to use up all of our vacation days visiting family. So We were able to keep half of our vacation time to take trips and travel.

4) What do you think is a normal/reasonable amount of time to get to visit long-distance family?


I think it’s a personal choice and a case by case basis to work out what you can affordable and feel comfortable with. I think keep in regular contact will help and also getting your family to commit or realize that they have to come see you guys too, tell them instead of complaining pick a weekend and come visit. That is important as a it’s something they can do, and it’s places the responsibility not just on you and your Fi but on the family too.

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