- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
This is my first time starting a thread, so I apologize in advance because I’ll probably be all over the place..and long…I have a bit of an annoyance/dilemma.
Backstory: My gf got engaged after a year of dating end of 2012 and I was told I was going to be one of her bridesmaids. Awesome. I will support her 100%. I got engaged summer 2013, after 3 years of dating. Cool, we get to talk about weddings together! Dear Fiance and I booked a venue (we wanted our wedding during the fall) as early as we could. It’s an old barn museum on 5 acres of land at the base of an escarpment. When my gf asked if we had chosen a venue, I told her. I heard “That’s what *I* wanted.” I keep my mouth shut, but think, OK well then why didn’t you choose it!? (They are getting married in a banquet hall–he has a large family.)
My wedding is fall 2014. Hers is Winter 2015.
I feel like everything is a competition, so I try not to start any conversations to do with my own wedding. We’re close friends and I’m a bridesmaid in hers, but she’s not in mine–I don’t think it’s courteous of me to talk about it (too much). I tried on dresses, and showed her the pictures when she asked. She says I look good in all of them, etc. The next day, she emails me pictures of the dress she wants, says she found a boutique that sells it too. The picture she emails is one that I’ve tried on (and sent a pic of). I say, “Oh yes, I’ve tried that on, I really like it, but it’s heavy”. She gets defensive. Do I know that she got engaged before me, and therefore should be the first to do the wedding things (dresses, bridesmaid, flowers, dj, caterers, venue, etc etc)?
I have gotten emails/texts daily: “Have you booked your caterer yet? Oh, we booked ours already. We got a DJ too.” I end up saying, “Oh nice. Ya I’m not sure yet, we haven’t decided about _____, but we’re looking at options, no rush really, right?” She asked me this week if I even had chosen my bridesmaids yet, I replied with “I do, and they had been asked. Everything is on track so far with our wedding, I’m pretty sure”. She then tells me after New Years, she wants to take me and her 2 other bridesmaids to go Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping. All I keep screaming in my head is, YOU HAVE OVER A YEAR! IT’S NOT URGENT!
I don’t really know what the point of this rant is really, except procrastinating devising a response to her email (If I don’t respond, I get a text that says, “wow, you aren’t very talkative today. you mad?”)
(FTR: I have booked my venue, caterer, DJ & photographer)
Does anyone maybe have some advice as to how to deal with her when she asks me questions? I feel like everything is a competition with me, and I think I may lose my shit soon.