(Closed) being a good wife

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yup.

I am not a good cook, hate cleaning (I’ve paid my sister $50 to do my dishes before), laundry makes me cringe, and I’m pretty sure wives do most of those things. I’m going to have to learn a lot I know. I’m really worried because my FH is making a lot of sacrifices to live where I want, which is really inconvenient for him. I want it to seem “fair”, so I’m planning on taking cooking classes of some kind. (sounds weird, but he has told me if he gets fed when he gets home he will drive any distance to get there.)

He wants kids like, yesterday, and I’m also worried I won’t be a good mom, but that’s a whole other story…

Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

What is your definition of being a “good wife?”

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

In the traditional sense? No. I actually enjoy traditional “wifely” duties like cooking, cleaning & laundry. However, I do worry about being able to maintain a healthy relationship my whole life, as my parents didn’t set a very good example for me growing up.

Post # 6
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

if you were a good girlfriend and a good fiance, why would you not be a good wife?  i don’t think anything in that sense should really have to change just b/c you are now married

Post # 7
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t worry about it.  For one thing, we already live together, so not much will change.  I was a good girlfriend, I feel like I’m a good fiancee, I am a great friend.  I am not a good cook, but I love him and I’ll always think of what’s best for him.  I will always try and do my best, and in all honesty, isn’t that all I’m asking him to do?  His best?  If his best is enough to make me happy, then why wouldn’t my best be enough to make him happy… know what I mean?

Post # 8
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

My fiance cooks dinner every night and makes our lunches for work. He also cleans and does laundry…he’s a great wife! 😉

Post # 9
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Being a “good wife” doesn’t have anything to do with being a good cook, cleaner, or decorator.  Those are incredible gender stereotypes that have somehow lasted over the years and been turned into “good wife” descriptions.  Being a good wife means being supportive, being honest, being loving, being open and being fair.  Understand that you won’t be right all of the time, and neither will he/she.  It’s about being a good partner.  The “wife” is simply the name placed on it.

Post # 10
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Ms. Library:  This.

Darling Husband tells me I’m a good wife because I got his back. He’s a good husband because he got mine. We’re a team. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Bostongrl25:  Love it! Haha!

We figured out pretty early that we are each better at certain things, so we divide work in a way that we both agree is fair. I do all the cooking, meal planning, and grocery shopping (he usually has no idea what is even in the fridge or pantry), but he makes up for it by doing laundry and cleaning. I get pretty tired during the week, but my weekends are awesome – I get to lounge around while he cleans 🙂

Post # 13
Member
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

@Ms. Library:  Agreed!

I don’t worry about being a ‘good wife’ or him being a ‘good husband’ because we already have a successful relationship, respect each other, and treat each other like equal partners. I think that will just carry over into marriage (:

Post # 14
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

For us, being a good wife (or spouse, really) means being a partner and a supporter, as that’s something he can’t necessarily get from others. We can always hire someone to clean and we can always eat out/get takeout, but he can’t necessarily confide and get emotional support in someone else to the level and degree that I can provide for him. On occasions, I feel bad that I’m a terrible housekeeper and I rarely cook because we both work full-time and I have a significant daily commute, but I’m reassured by the fact that even when I offer to clean/cook, he says no and wants to just hang out instead.

Post # 16
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I was a good girlfriend, now I’m a good fiance, so I’m not worried that I’ll be a good wife.

Just like he was a good boyfriend, is now a good fiance, and I’m not worried that he’ll be a good husband.

Smile

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