(Closed) Bees without Dads – how do you cope with Father's Day?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee

@BeeandBeeBride27:  Wow!  You and your Future Sister-In-Law are a part of the family now! …well, not quite officially, but if you’ve been with them for the past 3 years, WTF?!  I would be SOOO pissed off if my parents said that Darling Husband couldn’t come or if Mother-In-Law wouldn’t let me come to Mother’s Day.  Just WOULD NOT happen!  Unfortunately, I’m not sure if this is a battle worth fighting, though I know what I would do with our families.  I do think you should let your Future Mother-In-Law how hurt you are by this.  She may or may not understand where you’re coming from and change her mind.  Maybe getting your Fiance in there would help too.

DH’s Dad passed away when he was 15, so he hasn’t celebrated Father’s Day for the same number of years.  He’s celebrated with my family a couple times, but its usually pretty busy around this time for both us and my family so it’s always low-key, if anything.  This year, my parents will be away so we had dinner together with the immediate family (which included my brother’s GF!  DH was working, though) last weekend.

Post # 33
Member
9224 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@BeeandBeeBride27:  i lost my father 3 years ago and my Fiance lost his father about 10 years ago. 

i visit the cemetary, sometimes.  last year FI’s aunt (FI’s father’s sister) had a little father’s day BBQ to remember and honor the fathers.

this year, i’m going on a 50 mile bike ride with my cycling friends.

 

Post # 34
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I give my mom the biggest hug on Father’s Day because really and truly, when my dad died (leaving 10 year old me and 7 year old brother) she had to become Mommy AND Daddy overnight.

I also spend some time with my maternal grandfather who treats me no different, if not better, than his own kids. I call all my uncles whom I have close relationships with.

But at the end of the day, my mom is the one who single-handly raised us.

 

@BeeandBeeBride27:  Maybe you can spend some time this year reaching out to the “father figures” in your life. Spend the rest of the day at the spa ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 35
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I ignore it and barely think about it.  I haven’t seen my father in about 15 years, if I’d have to guess.  I do feel very badly for my fiance, though, because his father committed suicide almost two years ago and I know it’s difficult for him.

Post # 36
Hostess
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

My grandfather, the only father I have ever known, the man that raised me from six months old died in March with the memorial in April that I was in charge of and I am really struggling this week. I really didn’t allow myself to start grieving until the memorial had passed. I went to buy a card for my Darling Husband (from the dogs) and I instinctively started shopping for a card for my grandfather. It stopped me cold and I became very emotional for a second. It is just too fresh right now.

We shall see how I do on Sunday.

Post # 37
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I literally don’t give it a thought. I’ve never known my father, nor had a father figure, so Father’s Day has never ever been of any significance to me. Although, I do have to remind my fiance to tell his dad happy Father’s Day because he’s good a forgetting stuff like that.

Post # 38
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

In our house.

, my fiancé and I call it extra Mother’s Day.  bothnof our fathers are out of the picture 

Post # 39
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My father sadly passed away after battling cancer last year on September 12th, three days after my birthday. He was only diagnosed last April ๐Ÿ™ So this will be the first father’s day without him and i’m expecting it to be hard. But my sister and I are taking part in a charity event called race for life for cancer research which is tomorrow on father’s day. I’ve been doing the event for 4 years but this year will be especially hard for me. Even more so as my fiance and I only got engaged on 27 May so i wont get to have him there on my special day. Other than taking part in the event in aid of him, i’m also collecting some of my herbs from my garden in our house that he only saw a few times before he got ill. I’ll be making a ‘herby’ bouquet and putting that on his grave once we’ve finished our event. 

Miss him ๐Ÿ™

Post # 40
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@BeeandBeeBride27:  I’m sorry. I would be a bit hurt by not being invited also – but that’s because I have always celebrated every holiday with them (fortunately our families live close and we are able to split the day).

I’m slowly getting over my “daddy issues” as well. I don’t recall celebrating father’s day with my father past the age of 8. Same deal as you…years of bad decisions on his part, and I officially cut ties several years ago.

I feel sad when I see how close some of my friends are with their fathers. But I’m also so grateful to have an amazing mother (she’s my best friend) and very strong male role models in my life (my uncle and grandfather.)

Tonight, I will be celebrating with my grandfather, and tomorrow, I will be celebrating with FI’s family.

Post # 41
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsTVLover:  i love that idea…

my father is in and out of my life and we virtually have no relationship. he used to be a FANTASTIC father until he hit his mid life crisis and never really ‘returned’ from it. he essentially destroyed our entire family dynamic and i don’t even think i consider him my father anymore. he is so different than the father i had as a child/pre-teen…they are like two very different people which is what makes me very sad. ANYWAY, i usually cope by forgetting it’s even father’s day. i know that sounds horrible but i would just rather not even think about it. the day doesn’t hold a lot of significance for me at all. as PP posted, my mother deserves mother’s day AND father’s day because she took on those two roles effortlessly and she did an amazing job. 

Post # 42
Hostess
11051 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@BeeandBeeBride27: My dad figure was my Grandad who passed away 15 yrs ago, I just wish I had been able to tell him that’s what I thought. My actual Dad doesn’t bothink and thinks I should still make effort. 

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