(Closed) Being a MOH and TTC

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was TTC as a Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend. I thought it was pretty important that she knew and I just asked her to please keep it between us. She understood and was perfectly fine with it. Don’t stress about it, it could take you a couple of months to get pregnant and you wouldn’t have any problem being her Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 4
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

No and no. You don’t need to stress her out by telling her that you are TTC becuase you don’t know if you will even be pregnant at that point. Just tell her if and when it happens and if it will affect the dress. And I would not forgo TTC becuase I was in someone’s wedding. There will always be something inconvenient trying to hold you back from TTC.

Post # 5
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


I am in the same boat — the complication is that my MOM is the bride and I am already locked in as Matron of Honor! I had a really vivid dream last night that I was pregnant. I know it wouldn’t have been this cycle, so it would have been last month, which would have put me around 3 weeks post-partum on her wedding date!

I worry about the same things. DH and I are adamant that we aren’t sharing our TTC plans with family because we feel like there would be a lot of pressure. In-laws ask us all the time about kids and poke fun at us (all good-naturedly) but we want to keep it between us. That said, we have told a few very close friends who aren’t close with our families so we know it won’t get back.

I haven’t told my mom because it’s no guarantee I will actually be pregnant before her wedding, and we have decided on our timeline for what works best for us. It may not be ideal for a wedding or for my job, but we want a family and have to prioritize that first.

PM me if you want to discuss further — it sounds like we are in the same boat. Good luck!

Post # 6
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@megz06:  +1. Don’t say anything, and I’d just accept if she asks and you want to do it.

My best friend is getting married in 17 days, and I am her Maid/Matron of Honor. We were TTC through her engagement and it didn’t stop us from continuing that plan, nor did I see it necessary to tell her/potentially stress her out. We ran into troubles conceiving so it did take longer than we expected anyways. I will be 30 weeks for her wedding, my dress no longer fits but alterations are in the works. I have not had to do a thing differently (other than alter the dress, and get kitten heels instead of big ones), and have had no trouble attending all the pre-wedding events and still help her out lots. If you happened to be due basically ON her wedding date, that is something to discuss when it happens. Things can happen really quickly, or take a long time.

Just do what you plan on doing and figure out the details of it all once things are carved in stone (ie: she has the ring, the hall and date is officially booked and you have a positive pregnancy test and official due date). No sense worrying about it unti then. 🙂

Post # 7
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

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Post # 8
3751 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My Maid/Matron of Honor was going to put off TTC because of my wedding, until she found out I was TTC lol. She was afraid I’d be disappointed that she could be pregnant during the wedding planning/bachelorette party/wedding day. Of course I wouldn’t be, I’d be thrilled if she got pregnant. We’d work around it and if she couldn’t come to the wedding because of the pregnancy, I’d be sad of course, but so happy for her. I wouldn’t avoid TTC because you never know how long it’s going to take. And I you can tell her if you feel the need, but you don’t have to. 

Post # 10
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think you need to say anything, she may know/assume you will TTC soon anyway.  If you do accept to be her Maid/Matron of Honor and do end up pregnant, tell her when you would normally tell your friends (after however many weeks you are comfortable telling people) and you can decide from there if being her Maid/Matron of Honor is something you can still do.  I don’t think you have to give her any prewarning because you don’t know exactly when you will be pregnant.  When the time comes if you are pregnant before her wedding, based on your due date you can decide if attending her wedding is possible.

Post # 11
1530 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Jamjam:  I am in the same boat.  We are TTC and I am a bridesmaid for my friends wedding in August 2014.  She started looking at bridesmaids dresses already and I told her to wait a few months since new styles will be coming out. BUT I had an alternate agenda – she might need to pick a style that works with a baby bump!

Post # 12
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just wait until she asks you and see where you are at with the whole TTC thing. I don’t think it’s necessary to tell her upfront, it really depends what you’re comfortable with.

Post # 13
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Jamjam:  My sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor & got pregnant the month after I got engaged, which put her due 4 weeks before my wedding. She said she was going to have trouble doing her Maid/Matron of Honor duties because of her pregnancy & already having a 3 y/o at home and as the bride, I decided it was more important to have my sister stand beside me on my wedding day then have her perform her “duties”. I had 2 other Bridesmaid or Best Man that helped with the bridal shower, and other things. She ended up having the baby 4 1/2 weeks early, which made my nephew 8 weeks at the wedding & it worked out really well. I also know that if my sister had gotten pregnant and was due the same time as my wedding I would have been okay with her stepping down from the wedding party because I wouldn’t expect her to travel 2+ hours away from home for our wedding. I’d say just proceed with your TTC plans and when you get pregnant you can share the news with the bride (when you are comfortable).

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