(Closed) Before getting engaged, how often did you talk about Marriage?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hmmmm….we moved in together in 2006, about 2 years later we started talking about marriage of and on and then we got engaged in the fall of 2009.

Post # 18
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We talked about it so much in the months leading up to the proposal that my dad started to get ansy and asked “so what is your plan with this wedding stuff?”

Post # 19
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hardly at all (in 8 years!!!). We had talked enough that I knew he wanted to be married one day. A few times, he had vaguely hinted that he would marry me. Mostly, it was friends asking when it would happen. And we joked about it A LOT – the standard answer was “He’s waiting to meet the right woman!” (or in his case, “I’m waiting to meet the right woman!”). Some friends thought this was highly offensive, but most knew us well enough to enjoy the line.

My OH is not one to be pushed. When he actually proposed, I was totally blown away and extremely chuffed that he had decided to spend his life with me – it was a decision that neither of us had taken lightly and that made it so special.

But I digress… No, we didn’t talk about it much at all – occassionally I’d stare lovingly at the sparkly rings in the jewellers shop window, but that was about it!

RainStorm. xx

Post # 20
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

All the time! Even too much at times, leading to us OVERthinking it. Which I didn’t even think was possible. I think it’s better to occassionally talk about it so it becomes special and meaningful when you talk about going to a jewlery shop, or those little hints.

Post # 22
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We talked about marriage once and that was pretty much the day I found out I was pregnant.  It was more along the lines of him saying “You know I love you and I’ll be there.  We’ll do this together.  We could get married …” and I think I said “We could …” and we kind of left it at that.  About a week later, he proposed with the family stone.  We were both almost 19 at that time. 

Post # 23
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We were together for 5 years before he proposed…we really started talking about marriage and kids when we moved out to Reno from Michigan together in May 2008  I know I wouldn’t have moved with him if he hadn’t at least hinted that he wanted to marry me.  Then, in the summer of last year, I started going crazy about it.  People started constantly asking “When are you getting married?” and his Mom started getting really involved and bugging him (and me!) about it.  It just really started to seem like it wouldn’t happen, like he was only SAYING he was going to marry me to keep me happy.  SO I had to be an ultimatum girl and let him know that I wasn’t going to wait around for him forever while he continued to talk about  “saving up for a ring” and that I would move back to Michigan if I didn’t feel like he was ever going to go through with it.

He didn’t give me any cues but the weekend we went away for the “proposal” his Mom sent me a message on Facebook giving me at least four numbers to reach her “just in case” I needed to get in touch with her over the weekend and I pretty much knew what was going to happen.  I told him later on about her message (just not that I knew what was going to happen) and he was really upset. I can’t say that I blame him!

Post # 24
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We talked about marriage all the time, how we would plan the wedding, everything! I made sure not to do it in a nagging way, but we really enjoyed planning the future! The first time he brought up marriage holds a special place in my heart! I still remember everything about that day!

Post # 25
Member
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We had a heart to heart before moving in together about how we saw the next few years playing out, our goals with one another, plans for children, financial goals, etc. We moved in together. About 5 months later we decided we wanted to get married the following year, and we’d better get planning. We picked a ring out. It was delivered. He planned a proposal and proposed.

It was a few key conversations followed up by him taking action. We didn’t need to talk about it that much because the talks we had were so thorough and clear.

Post # 27
Member
3138 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

I don’t remember ever really talking about it. We just knew that was the next step we wanted to take. There never seemed to be any need to discuss it.

Post # 28
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We talked about it on and off during the six years we lived together before getting engaged, nothing specific just general stuff.  We actually spoke more about having kids before getting engaged and i actually asked my FH to stop talking about marriage and babies for six months so I could have some time to think about it and get my head round the whole idea!

For what it’s worth, once my FH stopped talking about marriage and babies i had a really good chance to think about my options and future and what it was I wanted.  Once I had thought about it enough I proposed 🙂

Post # 29
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

We talked about it once in a while if it came up naturally, maybe every other week. I thought about it much more often than that though. We talked about the state of our relationship and what we both felt the natural progression would be. We also talked about other people’s weddings or plans and compared them hypothetically to our own. Before the proposal, he was definitely bringing it up more often and being more affectionate. When he started feeling comfortable bringing it up, I knew it had to be coming soon, so I shut up about it, trying to not ruin the surprise.

@RenoRose: love your explanation of your dad’s confusion over what makes you engaged. My dad was the same. After Fiance asked his permission, he assumed we were basically engaged and spilled the beans.

Post # 31
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My situation is almost identical to CaitMarae…. We have been together 5 years now and we aren’t “officially” engaged, but we talk about it at least once a week now and have been talking about it at least once a month since probably the 2nd week we were together… He is pretty much my twin… as far as personalities are concerned and we both have been married previously so we knew what we wanted…

@RenoRose I am living through your story currently… I am ordering the ring in the next couple weeks and our parents already know the plan of attack, but I hope my FH is as generous as yours and doesn’t make me wait too long after he picks it up… LOL

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