(Closed) Behold, I'm the all-mighty "Gatekeeper!" (Rant)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

O she sounds tough to deal with, but I’d just let this one go. It’s not like she wrote the actual list…and most likely she didn’t mean anything specific by having #19 on there. And even if she DID find that one meaningful, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she thinks her son hasn’t chosen wisely. 


Save your battles, although I’m sure I’d be wondering the same thing inside, especially because of the other examples you gave. 


Post # 4
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think she posted this to fend you, I’ve seen lots of people post this on FB a bunch of times.

I actually think it’s very wise advise for a mother to tell her son. Same with a lot of the other eleices of advice on there.

I have to admit tho, I would be tempted to comment on the post with something like “great advice, I will keep this for the future – signed, The Gatekeeper. Lol

Post # 5
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


He who would cross the Bridge of Death

Must answer me These questions three

Ere the other side he see.


But seriously, I wouldn’t say anything.  Unless she specifically called out #19 I highly doubt the post was directed at you.  It sounds like your general dislike for your Mother-In-Law is causing you to read too much into things.

Post # 6
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@gardenroses:  My Future Mother-In-Law is this way, and I am HAPPY i’m the gatekeeper because she is missing about 17 screws, seriously. And the worst thing is she doesnt think she is at fault for anything that happens and for the way the relationship with her sons has deteriorated. I’m pretty sure she believes it is all my fault that her eldest son didnt speak to her for over a year. Even though she is super sweet with me, she is totally passive aggressive, manipulative and has no sense of time and place or generalized etiquette and not somebody I admire or respect other than the fact that she somehow produced my amazing Fiance who takes nothing after her. there is no way except over my dead body that that woman will have any prolonged time with my future children. (aka anything over a weekend every once in a blue moon) Just no. And if she realized this on her own I would be ecstatic, because I know that conversation is going to come and it probably wont be pretty. Yaaayyyy for the gate keeper (scoooree)

But honestly, if she wants to be passive aggressive let her be, it will drive her insane. Adn if you do answer it might just lead to many many problems.



Post # 7
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Well actually if she changes and apologizes and admits to some of the terrible things she’s done then yes I would, because I believe in second chances, but if I was to give birth tomorrow, yeah no.

Post # 8
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@gardenroses:  I’ve seen this one on Facebook, too.  My fiance’s aunt, who has two boys, posted it.  For the most part, I think it is fairly wise advice that I wish more mothers would pass on to their sons.  And too a point, #19 rings true for us.  His mother, and father, has been more than a little difficult to deal with through the wedding planning process.  You see, my fiance was this wonderful, sweet, agreeable boy until his bossy, controlling, disrespectful fiancee turned him, and, of course, they never did anything to deserve the way we have treated them.  It has resulted in us seeing them maybe once a month (and we live 1/2 an hour away in the same city).  I refuse to put up with their behaviour and am happy to act as the gatekeeper if it means I don’t have to deal with them more than that.  I don’t think #19 was on there just for you, and even if it were, maybe being the gatekeeper to a relationship like that isn’t such a bad thing.  Don’t sweat it!

Post # 9
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@gardenroses: I think its entirely possible you are taking one item out of a reposted article and taking it waaay personally when it wasn’t ever intended to be.  The article also said to treat your spouse kindly so there’s that too!

Beyond that – I think the advise is actually not bad and not even neccessarily a put down of women.  Women do tend to be the “gatekeepers” when it comes to socializing with extended families and a LOT of women really don’t like to have a lot of involvement with their in-laws.   

Post # 10
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@gardenroses:  Wow, your Future Mother-In-Law sounds like mine lol.  If she ever posted something like that on facebook, I’d have a hard time not posting this.

Post # 13
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@gardenroses:  Oh, it would be so hard not to slip that into some conversation…”Let me get the door for you…I take my job as Gatekeeper so seriously…”

Post # 14
4925 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

LOL gatekeeper

Post # 15
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

A lot of them would be beneficial TO you… so maybe dwell on ones like these…

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee.  Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.

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