(Closed) Being a “good wife”

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@flyinpig3: I really like the way you put it! A “good partner” is exactly what I want to be as a wife, and what I want from him as a husband. 🙂

Post # 48
Member
3674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Well I don’t work, so I feel even more pressure to “be a good wife!” But due to health reasons (pregnant with awful migraines that keep me just lying on the couch in pain every day), I don’t do any of my wifely duties. And he doesn’t love me any less for it.

Post # 49
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee

I often feel like a “good wife” when I’ve done something for ‘us’.  But, that hasn’t really changed (I’d be the ‘good fiance” or the “good girlfriend” before).  I don’t have a problem with being a ‘good wife’ or even using the term  ‘good wife’, because I don’t find it to be demeaning – meaning – I don’t think there are certain roles I MUST fill because I’m female.

I broke down several weeks ago, because I’ve been taking care of my mom (that became disabled after a fall) and was stressed out and frustrated that my attention was completely diverted from DH.  I told him that I felt like a failure wife because I had little energy for our relationship.

I guess this is all to say – that it’s probably 90%+ of our own doing that puts pressure to be a certain way.  Don’t feel like you have to conform to certain roles because other people have done them that way.  Do what works for you and your husband.  Talk about what HIS expectations of your relationship are and check in with him from time to time to make sure those haven’t shifted or to see if anything has changed.  That’s the best thing you could possibly do – AND, I bet you’ll come out of those conversations feeling like a wonderful wife 🙂

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