Post # 1
My sweetheart and I are going to have an engagement party (when he finally asks LOL) and will, I assume have a bachlorette party since my Maid/Matron of Honor has already said that she would like to throw me one when the time comes.
Here’s the problem though. Our wedding is going to be very small and intimate with family only. The only person that techically isn’t family is my Maid/Matron of Honor but she might as well be. We aren’t inviting any of our friends or acquaintences. We want it small and intimate.
I have been doing some reading and everyone seems to say that inviting people to parties before the wedding that aren’t going to be invited to the actual event is simply not done. I can understand that for the bridal shower (which I don’t want to have) because there are likely gifts involved. Even still, I would love to have some of my friends attend these events to celebrate with us.
How does one go about having these celebrations with the people that they are close to or care about even though no one will be invited to the wedding?
Post # 3
I normally wouldn’t invite anyone to anything wedding related if they aren’t invited to the wedding but I suppose going out for a girls night with some friends before you get married if phrased like that is ok. Maybe instead of them being invited to your bach party, your Maid/Matron of Honor can say to the other girls she wants to put together a girls night before you get married and if they don’t already know, she can spread the word that it’s a small family wedding.
Post # 4
@His_Swallow: Just let you friends know about your wedding and how it’s family only. No one will care. It’s your choice for your wedding. Everyone loves a bachelorette party. i wouldn’t worry so much about it!
Post # 5
pp’s are right about the bachelorette party – just call it a girls night out.
as for the engagement party, i would hold off and throw a party after the wedding instead. that way you can invite anyone you want to celebrate with you, not just people at the wedding.
Post # 6
You can totally have an engagement party! All your friends will understand that you are having a small family only wedding (its not like your inviting half your friends and leaving half out.)
On your engagment party invitations, you can just indicate something like “no need for gifts, your presence is your gift” just in case you are worried about ppl bringing gifts, when they arn’t invited to your wedding.
Post # 7
I agree with previous posters… I think the bachelorette party is fine. Call it a girls night out, or “Last fling before the ring” or something like that. And have your Maid/Matron of Honor spread the word that although you are having a small, family-only wedding, she would like to get together with all of your friends to celebrate.
As for the engagement party, I think that is a little trickier. If it is very informal, like everyone getting together at a bar to celebrate, I think that is fine. But if you are sending out actual invites, I’m not sure I would do that. You are telling people you like them enough to celebrate the engagement with them, but not the wedding. (I totally understand you might just WANT a small wedding, but it can be tough.) And some people do assume that they need to bring gifts to an engagement party, too.
I think the previous idea of throwing a little bash when you are married would be a great idea. Maybe a “welcome home” from the honeymoon thing!