Bees with a younger sister, how much of a "mother" are you ?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I have two younger sisters – one will be 11 in February and the other will be 16 in May. I feel like I am obligated to mother them when I see the stuff they are doing on the social media my mother isn’t on. For instance, snapchat and Instagram. Yikes. I also feel like I have to maintain their trust and use my judgment because if I betray them for something silly/ less offensive (using their phone while at school) I will have lost their trust when a big issue arises and they need someone other than my mom to talk to. I am incredibly protective of them, maybe more of a tiger mom than my own mom – and she is an actual bear. 

Post # 4
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

Well I am 21 and my sister is 13. She is very mature and we are bestfriends but I am also very motherly to her since my mom doesn’t bother to care she exists. I take care of everything she ever needs for school like clothes, supplies, homework. I attend her concerts and I make sure she is as happy as she can be. I have been trying to bring her to live with me because my parents honestly do not notice her. So yeah I can say I feel very responsible and protective over her.

Post # 6
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I have two younger sisters; one is five years younger than me, the other is seven years younger than me. Though between them, there is a two year gap, it is like they are twins! When our Mom was expecting them, each time, she told me that she was carrying my little sibling and that she would need my help to raise them! I never felt jealous and felt a sense of responsibility ’cause well, they were “ours” not just Mom and Dad’s lol. I treated them like dolls! I even helped with toilet training and would read them bed time stories.

I think I took the responsibility thing to heart! Nothing could’ve prepared us for Momma getting sick three years ago and having to leave us so soon. Our Mom was so smart to teach us to love and respect each other; while respecting boundaries, we are here for one another. Not only are we sisters, we are best friends. I know (yes, really I do!), that I can be too much of a mother from time to time, but I try to step back and remember that my sisters are independent, amazing, wonderful and yes, grown women.

I love my babies to the moon and back and it’s okay that I won’t have kids of my own ’cause I don’t feel like I’ve missed out, having been a part of my sisters’ lives. I will always be here for them and even though I’m not Momma, I will try to provide the love and nurturing she used to for us!

Post # 7
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

I have two younger sisters! I’m 25, one is 16, and the other is 10.

I don’t really mother the 23 year old. I used to, quite a bit! My mom likes to tell the story of how when she was born, I used to sleep on the nursery’s chaise so I could run and get one of my parents if she woke up and cried. But around the time she turned 12, it started annoying her, so it fell out of habit.

The 10 year old, though, I mother a lot. I used to take her to bed every night, feed her dinner, all of that. But now she’s starting to get annoyed at it, so that might stop soon. But I’m expecting, so soon enough I’ll actually be a mother and no one can stop me from fussing as much as I like. 

Post # 8
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Major.  My sister is 20 years my junior – she’s in kindergarten.  She comes to my house after school once a week, I dress her and take her to birthday parties if my mom can’t go, etc.  It was the same with my brother, who is only 10 years younger – I drafted his chore chart, I set rules for his cell phone, etc.  My mom is a little … batshit crazy and was obsessively controlling with me, so I negotiate on their behalf frequently and she defers to me more than I thought she ever would. 

Post # 9
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have two younger sisters, and I’m 22. My first little sister unfortunately passed away the day after her birth due to a tragic series of events and hospital errors, and she would have been 19 if she was still alive today. My second younger sister is 16 and she’s in high school. She has a bit of the typical teenage entitlement attitude, but she’s actually a really great kid. Good grades, very social, doesn’t drink or do any kind of drugs, and has a really good head on her shoulders. We used to fight all the time, but after I moved away for college, we became a lot closer. I guess not living under the same roof was a little helpful 🙂

Unfortunately, my parents are just recently going through marriage issues and are considering a divorce, which came as a massive shock to everyone in our family. They’ve been truly amazing parents when my sister and I were growing up, but during this time in their life, they’re starting to be more concerned with their own issues (understandably so) and they’re not being the absolute best parents for my sister these last few months.

She’s been staying with my fiancé and I off and on, depending on how tense and stressful it is at my parents. We drive her to school, make her lunches for her, have her over for dinner, let her come up and help with homework if she needs it. It’s been a couple months of playing “parents” off and on which has been stressful. But she’s my little sister and I want to make sure she’s okay durinv this really difficult time.

Post # 10
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

merighthere :  15 years younger. Full bio sister. When she was 9 we has to convince her I wasn’t a spare parent. She thought I wasn’t her sister cuz I did too much, but recognized that I wasn’t mom or dad. I laughed very hard and gave her a noogie.

Post # 11
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Wanted to add: One of the things I love to do is surprise them with treats and a theme every now and again like in The Little Princess! You know where Shirley Temple’s character Sarah wakes up to discover there are delicious treats and beautiful things all around her, when the night before she goes to bed cold and hungry? Just like that! Pastries and fruits galore! It was one of our classic faves to watch growing up!

Post # 12
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I AM the little sister, the littlest to be exact. I have three older sisters. One is 19 years older, one is 10 years older and one is 7 years older. My sister who is 19 years older than me is my half sister who actually has a daughter a year older than me and she most definitely always treated me like a daughter rather than a little sister. It drove me nuts! My sister that is 10 years older was much more the nurturing, motherly type, but as we’ve gotten older, I’m 29 she’s 39, we feel much more like just sisters! And the sister who is 7 years older than me has always just felt like a big sister, protective, but never motherly.

It’s funny hearing it from the big sister’s perspective! 

Post # 13
Member
6992 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My younger sister is 14 years younger than me. She’s 17, I’m 31. I’ve definitely always been motherly to her but I try to keep enough “big sister” in me so that I don’t seem like a nag. When she was a toddler she went EVERYWHERE with me, like I could hardly leave the house when I was in high school because she wanted to go. She’s also really close with my Darling Husband, because he’s been around her whole life. When we started dating she was only 6 months old so she literally doesn’t know anyone other than him in my life…lol.

I try to keep myself available to her to talk, I don’t ever want her to see me as a “mom” that she can’t come to. She and her mom are literally always at each other’s throats!!

Post # 14
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

merighthere :  

Two younger sisters 17 &16.

However the older one as Cerebral Palsy so she’s in a wheelchair so I am like her second mother, my mom is too nice and we had a few incdients at school where it was clear these people had no regard for her saftey so the RUDE mom steps in which is me.

As for the 16 year old she’s well…16. As previous PP’s said I mother her on social media where my mom doesn’t see it. Sometimes she needs to be reminded that certain things you shouldn’t post.

 

Post # 15
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

teddybears :  I don’t really mother the 16 year old.* I was half asleep writing that post and mixed up my sister and FI’s 23 year old brother. Whoops. 

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