(Closed) Bees with A, B, C guest lists

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

When you do this, you give everyone the same RSVP date and you invite from the Blist as you get no responses. You should only send Save-The-Date Cards to people you will definitely no matter what invite (A listers). You can maybe get away with sending the first batch out as early as 3 months and the later once as early as 8 weeks provided that the RSVP date is no earlier than 4 weeks out from the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We have an A and B list. We sent STD’s to only the A list. We haven’t sent invites yet so not too sure on the timing, but honestly I wouldn’t be offended if I was on a B list, but that’s just me. People understand that weddings are costly and about the closest family and friends. 3 months ago a friend sent me an invite and I knew due to the timing I was on the B list. Her family from NYC couldn’t make it which freed up 7 spots that she could then extend to her group of college friends. I didn’t mind in the slightest, I understood family comes first. Even on the B list, you still enjoy a great meal, drinks, dessert, dancing and get to be apart of the coupples wedding day. I wouldn’t put much thought into it, but again I am very lax about this kind of stuff.

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

We called ours the “must-invite” list and the “wish list.” The “must-invites” comprised our sizeable families (mine, especially, is huge and sprawling) and all the family friends from the small town where I grew up (who would be seriously offended not to get an invitation). Since our wedding would require many of them to travel across 3 or more states (10+ hours by car), we knew that, realistically, only the closest ones who really cared would attend, and so as the declines came back, that allowed us to start inviting friends off the “wish list.”

Post # 7
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@Yokyee:  You should address the invitation clearly to the people invited, so never invite “the Smith family.” List everyone by name. If you are still concerned that some people will invite a guest, you have two options. The more polite is to assume that your guests know how not to be rude and wouldn’t do that and if they do you call and explain that the invitation was extended only to him/her and it’s just not possible to make exceptions. Do not offer reasons as they can be countered. It’s just not possible. The second option is to clearly say on the RSVP that 1 seat has been reserved in that person’s honor. For example:

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