Being a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding…

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You are a bridesmaid, but the bride doesn’t want you to get ready with her?? AND your brother is kicking you out of your accommodation for stupid reasons, and not letting you get ready there? Both of these things are insanely rude, and I would tell your brother as much. Your Future Sister-In-Law sounds like a peach…

Post # 3
Member
4757 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I did not get along with my SIL But I invited her to the bridal suite at our venue as I got dressed because I felt it was the right thing to do. She sat in a corner on her phone and I called attention to it, telling her to join us. Yeah she wasn’t blood related but I married into the family, so she was family.

I think anyone would feel the way you are feeling right now… I’m sorry you feel so lousy, I would feel that way too. You mentioned that you could stay close to the venue? I would do that.

Post # 4
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Tell your brother and his fiancee that you are going to have to get ready somwehere, and it can be in another room of wherever they are getting ready. There is no other choice. You can’t get ready at home because you will be a mess after hours in traffic. They have to relent in their wishes and see sense. 

You won’t tread on any toes, but after this day, you will be your future sil’s family too.

Post # 5
Member
3294 posts
Sugar bee

Is there absolutely NO hotel in the surrounding area? I wouldn’t take a week off for a wedding either, particularly after this incident.

Post # 6
Member
5963 posts
Bee Keeper

“Sorry, this is where I’m staying and this is where I’ll be getting ready.” 

What kind of BS is that to kick you out of your own room?! Ugh. 

Post # 7
Member
2617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

“I made accommodations for myself seeing as the house will not be ready for me to stay with mom and dad. Sine you have changed your mind and do not want me in the annex, I no longer have a place to stay and get ready. I’m sure you agree that it would be ridiculous to drive 60 miles in traffic after getting ready, so if you do not want me present in the annex or in the bridal suite, where will I be able to get ready?”

I would send that to both brother and Future Sister-In-Law.

Post # 8
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee

“I don’t have anywhere else to get ready, and this is where all of my stuff will be.  I will try to stay out of the pictures when the groom and his party are here.”

And then just be done with it.

Post # 10
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

ladyartichoke :  eff that. i would’t leave. get ready at the annex and if he wants pics then you’ll just stay out of them. he’ll deal. and what’s with this “men only” BS? makes me wonder what they are planning on doing..

Post # 11
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

That’s very rude of both your brother and his Fiance. I’d be upset too.

Your Fiance not letting you get ready with her is rude. “Only family” is not the best thing to say when she’s supposed to be getting married into your family on that day. You’re her FI’s sister AND a bridesmaid, to not give you somewhere to get ready is pretty rude.

Your brother kicking you out of where you are staying is incredibly selfish of him, especially when you have nowhere else to stay. I would tell him that he either finds you somewhere else to stay (or his Fiance lets you get ready with her), or you aren’t leaving annex when they’re getting ready. This is just my relationship with my brothers, but if any one of them tried doing this to me, I’d tell him he was being a serious jerk and he’d have to physically remove me from the annex if he wanted me out.

Post # 12
Hostess
7619 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

ladyartichoke :  oh wow bee. I don’t have an suggestion for you but the whole situation sounds horrible. Why is no one accommodating you? I would be pissed my Future Sister-In-Law didn’t want me to get ready with her. Who has someone as a Bridesmaid or Best Man but doesn’t want them with them in the morning?! 

Post # 13
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

i dont find you to be irrational at all,bee. i find your brother and his fiance irrational. am i allowed to call them both assholes? how in gods name are you a bridesmaid but not allowed to get ready with the rest of the maids? thats bullshit. they should both be ashamed of themselves. how selfish.

 i suggest exactly what everyone else is, tell them that is where you are tsaying and you will be getting ready there, they can find somewhere else to take pictures. dont be a pushover. you are not the problem here

Post # 14
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

Unless this annex is the size of a coat closet, them kicking you out for pictures makes no sense.  

Post # 15
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Brides always get ready with bridesmaids. That’s weird

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