(Closed) Bees with dress regret…did you tell FI?

posted 5 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Did you tell FI about your dress regret?
    Yes and he was cool with it : (22 votes)
    42 %
    Yes and he thinks its stupid to get a different dress : (18 votes)
    34 %
    I haven't yet, but I plan on it : (0 votes)
    No I haven't, what he doesn't know won't hurt him ;-) : (13 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee

    I bought a dress and loved it but my Fiance said if you see something you like better, no worries.  My first dress hasn’t come in yet but when it does it will be going straight to consignment, and I’m having a completely different style custom made instead.  I just showed him both of them and he LOVES the new one way more.

    Post # 5
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I told him about it and he understood why I had regret.  But he helped me understand that I was just nervous about the wedding and he helped me feel better about my dress.  Also I posted a picture here and the bee really helped me feel like I made the right choice.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    He knows but doesn’t seem to care. As long as I sell it or don’t bother him for extra money, everything will be ok. I waited 10 years for my wedding and at first was worried about money. I got lucky and things worked out for me, that I am getting my dream wedding, so having the right dress became important to me :). I’m in love with my new one. 

     

    was he very upset? How much is your new dress?  would you consider buying the sample?

    Post # 8
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I most certainly did NOT tell him.  My dress deposit was non-refundable and had already been paid (50% down).  If I had told him I’m sure that he would have flipped out, as would I had the situation been reversed.  Both of us are terribly practical people, so spending a few extra thousand on another dress during a year where we’re getting married and buying a place would have been playing russian roulette with our money.

    I recently went back to visit my dress in the store and fell in love all over again.  I chalked up my nerves to my mother being a VERY difficult person the first time around.  Smile

    Post # 9
    Member
    589 posts
    Busy bee

    I told him and we went to try on more dresses together.  I ended up loving my dress again in the end but I think he would have been totally fine with me buying another one if I wanted to.  Now having said that I do have to add that it was well within our budget for me to get another dress.  Perhaps he would have felt differently if I had wanted a 25K custom Pinina or something.

    Post # 10
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @NurseMandie:  you need to try in that dress and hopefully if it is the one you get lucky and get a huge discount.  I know how you feel, my original was not me at all!! I know my dress and I were meant to be! You’ll make the righT decision. 🙂 good luck and keep us posted 

    i think the Fiance did not give me a hard time bc I caught him at the right moment. I actually was not planning on telling him but he caught me researching how sell to a dress lol 

    both dresses ended up costing about the same as if I would have bought my new dress brand new. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I told him and he was unsupportive until I reminded him that he wasnt being asked to fork over a single penny. I stressed over it for 3 months and finally just decided to let go of my deposit and find something I would be happier with.

    To this day, I have ZERO regret and, eventually he got over it. It probably helped that he doesnt know how much the lost deposit was ($1150) or how much the new dress cost ($4950). If he knew he’d probably never let it go. He’s VERY frugal and I know money will always be an issue between us but I make more than him and this wasnt a shared cost so I was fine with it. 

    So long as you are footing the bill yourself and not going into debt to finance a new dress, do what you think with make you feel the most confident/beautiful on your wedding day.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @NurseMandie:  I showed him a picture of the other dress and he does like it. But the practical side of him says its a waste of money.I understand where he is coming from but I wish he could see that I want everything to be perfect especially my dress. 


    Maybe he’s being this way because he doesn’t want to see this happen with every purchase regarding the wedding? If you think i might be right, then assure him that every decision won’t change, and you won’t be flip flop waffling, costing a bunch of money over every detail. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes, I told him! I cried and cried about it and he was incredibly supportive.  He said he would do whatever he could so I could have the new dress and feel perfect on our day! He spoils me!

    Post # 14
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I had major dress regret to the point where I did almost blow a huge amount of money on a new dress. My fiance at the time was totally supportive and almost encouraged it because he wanted me to have the dream wedding. I didn’t spend the money and I wore the dress I originally bought, but he was supportive of my feelings.

    Post # 16
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @NurseMandie:  You wrote, “I would like him to see me in both dresses so he could pick it himself but I’m a traditionalist :-). A picture of the model is all he gets so then all he sees is dollar signs.” 

    Dude!  Honestly, men in general do note know the difference between tulle, satin or lace.  He wouldn’t care less if you were wearing an A-line, ballgown, or mermaid dress!  Just remember at the end of the day, all he wants to see walking down that aisle is you smiling back at him!!!  Laughing

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