(Closed) Being a bridesmaid while planning your own wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am doing it right now! My best friend is getting married less than a month after me. There have been a few bumps in the road and a few awkward moments. It’s a little difficult to share a vision and also worry about your wedding being a carbon copy of someone else’s. We have both kind of agreed that while we are both bridesmaids in each others’ weddings, we definitely need to focus on our own planning and appointments first and foremost.

Post # 4
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was! My friend got engaged in Dec. 2011 and got married June 2012. I got engaged Feb 2012 and am getting married Oct. 2012. It was such a fun experience!!! We understood the crazyness and got to plan together. It wasn’t a problem at all at any point and we are so much closer now!

Post # 5
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My best friend is getting married Aug 4 and we’re getting married Oct 27. Shes my best friend and at times it can be a little stressful having to worry about two weddings at once but its just something that you deal with because that person is a friend. Its nice knowing what each other is going through because its just something else in life we can do together! I actually love that we are experiencing our weddings together.

Post # 7
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My sister and I are in this situation. She and her fiance got engaged the day before my fiance proposed. They had been dating 3 months and originally planned to get married in Spring 2014, but now plan to get married on their 2 year anniversary next Fall (late September). I was originally hoping to get married this Fall (always wanted a Fall wedding), but for various reasons, we pushed it back to next Spring. We were hoping to get married in March/April, but vendors fill up quickly and we ended up with May 18. There are only about 4 months between our weddings. I think we both would like there to be more time between the two, but although the planning will overlap, the guest experiences will be completely different.

The hard part is that I find myself holding back talking about my wedding. It is a tough balance between sharing these special moments with each other while not making light of the other person’s special moment.

I am hoping to embrace it and have a similar experience as OctBrideToBe had with her friend!

Post # 8
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am going to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my FSIL’s wedding which will be a few months before mine; she got engaged a few months after I did.  It’s fun, she actually lives with me and my Fiance, so we can kind of plan them both together and bounce ideas off eachother.  The only awkward thing for me is that she and her Fiance are paying for their very low-budget wedding, whereas my fairly well-off parents are paying for mine, so sometimes I feel awkward talking about certain things.  Oh. the other uncomfortable thing is that I am one of her BMs but she is not one of mine.

Post # 9
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I got married (first time around) in June and my BFF the October after. It wasn’t complicated at all for either of us, and we were each other’s MoHs.

Post # 10
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yes. In fact, when I was a bridesmaid and planning my wedding, one of my bridesmaids was planning her wedding as well.

@loving_life:  The only awkward thing for me is that she and her Fiance are paying for their very low-budget wedding, whereas my fairly well-off parents are paying for mine, so sometimes I feel awkward talking about certain things.

Haha, it was vice versa in my case. My husband and I paid for the majority of our DIY wedding ourselves, while my gf/bridesmaid’s parents paid for hers. There were a few instances of envy, but at the end of the day it was a wonderful experience, and the fact that we’re such different people/had totally different visions for our wedding days made everything alright in the end. Now, had she copied or imitated my ideas, or been critical about our lower budget, I imagine it would have turned into something nasty, but it was actually pretty awesome. We got to experience a lot of the same emotions and issues that most other people didn’t really understand or care about. (And hell, we even had the same [amazing, badass, etc] DJ.)

In general, though, I think it’s somewhat difficult to be a bridesmaid and engaged at the same time. There might be feelings of competition, jealousy, etc. You really have to set aside some of your own priorities to be 100% there for your friend. That’s what being a bridesmaid is all about, after all!

Post # 11
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My best friend and I were doing this for each other. I got married in July, she’s getting married in October.  There hasn’t been a single issue–in fact, its been SO amazing to have someone who will never get tired of wedding talk! Now that my wedding is over, I’m super energized for hers!

I’m actually more worried about the fact that both my sister and my SIL will each be getting engaged VERY shortly (definitely by the end of the year), and I’ll be a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man at the same time! That may though have more to do with being a very happy Maid/Matron of Honor to my sister and a very trepidatious Bridesmaid or Best Man to my SIL…

Post # 12
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m waiting on that to happen!
My best friends boyfriend has already told me he has a ring picked out & I’ve seen pictures. She’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and I will be hers. My wedding isn’t until June 21, 2013 (we are doing a destination wedding so we have a long engagement – engaged March 12, 2012) so there’s a good chance hers could be a month or two after mine.
I’ll definetely be on the boards looking for suggestions on how to handle all of it!

Post # 13
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m in the same boat!  My best friend is marrying my FI’s best friend this November, and we’ll be getting married in the spring.  We’re each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor, and our FI’s are each other’s best men!  We all started dating right around the same time, and it’s been really fun!  Our planning experiences are very different, as she has a super-involved mom and planner (and undefined/astronomical budget), whereas I am doing most of it myself and am very budget-conscious, but it has been so fun so far!  I’m not going to lie and say there haven’t been occasional tense moments with us all just being so close, but it’s so great to have someone to bounce ideas off of and commiserate with!

Post # 14
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was actually in this situation until very recently.  I got engaged a few months after my best friend, and we were supposed to be in each other’s weddings (mine is June 2013, hers is October 2013).  I thought it would be really fun to be planning together, but yesterday she texted me she thinks it will be too stressful to plan a wedding and be in a wedding at the same time, and what did I think about not being in each other’s weddings?

 

I’m not going to lie, I’m heart broken.  I think if you’re mindful of the different planning circumstances (family issues, budgets, etc), it can be a fun to be engaged at the same time you’re in a wedding.  But if you do decide that you don’t think you can be in a wedding, I would tread very carefully as to how you broach the subject.

Post # 15
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am VERY nervous about this!  I have a feeling my best friend/MOH will be getting engaged in December/January and be trying to plan a wedding for Fall 2013 (my wedding is July 2013).  I’m trying to take advangtage of the time til then to get the most out of my Maid/Matron of Honor until the focus has to be split between the two weddings.  I’m trying to encourage her to wait until Spring of 2013 so that she could have more time “to herself” to celebrate

Post # 16
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@kamar222:  I think if you’re mindful of the different planning circumstances (family issues, budgets, etc), it can be a fun to be engaged at the same time you’re in a wedding. But if you do decide that you don’t think you can be in a wedding, I would tread very carefully as to how you broach the subject.

Yes. I think this is a fabulous mindset in this particular situation, it’s exactly what I would have liked to say earlier.

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