Post # 1
We had a date set for Nov 4, deposits down, save the dates sent, but we have now decided we don’t have the money for a big wedding. We are going to elope to a B&B Sept 16 with just our parents and siblings. My fiancee has a huge family and wants to tell everyone, but I think feelings will be hurt since not everyone is invited. I think we should send out announcements the day we get back. We do plan on having a celebration party with everyone on Nov 4 still but we are not doing dinner or anything fancy, just drinks and dancing at a hall. So we are still going to included everyone on that, we have a guest list of 200 people, so its going to be a big party. We are thinking of typing up a email to send to all his relatives kinda explaining our change of plans and we will be thinking of everyone and we still are excited to celebrate when we get back. We see all of this family regularly so we will end up taking to them in person after the email goes out and before we elope. Has anyone done this? Is this even a good idea? Could this backfire? Advice please!
Post # 2
If you are looking to reduce costs I would think providing drinks for 200 people to be very expensive.
I had sent out STD’s for a small 30 person Destination Wedding wedding and have since canceled those plans. We are eloping on September 5th. Sometime this autumn we plan to host a small house party, food catered for our immediate family which is about 16 people.
We have told some friends in passing and our immediate family of our plans to elope and on the day we are married, after the ceremony I will announce it on facebook which will cover most people we associate with. No formal announcements will go out.
I don’t think you need to send out an email detailing your change of plans. STD’s are just that, they are not an invite. If you send out a formal announcement regarding your elopement at that time you can include the invite to your celebration party with RSVP.
Post # 3
I would probably let people know ahead of time that the plan has changed. I think this is more respectful than just sending an announcement after the fact.
Post # 4
That will teach me to vote before reading the post. I voted to send announcements afterwards, but that was before I saw that you’ve already sent STDs and the elopement won’t be for another month. What if people make travel arrangements? You absolutely have to tell people right away that you’re not getting married on 11/4. It would be awful to let them spend money on something you know is not happening. Since you have to do that anyway, I would probably just use the same email to tell them you’ve switched from the big wedding to an elopement and that you’re still having a celebration on 11/4 but it won’t be the actual wedding. That way people can make arrangements with all the facts.
Post # 5
You need to let people know ASAP that plans have changed. If you have any out of town guests, etc. who will be traveling and booking flights they have a right to know that the event they will be invited to will be a different event from the one that they received a save the date for.
Are you just having drinks with 200 people, no snacks or appetizers? That might be a recipe for disaster if you have a bunch of people drinking on an empty stomach.
Post # 6
I did the same thing…if everyone is local i would say don’t worry about it and send the announcement. but if you know of people that will need to coordinate travel they will most likely be booking their travel soon if they haven’t already. You need to let them know asap.
Post # 7
I’m rethinking this.. When I decided our Destination Wedding was off I did send out a mass text messages stating so without going into great detail. This was easy to do as we only sent STD’s to 30 people.
Since you have a much larger guest list an email would be more appropriate. Again, I wouldn’t go into some lengthy explanation but you could let them know that another event is scheduled to take place on the same date and to expect invites to follow.
Post # 8
Im so confused.
You’re cancelling the wedding on Nov 4 because you cant afford it. But you are going to host a party on Nov 4. Whats the point in cancelling? Why dont you just get married on Nov 4 and have the party you are planning to throw afterwards? It doesnt sound like youre even saving any money?